My Monday Muse

Senorita Caliente

Last year I carelessly seduced all you foolz wiff a little lovey dovey ditty entitled "Pardon Me" that was performed by the apple of your eye airplane stewardess of tus sueños, Maxine Swaby. But that shiz, while timeless, is sOOoOOOooo 2010! For 2011 we need an exciting new anthem [read as: sumfing delightfully crappy that actually is a few yearz old]. We need a song that we spice up our livez and charm our undarooz off. And that's why, wiffout further ado, I present to y'all, "Rojo Caliente":

Wow...how red hawt is dat shiz?! It seemz to me that Meagan (who should totez adopt mah petname Senorita Caliente as her official alias), is set to become the new Willa Ford. The talentless slutty white grrrl popstar neeeeedz to make a comeback!! Sure, that reggaeton-tinged rapper is entertaining [read as: terrifying & incoherent], but Princess Caliente's sexxxy red mop & gorg pancake face totez stealz the show.

Do you also want to be rojo caliente?! Well, you betta use your platinum card [feat. endless charge] to get some bling-bling on expensive thingz! Not rich enough? Well, just hijack a schedule a photoshoot for a magazine and pout your glazed lips and wink your druggy eyez @ the camera. SENSUAL! Oh...you're ugly AND poor [see: me]? Well then, just swindle ur way [aka sleep ur way] into the nearest club's VIP room and order grey goose & Cristal [aka Majorska & boxxxed piss] for errrbody! INSTANT ROJO CALIENTENESS!

Wow...tanx Senorita Caliente for letting me know that I too can be a dizzzzgusting money-hungry slut! Wow...she's so inspirational [aka corny as wut-wut]!