Monday, January 31, 2011

My Monday Muse

MAKE SURE YOU VOTE FOR THE 1ST MONDAY MUSE OF 2011 MONTHLY POLL EXTRAVANGANZA SHOWDOWN SPLASHDOWN FIESTA THUNDERCLAP COMPETITION SNOWPACOLYPSE...DOWN @ DA BOTTOM OF DIS HERRRRRRRRRE POST!

Asian Children

I know...y'all are probably like "WTFingSkatez?!" How can an entire nation's youth be a Monday Muse?! What makes Asian kidz better than non-Asian kidz? And for dat matter, what makez Asian kidz better than Asian adultz?!

Firstly, adultz are douchebagz, so duh chillunz win that battle. But in regards to the other question, and if we're gonna be stereotyping douchenozzlez, Asian people are better @ math, technology & orchestrial talentz than non-Asians, but if we're gon' be ethical & responsible memberz of society (I swurrr I am trying to be one), we'd instead watch deez adowable little ragamuffinz let the youth of the nation enlighten our mindz!...

The Crying Clown



Rice Milk Spokesman


Spongebob Mania


So are you (and by you I mean, any non-Asian readerz out there) feeling completely inferior yet?! You SHOULD BE! Asian chillunz are da best, and here's why:

Their devotion is unmatched. Sure, Crying Clown might have dropped his Fla-Vor-Ice on the ground or love his favo Pokémon card, but dat doesn't stop him from putting on his flashy clownsuit and nailing every goddamn dance move with chiseled excellence. Asslipz Shitzon should take some notez!

Think you're convincing? Are you a self-assured businessman with the world in the palm of yo mano?! Get bent! You're not even worthy to drank the crusted rice milk residue at the bottom of the Rice Milk Spokesman's sippy cup! What conviction! I know his strategic sales pitch has me baited & hooked to the point where I'd be able to look past the malnourished old man on the label and buy that nasty rice crap any way!

American kidz are such snobby pricks. Spoiled and whiny, I fear having kidz and then having my feelings demolished by the lookz of dissatisfaction that are sure the grace their pusses Christmas morning. Red, white & blue kidz are selfish and never happy wiff what they got. Asian kidz though? As Spongebob Mania clearly showz us, cute Asian kidz aren't just content with busted ass st00pid McDonalds toys...but they are balls-to-the-wall-shitstorm-screaming THRILLED. Damn...imagine how much their parents save on holiday presentz [feat. how much they have to then spend on earplugz].

So yeah...in conclusion, Asian children are pretty much the greatest people on Earth*.


*female popstars were not included because we all know that nuffin' trumps them!



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Who is your Monday Muse of January 2011?!
The God Warrior?
Makenzie the Beauty Queen?
Chatterboxxxing Animalz?
or
or this week's Asian Children!?


7 comments:

Tam said...

That rice milk kid is amazing. "I like the grainy texture". LOL Have to say the package model was intriguing, in a frightening way.

Asian children are adorable, even if their screeching could shatter ear drums.

Ryan said...

I don't think that I would ever continue to do choreography while crying like that. His mom must be off stage with a whip ready.

Michelle M. said...

"Naturally ricey!" I'm going to think that every time I eat rice now.

Asian kids are extremely adorable - but my vote was dark-sided.

Adam said...

I VOTED FOR EL DIABLO!

Anonymous said...

Hey, love your blog.

Ray Avito said...

Rice Milk Spokeskid had me saying "Awwww!" So cute. I had to go with the animals because Angry Seal Mom had me in hysterics.

Anonymous said...

Good post! I love the little rice milk man! The poor little crying clown - what could be the matter?! I hope he received many hugs from a soothing parent after that ordeal :(

-Cindy