Sunday, December 26, 2010

Xtinamas Home Moviez!

I hope y'all had a beautiful holiday! Mine was for def def deferishonishez relaxxxing and enjoyable. And since I am such a giver, I thought that I share with the 5 of you that still come here all of you beautiful chorizoz some HoMe MoViEs I taped during my visit to my parent's house!

No Christmas would be complete without a sexxxy, decked out (fake) Xmas tree, just how no Christmas would be complete with a demented, perverted possessed talking Santa doll! My mom has had this terrifying Santa for yearz and no matter how many times he talks, he never seemz to run outta batteriez. Pure evil, I tell you...

So after us chillunz all snuggled into our beds [read as: air mattress & couch], we drifted off into slumberville where we imagined candied laughter & sunshine kisses [aka I had a dream I was diagnosed with cancer]. My sisters Cindy, Melody [feat. fiance John] & I all awoke to discover stockings stuffed full of wonder and delight! As we began gutting the living hell out of our oversized socks, I began to entertain my lurrrved ones with my spoken-word interpretation of Ali Lohan's "Christmas Magic." Apparently, my talents go unappreciated...

Then we all opened our giftz & hugged & thanked one another & blah blah blah. We spent the rest of the day gorging the blackholes that had become our stomachs, drinking 'nog & cider and watching some of the most gawd-awful movies I've ever seen (the worst was a sequel to the dumbazz film adaptation of that artarded "Christmas Shoes" song).

As I was getting ready to bounce and make it back to my house before the blizzard (which is currently barricading me inside & will for totez ruin my life tomorrow morning when I try to get my azz up to Nueva Nueva for work!), mi madre asked if she could record a holiday wish to all of you bloggy readerz [feat. special-time shout-out to Anne Marie]. Isn't she just so dahling?!



Tam said...

Awww. Your Mom is cute. That Santa is totally freaky. Santa decorations should be seen and not heard.

I still have two more days off work. Yay for working for the government! And no blizzard, hockey game tonight. Yay! Good luck with your shoveling.

adam said...

Hahahaha I love your family (feat. grunt responses, middle fingers, and a sister that tells you to stop singing). "Ya'll suck."

john said...

Your mother is as cute as Santa Doll is creepy! I love Mel's addition to your Mom's message. She really knows how to sum it all up.

So far, the giant blizzard hasn't amounted to much here, maybe an inch or two. I'll be curious to see what we get when all is said and done.

Michelle M. said...

Santa Doll is the new talking Tina.

They made a sequel to the Christmas Shoes movie? That is horrifying.

Your mom is sweet. Your sister is awesome.

anne marie in philly said...

DAYUM! glad I stopped by to see rape master santa, the snarky sisters, the lovely xmoose tree, and YOUR MOM!

(waves to josh's mom)

happy holidays and peace to your house, soul sistah! you ROCK!

now josh, did you get sox and underoos for xmoose? ;-)

Justin said...

LOL I love the way you make the word "move" two syllables, Josh:



And that is one creeeeepy santa :)

I'm with Michelle M though -- I am stunned that they made a sequel to that horrendous, godawful movie. Though you're right -- they do churn out unbelievably bad xmas movies this time of year -- the Lifetime channel especially. And half of them aren't even filmed in the winter! Yay!

Thanks for the vids! Lots of fun :)

Merry Xmas everybody (and a Happy New Year)!!!! :)

goblinbox said...

Your mom rules. Best message EVAR.

Delisa said...

Your family is the perfect example of how there's diff kinds of love.

"Get the hell out of the way mom!" and then the middle finger from your sister, priceless!

Adorbs <3

Anonymous said...

We did have a great Christmas, creepy Santa and all!
What is it about those Lifetime channel xmas movies, they are all so bad! They just can't make a decent holiday movie anymore, not since "It's a Wonderful Life", "Christmas Story", and "Nightmare Before Christmas" (yay to Jack Skellington!)

Hey to anne marie! Hope you had a great holiday, and girl, I hope you have a rompin', stompin' New Year!!

So glad everyone enjoyed the videos. The talking Santa does remind me of talking Tina, how creepy!

To my Josh, and all his blog pals...Have a great New Years eve, eat, drink, party, rock n' roll, and above all, be safe.
Happy New Year to all!!!

Peace, Josh's mom

Chris D. said...

Cute! Thanks for sharing the videos with us. It was interesting to see behind the scenes of an authentic JoshIsTrashy Christmas.

David said...

Well I feel better knowing that the way you yell at me is the same way you yell at your mom. Now I'll feel all warm and fuzzy when tell me to get the hell out of your way.

Anonymous said...

Love all the videos and everyone else's actions & words...hate the video with me!!! I'm sleepy and barely audible, and seem like a Scrooge!

What is X-mas now without a stupid, sappy lifetime movie that we can cut down to size with sarcastic comments! Contrary to how I appear in the video, I did enjoy the holiday and had a great time being with everyone! :)