Thursday, November 25, 2010

Eat Turkey, Be Merry!

Hooray! TANXGIVERZ IS HERRE! So okay...it's not my favorite holiday (that's a tie between Christmas + Robert Downey Jr.'s birfday), but I still appreciate it for getting me away from the office and planting my ass down with mis padres and my sisters for an entire day. I got to my parent's house around 9:30 to them putting that p00r bird into the oven...


After chatterboxxxing with my parents for awhile, my one sister Cindy finally woke up right when my other sister Melody arrived at the casa de mis padres wiff her fiance John. We immediately planted our nalgaz onto the couch and proceeded to watch [read as: verbally assault every aspect of] the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade [feat. scurrrry ass floats, a bizarre Kanye West cameo & absolutely obnoxious commentary from that bitch that played Tracy Turnblad in Hairspray on broadway. Marissa Jared Winkmeyer or some shit].



Then we drank some spiked cider, chuggled down wine, and ATE ATE ATE ATE ATE the shiz outta the beautiful foodie spread that my loving parents whipped up. Seriously, my mom & dad churn out Tanxgiverz Dinna like it's nuffin'. It would legit take me prox 2 weekz to like open the cranberry sauce. I gobbled so much grub that my stomach esssssploded and I started to get drag to food hell until my family took my ass to the hospital to pump it clean. Here is a scientific X-Ray of what my stomach looked like:



Then they sucked all that comida outta me and I was sent home to eat a whole other nother serving! MMMMMMM! We ended the night playing tunez for each other via YouTube and watching Christina Aguilera bark about how grrrrreat Burlesque (I'm seeing it tomorrow!) is on Chelsea Lately.


I hope you've had a glorious holiday that was nuffin' @ all like this following video that I found online earlier today when I typed in "Thanksgiving Family Dinner"...



10 comments:

Dave2 said...

All that food simply cannot be good for your pyloric sphincter!

Tam said...

Damn you crazy Americans know how to have a good time, all your guns and turkey and punching each other. No wonder you're leaders of the free world.

Glad you had fun with your family, even if no one got shot.

adam said...

Happy Thanksgiving! It's good to see that you ate the can-shaped cranberry sauce, and not the nasty kind. How did the turkey plate taste?

Justin said...

I knew *somebody* was going to make a comment using the word "sphincter". Glad it didn't have to be me :) Oh wait ..

I had a lovely thanksgiving -- we are friends with these two blind sisters, 93 and 95, and we've been taking thanksgiving dinner down to their place for the past few years. It's always very nice and we have a lovely time :)

I definitely stuffed myself to the point of near-explosion. Turkey, stuffing, roast AND mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts and (homemade, not-from-a-can) cranberry sauce.

Then apple pie, pumpkin pie, and pecan pie with (homemade) whipped cream and maple walnut ice cream.

Then I groaned on the couch and struggled to breathe for a while.

Hope everybody else had a great Thanksgiving, too -- and that our north-of-the-border friends had a decent day at work ;-)

tornwordo said...

So many sphincters, oh my. Apparently we've got 8 if last night's rerun of Big Bang Theory is right. Gobble gobble!

Chris D. said...

Sphincter! I just had to say it.

I'm glad to hear that you had a good dinner with your family. I ended up getting a sub at QuickCheck with my Mom. Two pizza places, and a Chinese place were closed. My family will celebrate Thanksgiving on Sunday, when my sister will join us with her family.

I didn't see the parade, but I've been enjoying watching the Cool Tools marathon on the DIY channel.

anne marie in philly said...

teriyake salmon, boston market mac n cheese, wine, and crescent rolls ruled my table yesterday. I despise turkey!

(waves to josherz mom)

Michelle M. said...

We forgot the gunfight this year! Maybe for Christmas...

Wish I could have heard you guys rippin' on the Macy's parade. I bet it was hilarious.

Anonymous said...

We did have a great day honey. You know of course that nothing makes me happier than having my children with us. And we did eat well, how about those yummy snacks Melody and John brought!
Listening to you all rip up the parade always cracks me up! What was up with Santa at the end, he was just a bit too jolly, don't you think!? I think perhaps he started celebrating with some Christmas "cheer" just prior to the parade!

Love you, mom

anne marie, the teriyaki salmon sounds delicious, what a nice change from the traditional turkey.

Anonymous said...

Oh Josh, I so much enjoyed listening to the songs on youtube with you on Thanksgiving evening. I love how we have respect for and appreciate and enjoy each others favorite songs and musicians. We'll have to do that again soon!

Love, mom