Sunday, October 24, 2010

My Monday Muse

[Okay, so it's the last Monday of the month, which as you all know meanz that it's time to vote for the Monday Muse of October. Blah blah...scroll to the bottom and pick your favorite!

In other newz, dis week's muse is going to be the last new Monday Muse of the year. (Wait...calm your shit down...don't fret and get those dirrty-azz panties out of a knot!) That's cuz it's time to start voting for the Monday Muse of 2010!!!!! Who will follow in the footsteps of last year's glorious throne-holder, Steven the Beautiful?! Check back nexxxt week to start the first round o' voting!]

Nachos, the Cross Eyed Cat

I've never had to go to court. Never for jury duty (fingaz crossed!) and never for any condemnable axxxtionz of my own. There was that car accident that I got unfairly blamed for and I pondered over fighting the ticket, but once I started getting all those propositioning legal aid pamphlets in the mail, I retracted such consideration and just paid the fine off. Fuck dat shiz...

However, if I had dis week's Monday Muse as mah attorney, you know I wouldn't be scared out effing freckle about losing mah case! Just watch:

So what did we learn today about the judicial system of deez Estados Unidos?! We learned that getting in trouble is a major bummer and to avoid anyone cramping your style or laming up your life, you best down a pizza, put on some cool CDz and high-five a guitar legend [feat. shrevident sound effects] before detaching your fucking head and DANCING!

They may seem like stone-cold douchenozzlez [not including the goddess Judge Judy], but judgez really do have quite an appreciate for sexxxual pole-dancing. So if you ever find yourself in a legal jam, just slather up the nearest metal rod wiff some bedazzled Vaseline and run your shiz up and down that thing until they release you of all chargez.

And if all else fails, you can always just bend over and use your tittayz like a broom. Actually, I think you should do that right from the get-go, cuz this place is a DISASTER and I do have some peepz come ova for a birthday pizza party...don't worry, Jeebuz approvez.


Who is your Monday Muse of October 2010?!

The Dirrty Little Mermaid?
Dusty Gozongaz?
The "Y U No" Guy?
or this week's Nachos the Cross Eyed Cat!?


Laura said...

Yes. That's why I'm in law school. All of those things. except for the saggy titties. I'm not about those.

Tam said...

I had to go for the Little Mermaid since it was so well done. However I really want to hear "Overruled dude!" in a Law and Order show, just once.

john said...

Pop'nlockness Monster was genius, but I had to vote for Little Mermaid for the month.

Dave2 said...

Wait a second... they don't have dancing poles in court! I think this video is misleading you there, Josh...

P.S. My Word Verification today is "comacker" which sounds dirty to me for some reason. Tell your blog to stop being so nasty!

Ryan said...

Sweeping the floor was a bit disturbing.

I had to vote for Dirty Mermaid. I can't let that level of cleverness go unrewarded.

hoteltuesday said...

That woman crooning those lyrics to the Little Mermaid is not a good singer, but I have a special section of my heart devoted to anything related to The Little Mermaid, so it wins!

anne marie in philly said...

"dirrty-azz panties" - you assume we WEAR dirrty-azz panties!

(cause some of us like the commando style, dont'cha know)

Michelle M. said...

Little Mermaid.

And all this time I've been using a Swiffer.

Naughty said...


The plot of Cool Court would be crystal clear if it weren't for the plant stand. The plant stand completely throws off the plot mojo.

For this reason, I vote Mermaid.