Sunday, September 19, 2010

This wind blowing in just came from the ocean.

Nueva York & its residents have a lot of shiz to deal wiff. High crime, pollution, terrorism, bed bugz, over-sized marshmallow men, hurricanez, rude people, having their asses killed via high-budget Hollywood disaster flicks (and within the year, ME living there!)...New York doesn't seem to get much of a break. That's why I have to take a moment to flip the bird 3 times up @ Mother Nature's st00pid puss for forcing NYC to have to deal with sumfing it usually never has to worry over: TORNADOES.

Last week, while on one of the upper levelz of the office building I work at in Brooklez, the sky became overcast and it started raining gatoz y perroz. Within five minutez, a co-worker ushered us all to a large window in her office and we watched in awe in utter fucking horror as a huge storm front started blanketing Brooklyn in misery cloudz!

The windowz began to shake violently and then God began to chuck baseballz of ice down on top of us. We all cowered under our deskz and counted our blessingz [read as: shrugged our shoulderz and went back to work]. Then just 15 minutez after it began, the storm ended. I didn't find out till later that a goddamn tornado touched down in Brooklyn, destroying property ripping up treez & even killing one person!

When I was younger, I was obsessed but absolutely traumitzed by the movie Twister and I would relentlessly badger my sister Melody (who shared a room with me) whenever a storm would hit, thinking for sure I would get my azz sucked up into a cyclone. I'm still of a nervous mental state when it comez to that shit, so I beg of you, douchebitch Mother Nature, keep that crap in the midwest where it belongz. Geeeebz!

Want to see the aftermath of the storm?! Crazy shit...check out deez fotographiaz of all the damage. Have any of you bloggy readerz come face-to-face with a twister? Was it the scariest moment of your life?! Share your trauma with us!


Tam said...

Wow, that's freaky. Not that close but a few years ago I was in Manitoba, at a rode of all things, and we look up over the announcer booth and off in the distance we see a funnel cloud form and go down and touch the ground and then back up. It did touch down in a garbage dump (of all places) about 20 miles away.

Also a few years ago on the Quebec side of the river here one touched down and trashed 4 or 5 houses, I don't think anyone was hurt.

But I've never been so close as to be scared. Living where we do we just have to worry about snow storms and you know they are coming in advance so it's not like a snow storm will destroy your house. Usually.

adam said...

Scariest weather I ever saw was during a big flood in NJ, like 15 years ago. We lived at the top of a hill, and the stream at the bottom turned into a rage'n river. It was windy as shit and when i went to have a look, I realized that all the big trees in our yard were prob going to come toppling down on me ... so I went back inside.

Don't worry, you can always just tie yourself to a metal pipe (like the lame-o ending of Twister) and you'll be fine. I <3 Ghostbusters!!

Anonymous said...

Hey honey, I remember well your fasination, and fear of tornadoes. I also remember that you painted a tornado on the tile that now is permenently on the wall of the main hallway of Hopewell Elementary School!

Here's my story of the closest I ever came to a tornado scare...
I was living in Florida, and your sister, Cindy, was about a year old. I was at work, and Cindy was at the babysitter's as usual this one day. There were reports of strong thunderstorms going through the area, with possible tornadoes with them. Well, sure enough, the storms hit, and hard, and I was so scared about all that tornado talk, I kept looking out the windows. Then a mother's nightmare happened. We got a report that a tornado had touched down, and tore through an elementary school,injuring children, killing a teacher, tearing the roof off the school, etc. What caused the panic in me was when I found out that this was the school that was just 2 blocks away from Cindy's babysitters house! I was so very scared dialing her phone #, I was shaking. Imagine my relief when she picked up the phone and said that they felt the effects, but the tornado did not strike them.

I don't know how those people can live in the midwest with threats of tornadoes all the time. Not me!!
Yes Josh, I always knew that stormchasing in Kansas is not on your list of "things I most want to do in my life"!

Love, mom

anne marie in philly said...

never have experienced one and I hope I never do!

Mel said...

I spent my formative years living in heavily tornado-prone areas. When I was in high school we even had one pass very close to our house, which was very skeery. Still, you kind of got used to it, and just hoped you didn't end up in Oz. Or impaled on a piece of straw. I still love me a good thunderstorm.

john said...

We had a tornado in RI about 10 years ago. The scariest moment was the drive home from one of my brother's weddings.It was during a blizzard. I totally lost the road at one point as the conditions were a true whiteout. Luckily the road was fairly straight, so I just took my foot off the gas and just slowed down. We made it home safely, but there were plenty of white knuckle moments.

Michelle M. said...

I lived in Colorado for a few years and we had a couple tornado scares. In California it's earthquakes. But my mother is the scariest force of nature ever.

David said...

When I was a wee tyke living for two brief years in Illinois, just outside of Chicago, we had a tornado warning and my mom, sister and I had to go sit in the basement with a radio and flashlights (and chocolate pudding, mmm) and wait until we heard the all clear.

Many years later, in the early 90's, I was doing summer stock on Cape Cod when Hurricane Bob blew through. Not a tornado, but just as bad. Trees down, power out, tons of damage. It was intense. And kind of cool at the same time.

Chris D, said...

Good wishes on your impending move to NYC.

I have heard stories of small tornadoes happening near me in NJ. Fortunately they are very rare, and tend to be minor. I think a bigger worry is just wind damage in general during a storm. I can't remember a time when a bad storm actually made me nervous, since I was a kid. I feel pretty safe during storms, both at home and at work. I think lots of really close lightening might make me nervous, but have not experienced that in a while.

that's J-O-S-H said...

Tam: Did it fling shetty pantiez, rotting food & broken appliancez all over the place?!

Adam: Right? That flimsy rusting pipe should keep me illogically grounded during a F5 super tornado. I always thought it would be funny if you get this far in the movie, just to have the pipe break at the end and have Helen Hunt & that guy get sucked away and killed. ::DEAD:: THE END.

MoM: When I randomly visited the elementary school like 4 yearz ago, I was walking through one of the new editionz, and all of those tilez we painted were added to the wall. I FOUND MY TORNADO TILE! I was a really strange child.

Mel: I don't know how you ever slept! I would have stayed awake every night in fear of twistaz! Fuck that yellow brick road shit. Fuck it hard.

John: IN RHODE ISLAND TOO?! Why is nature so unpredictable and terrifying! Oh, and you just gave me another point to add to my list of 41,273 reasonz why I despise driving.

Michelle: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. On the east coast we just get hurricanez. And Cloverfield monsters.

Dahvid: CHOCO PUDDING?! What a derrrriciouz disaster!

Chris D: Lightning makez me made nervoso since I live in the woodz and we've had several close callz wiff treez falling onto our headz. Before I moved in, an old barn in the backyard actually burned down cuz it was zapped. SCARY!

search engine placement said...

I think the biggest concern is windstorm damage in general. I do not remember a time when strong storm Really Got Me nervous because I was a child.

Anonymous said...

Melody and I were very close to a tornado one year when one touched down on Rt. 1. We were driving towards Mercer Mall, the sky had really dark storm clouds, but everything was silent, not even a breeze. Then, all of a sudden, it was like someone flipped a switch; wind, tree branches blowing everywhere, and the noise, the rain!

I was, and I'm sure Melody too, never so scared! I didn't know whether or not to pull over and risk being hit by one of the tree branches or to keep driving. We eventually parked in a parking lot and waited it out. It was only like 10-15 minutes, but it seemed to go on forever!


Dog beds said...

I realized that all the big trees in the yard have been proposed to turn on me ... then went back inside.