Monday, September 27, 2010

My Monday Muse

[September is as a whole, everyone's least favorite month. Skool startz, the sun goez away and we all start to worry about going bankrupt during the impending moneysuck holiday trio of Helloween, Tanxgiverz & Xtinamas. So the battle of The Monday Muse of September 2010 is a very heated one. Scroll to the bottom of dis herre entry and vote for the Muse that helped you survive the stinkin' donkey pile that is the month of September.]

Birthday Pizza Party!!

Yeah, yeah. You see the picture above and the name of dis week's muse, and you're probz all like "how is a pizza party Monday Muse-worthy?!" And I understand completely.


I mean, growing up, it's almost mandatory to have at least one fiesta wiff some of your bestest school budz where you stay up till 10PM (totez past your bedtime), eating ice cream and pizza and watching sCaRy moviez [read as: tame shit like The Sixth Sense] or PsUedO-NauGHtEeE comediez [read as: st00pid shit like Austin Powers: International Douchebag of WhoGivezaFuck].


Then your friendz would give you cheap junk from their closet as a present and you would not even care cuz OmFGAwD Mom just walked in wiff a tray of rootbeer floats!!! ::happiness esssplosion::


I had mah obligatory birfday shindig at a Romp-a-Round, which is basically like Chuck E. Cheese only you don't get mugged/killed if you give someone the stink-eye. I remember chasing my friendz through slidez and ball pits and mazez. It was a blast until I ran head-first into a padded pole (though not padded enough) and knocked my dumbazz out.


Aaaah. Those were the days. But I've become distracted. Though we all think we know the ins & outz of childhood birfday celebrations, we really need to chut our gobz, and take a gander @ a REAL pizza party...




I am designing mah 25th birthday hoedown, color-by-numberz, by dis herre crazzziness! Dis clip from Mary-Kate & Ashley's Insane Hallucinogenic Birthday Fuckery is more or less a guide to planning the purrrfect annual celebration of the day you rocketed outta your mother and blessed the world with your nalgaz.


The 10 thingz you neeeeeeeed, if you want your nexxxt birthday party to not suck:


1. Enough frosting flowerz to induce a diabetic coma.


2. Menacing background chant anthemz.


3. An abused slave dawg.


4. An icebox large enough to hold every possible food in the entire world.


5. The three ugliest grrrlz that go to your skool.


6. Racism = black chica + fried chicken


7. The spelling skills of a 2nd grader to spell out PIZZA repeatedly (sorry, Fantasia).


8. Whipped cream pouring like waterfallz.


9. Some sicko rando shiz [i.e. a whole fish, chicken tongue and human eyeballs].


10. Chocolate sauce [feat. spreading it slooooooooow].


Make sure all this chaos is @ your birthday party and you will be sure to have the single greatest fiesta de cumpleaƱos of all time. Those Sweet Sixteen whorez won't have an ice cube's chance in hell in besting your jubilee!


----------------------

Who is your Monday Muse of September 2010?!

Missy the Cat?
AbLisa?
The Toilet Tiger Family?
or
or this week's Birthday Pizza Party!!?


14 comments:

Ryan said...

I have to go with Missy the Cat.

Justin said...

The most terrifying thing about this Muse is that I doubt very much that the original, non-chant version of this Olsen Twins horror was any less scary ... I swear if they had bugged their eyes out any more they would have popped onto the pizza ...

Dave2 said...

Oh sure... how am I supposed to get to sleep after THAT?!?

I too will have to go with Missy The Kitteh.

Justin said...

This is a tough one. At first I thought I had to go with AbLisa. Then I almost pulled the trigger on this one. But I had missed Missy before (yeah -- ha ha) and now that I've read it I have to agree with Ryan and Dave2. Missy it is :)

anne marie in philly said...

I voted for the tigerz.

frosting flowers RULE...there can NEVER be enough of them in that sickening sweet sugar icing that rots your esophagus allllllll the way down to your tummy.

PS - word is "acheat"; I am NOT one, hope you are not also!

Naughty said...

Sweetie,

Missy for President

Michelle M. said...

Missy.

madtexter (corey james) said...

I like the hallucinocrazzio pizza birthday party, but the Toilet Tiger Famz was completly bizzaroly delishurz.

Anonymous said...

It was a toss up between Missy and Toilet Tiger at first, but in the end, Missy won!
I remember the Romp Around party very well, including when you ran into the pole (not one of your happiest momments, poor sweetie!)

Love, mom

john said...

That video was completely disturbing. I'm going to have nightmares about gnomish twins now.

xannon said...

I like the hallucinocrazzio pizza birthday party, but the Toilet Tiger Famz was completly bizzaroly delishurz.
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hoteltuesday said...

Who owns my heart? Is it Missy or is it AbLisa???

seo packages said...

I almost pulled the trigger on this one. But I had missed Missy before (yeah -- ha ha) and now that I've read it I have to agree with Ryan and Dave2.

seo services in delhi said...

Good one I've read it I have to agree with Ryan and Dave2. Missy it is