Yeah, yeah. You see the picture above and the name of dis week's muse, and you're probz all like "how is a pizza party Monday Muse-worthy?!" And I understand completely.
I mean, growing up, it's almost mandatory to have at least one fiesta wiff some of your bestest school budz where you stay up till 10PM (totez past your bedtime), eating ice cream and pizza and watching sCaRy moviez [read as: tame shit like The Sixth Sense] or PsUedO-NauGHtEeE comediez [read as: st00pid shit like Austin Powers: International Douchebag of WhoGivezaFuck].
Then your friendz would give you cheap junk from their closet as a present and you would not even care cuz OmFGAwD Mom just walked in wiff a tray of rootbeer floats!!! ::happiness esssplosion::
I had mah obligatory birfday shindig at a Romp-a-Round, which is basically like Chuck E. Cheese only you don't get mugged/killed if you give someone the stink-eye. I remember chasing my friendz through slidez and ball pits and mazez. It was a blast until I ran head-first into a padded pole (though not padded enough) and knocked my dumbazz out.
Aaaah. Those were the days. But I've become distracted. Though we all think we know the ins & outz of childhood birfday celebrations, we really need to chut our gobz, and take a gander @ a REAL pizza party...
I am designing mah 25th birthday hoedown, color-by-numberz, by dis herre crazzziness! Dis clip from Mary-Kate & Ashley's Insane Hallucinogenic Birthday Fuckery is more or less a guide to planning the purrrfect annual celebration of the day you rocketed outta your mother and blessed the world with your nalgaz.
The 10 thingz you neeeeeeeed, if you want your nexxxt birthday party to not suck:
1. Enough frosting flowerz to induce a diabetic coma.
2. Menacing background chant anthemz.
3. An abused slave dawg.
4. An icebox large enough to hold every possible food in the entire world.
5. The three ugliest grrrlz that go to your skool.
6. Racism = black chica + fried chicken
7. The spelling skills of a 2nd grader to spell out PIZZA repeatedly (sorry, Fantasia).
8. Whipped cream pouring like waterfallz.
9. Some sicko rando shiz [i.e. a whole fish, chicken tongue and human eyeballs].
10. Chocolate sauce [feat. spreading it slooooooooow].
Make sure all this chaos is @ your birthday party and you will be sure to have the single greatest fiesta de cumpleaños of all time. Those Sweet Sixteen whorez won't have an ice cube's chance in hell in besting your jubilee!
Who is your Monday Muse of September 2010?!
Missy the Cat?
The Toilet Tiger Family?
or this week's Birthday Pizza Party!!?