Monday, September 6, 2010

My Monday Muse


Missy the Cat

You know, today I'm feelin' a little outta control. For the first time since I snorted dis blog outta my brain, I'm going to make this week's Monday Muse not the usually inspirational [read as: absurdly st00pid] video. Yes, you will have to do some reading...QUIT YO BITCHINZ'. If you click photo below, you will learn about an exxxtra special feline; a cat that launched the greatest email thread the world has ever seen. Lemme hear your clickity click click clicks...


When I was a little sprout, I had a cat that looked a lot like Missy, and he too ran away (OoOoHh WhY dId I LeAvE tHE DoOoOoOOr oPeN?!!). I tried to make posterz to hang around town, but to avoid me embarrassing the entire family, mis padres didn't let me post my crappy cry for help anywhere other than the refridgerator door.

My gato, Spot, never did come back to us and I largely blame the fact that email wasn't mainstream & popular yet and that I couldn't cyberstalk a designer to make rescue posterz for me! I'm sure if this d00d had been around, I would've been reunited con Spot and we could get back on the track we were before of overfeeding him to death.

I don't get why Ms. CrankyPants CatOwner wasn't please with the designer's creationz. If I could have had Spot's puss pasted all over town like a movie poster, I know peepz would see it and become confused and thus ignore it start a rally to find mah precious kitty!

And WTF @ her scoffing over the $2,000 reward! Bitch, if you really loved your cat (cuz I'm sure it's her only amigo in the entire world), you'd shell out the dough and throw in a lapdance as a special bonus to Enrique Igelsias the hero that found it for you!

For serial, the designer had the key to your cat's safety, and you quibble over money/design/the wrong cat being on the poster. UN. GRATE. FUL.

12 comments:

Ryan said...

I love David Thorne. He proves that the person who is the most insane wins the argument.

Tam said...

I do like cats and mine have gone missing for periods of time and I was worried but David is brilliant. Why couldn't she make her own damn poster? Lazy.

hoteltuesday said...

LOVE IT. The end was so good!!

"I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?"

Anonymous said...

Oh how sad I was when Spot was missing, and then never returned. I remember going all through those woods and the park behind our apartment, over and over, calling him. Josh, I agree that a movie type poster would really get peoples attention, David is right on!

Love, mom

David said...

I think the red hat is the perfect touch.

Laura said...

oh. my. god. I'm dying. I laughed so hard I'm trying. When my professor calls on me tomorrow in class I'm just going to read and ignore his questions. "I would name it Steven"

Naughty said...

Sweetie,

Brilliant. I laughed like a hyena.

Thank you!

john said...

"As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this."

Comedy gold. Poor Missy, I hope she found a better owner.

callonmevalerie said...

I was first sent this when I was at work, ignoring tables and checking my phone in a side station, and I almost fucking peed myself at work (which would have been uncomfortable to explain).

"I don't come down and tell you how to send text messages, check Facebook and stare out the window" hahahaahhahahaahahahahha

I also saw a missing cat poster a couple weeks ago in South Boston and almost lost my shit, because the cat looked like Missy and I prayed some asshole out there put it up as a joke to make me laugh.

Nathan V said...

That website is amazing. Thanks so much Josherz

seo firm said...

I laughed so hard that I do. When my teacher asks me tomorrow in class, I just read and ignore his question.

Ray Avito said...

I don't think I've read anything this hilarious in some time. Definitely deserving of a MM Top Two finish.