Saturday, August 28, 2010

To tell you the truth, I'm always waiting.

New music, movies, books...so many cosas nuevaz have been infiltrating mah life as of late!

I'm a pop culture junkie. You know dis. I know dis. The entire mundo knowz dis. And it's because of this that, as I have mentioned earlier, I like to keep up to date on all of mah favo stars' going-onz and be fully learned in all of their upcoming activities. So therefor, it should be no surprise that dis past Tuesday I was foaming @ the mouf for one reason & one reason only...


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of mah EVERYONE'S favo popstarz, Katy Perry, decided to bless the world wiff another fantastico batch of pop music euphoria and release her new disc Teenage Dream. I have been waiting (and stowing away a Best Buy Reward Zone coupon!) for months for this glorious day of release and when it finally came, I pretty much was an exciterbiking nervous wreck!

Everyone in the world knowz how great "California Gurls" is and with her new single "Teenage Dream" already the #3 song in America after just four weeks, this is truly the summer of K. Perry. I think we all owe her a collective round o' applause to thank her for making our livez so much better!

But anyway, after work on Tuesday, I screamed like a blood-thirsty lunatic all the day to the Best Buy in Manhattan to purchase the album. When I got there, I was happy to see that the store had rightly so anticipated big opening day numberz:

(and she's stocked in good company too!)

Good thing too! While I stood in front of the albums, holding a copy and savoring this much-anticpated climatic moment of mah life (also in an attempt to lure any passerbys to check out the album), three different d00dz came up and took a copy! Yay! And even better, the disco compacto was only $7.99! FUCK YES. There was also a deluxe version that came with a pair of boxxxer shorts, but since I HATE boxers, I passed.

Since the one album was under the $10 amount of mah coupon, I also picked up a copy of Florence + the Machine's album, Lungs (it came highly recommended). That album was only like $10...so let's do the hateful math, shall we?:


Both albumz are amazing and Katy's actually smells like cotton candy [read as: like sickeningly sweet Smarties]! I already know that they are destined to become two of mah top favz of the year and that I will want Katy's "Hummingbird Heartbeat" to play @ mah wedding while Florence + the Machine's "Dog Days Are Over" will play @ mah funeral.

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But it wasn't just Miz Katy's new album that I've been anxiously anticipating! I grew up with two sisterz y una madre who were absolutely OBSESSED wiff all things Stephen King. I don't think there is a word that man has written that at least one of my family memberz haven't read. And while my illiterate azz has never really delved into King's literary abyss, I have been exxxposed to all the peliculaz based off of his werdingz!

It gang-raped my life with fear, The Shining forever damaged my psyche, The Stand made me perpetually anticipate the apocalypse while Cujo made me weary of dawgz and Firestarter scarred me with an unwavering distrust of Drew Barrywhore.

But one of his short storiez/bookz, The Mist was given the big screen adaptation and though the trailerz were clever and the leading guy was a sexxxerskate pepaw, I never saw it in theatres! I'm such a dumbo!


So I decided to get in on Netflix, but since it took me prox 561 months to finish every episode of Daria, I didn't receive The Mist until last week. Just to toy con mi emotions, the last person to have the disc decided to Etch-a-Sketch some cartoons into the DVD, forcing me to return it and await another. But FINALLY, last week, a functioning disc was grandslammed into my mailbox.

And WHAT. THE FUCK??? For serial, WTF?!? Anyone who has witnessed the film knowz exactly why my heart and brain both simultaneously seized and crumbled into a depressing pile of dustz. It's about a mist (durhz) that covers a town and a bunch of peepz are trapped in a grocery store while some crazzzy shit happens outside. The movie starts out a horror thriller and turnz into a modern day adaptation of Lord of the Flies...blah blah blah...but what happenz just 10 minutes after diz photo...


...basically suckerpunched my stomach so hard that I was gapping-jawed staring at the TV. The last shred of hope for humanity that laid cowering in my cerebrum fucking packed his bagz and peaced the shit out of my skull.

Depresso espresso mania. Watch @ your own effing risk.

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But I don't spend all of my time rotting my brain with pop music's sugary sweetness or pumping my mind wiff terrifying depictions of apocalyptic destruction. Sometimes I read! For the past two yearz, every time I perused Barnes and/or Noble, I'd see the following book sitting out on the "notable releaserz" table...

The cover captured my heart, as did the blatantly confessional title! I LURRRVE simplicity, and if I ever become talented and write a book, I'm totez stealing dis cover and using the same font and same fun citrus color.

Anyway, I've seen this book a bajillion timez in the past but since I am the stingiest person alive and am constantly in fear of losing all mah $$ and being homeless, I never bought it. But last week I remembered that Chris D. was generous enough to launch a B&N gift card in my direction for mah birfday earlier this year! So needless to say, I purchased the book and finally held it's poetic prose and melancholy humor in my mittz @ long last!

I totez think that Miranda July (best name ever?) & her short stories could very well weasel their way into a creative writing syllabus as an example of modern day short story construction. Sad, but funny. Moving, but not exhausting. Her stories frolic down a thin line of emotion that never becomes lackluster nor overbearing. They're just right! Plus, look how devastatingly artistic (read as: Brooklyn hipsterish) she looks in her author pic:


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What about YOU folkz? Has there ever been an album, movie, book, video game, sporting event, lecture, rectal exam, etc. that you waited & waited & WAITED for? How effing awesomecopterz was it when you finally got it?!

10 comments:

Dave2 said...

The only time I remember that kind of waiting was for "Return of the Jedi" after the mind-blowing awesomeness of "The Empire Strikes Back." The movie ended in a cliffhanger, and everybody had to wait THREE YEARS to see how it all turned out.

Of course, Lucas took a shit all over "Return of the Jedi" and disrespected the sci-fi genius of "The Empire Strikes Back" with his stupid-ass teddy bear Ewoks and childish burp and fart jokes... so the wait wasn't entirely worth it, but still. Longest wait with the most anticipation ever.

Michelle M. said...

The Mist was great - and had a satisfying ending (I feel like most of King's novels fall apart at the end). Of course, it wasn't his ending, so maybe that's why it was so good.

Miranda July wrote and stars in the movie, Me and You and Everyone We Know. I remember liking it.

Thanks for not making me do math.

I have been waiting and waiting and WAITING for the joshrio cd.

Tam said...

The only book I kind of got hyped up for (not counting Harry Potter books) was a PNR called Acheron by Sherilyn Kenyon. I read it in about a day, all 800+ pages.

Was it worth the wait? Meh. The first half was his history and since I was new to the author and this book came about halfway through the series (book 10 or 11), I had read the other 10 books books in the 4 weeks leading up and I would swear parts were taken verbatim from other books. Of course if you followed the books from the beginning over a 3 or 4 year period you probably wouldn't notice that, but because I'd read them all so soon before I saw the similarities. It's easy to write 800 pages if a bunch of it is just lifted from books you already wrote. The second half was good, but on the whole I was kind of meh about it.

So not a great experience for me.

Laura said...

What's not to love about baby Drew Barrymore setting things on fire WITH HER MIND. love it!

David said...

Big anticipation was involved when I saw "Angels in America: Millenium Approaches" on Broadway (which ends with a cliff-hanger of sorts) and had to wait 6 months for the second part, "Perestroika," to arrive.

Chris D. said...

I don't think I have ever eagerly waited for a new release book, movie, or album. I don't follow new releases at all, so usually I find most of the books, movies and albums that I enjoy well after they have been released. Instant gratification, yay!

However, I have eagerly waited for tech gadgets (mostly still and video cameras) to be released. Thankfully I have mostly reigned in my techno-lust. These days I like to wait and see how early adopters like things.

I am glad you could make use of the gift certificate. :)

that's J-O-S-H said...

Dave2: Would you hate me if I told you that the only Star Wars movie I ever saw was Episode II in theatrez because a bunch of us desperato high school loserz were going on a quadruple date together and thought it would impress our non-grrrlfriendz (?!?) to take them to see some crappy nerd flick that we barely understood?

Michelle: That Miranda July movie is in mah Netflix cue! I didn't realize she starred in it...I bet she has a tragically sensitive voice that is cut wiff just the right amount of dry wit to make her seem a teeny bit devilish. Can't wait to get it!

Tam: Gettin' pumped up about sumfing, just to be mildly dizzypointed with it is such a letdown [see: Christina Aguilera's "Bionic."]

Laura: I hate how her padre would push on his temples till he bled out the nariz! Freaked me out and till this very day, I NEVER lean on that part of mah head!

PastelNeonCake: Parasitetopia?! What the hell kinda name is that! You never blabbered on about dis before...and I thought you told me EVERYTHING you were interested in! ::runz away neglected and/or confused::

Chris D.: Tanx for the tarjeta de regalo! Nexxxt time a fancy, expensive & new device comez out [ie computer, MP3 player, camera, car, watch, robot servant], be sure to pick up two so I can relate your excitement too!

hoteltuesday said...

Miranda July looks awesome!
I waited SO LONG for Precious and watched the trailer every day!!!

Sexy Trash said...

I'm nervous to see "The Mist."

...More so after your post on it.

Also, I bought Teenage Dream... ON I TUNES. So there is no cotton candy sniffing for me. So pissed.

Anonymous said...

I could not WAIT to see the movies "The Exorcist" or "Jaws". Both were advertised so much on T.V. back when they were first released. Also The Beatles "White" album... I wanted that album more then I wanted to breath air, and after FINALLY being released, I still couldn't get it for the longest time cause it was sold out everywhere!!
Josh, can you believe that being the HUGE Stephen King fan that I am I haven't seen The Mist?! I did read the story a long time ago, and it is excellent. I don't know how I missed it, but you can believe I'm going to get it very soon now that you reminded me of it!
Love, mom