Monday, August 9, 2010

My Monday Muse


Music critics snobz around the world constantly feel obligated to diarrhea dump all ova modern day popular music, claiming a lack of talent and artistic vision in musicians of today. Whenever I overhear some peepz ripping on modern day pop starlet visionaries like Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera & Whitney Houston Ke$ha, Britney Spears & JoJo, I automatically roll my eyez till they pop outta my head and explode in a glittery fire of frustrated annoyance. To hate on the dancytime divas of mah generation is to hate on fun, happiness, youth, love, Jeebuz, the world, cute baby animals and everything else that is beautiful and elegant in the world.

And that's why I am using this week's Monday Muse to highlight what really makes modern day music so addictive: Unwavering determination Strong vocal chords Great production value AUTO-TUNE! Check out these prime examples of auto-tune gone GOOD:

Charlie Bit Me (That Really Hurt Showdown Fiesta Mix)

Sure...Charlie Bit Me took da interwebz by storm and kept the world [read as: my friends and I] fully entertained for months and months! But the only thing better than adorable chillunz and their equally delightful antix is...anything AN AUTO-TUNED REMIX! Watch your pubertyless ass, Justin Bieber, these kidz got their sights on you.

Billy Mays Here! (Candlelight Ballad Remix) [feat. Scatman]

Remember how hard we all cried when Billy Mays ascended to the great pointless infomercial in the sky? I know that I didn't leave my house for weeks (or minutes)! But now, through the magic of YouTube y Auto-Tune, Mr. Mays will forever remain firmly implanted in our psyches.

Bed Intruder Song

So I know dis is probz old news by now (geebz...the interwebbing world is eVeR-ChAnGinG!), but I thought I'd enlighten the few of you who have yet to experience the glory of the one & only Antoine Dodson. Mr. Dodson saved his sista from being forcibly entered by a garbage can-climbin' thug and thus became the greatest person to ever exist or sumfing. I tink that wiff just this one track, Antoine has single-handedly murdered the careers of heavy-hitter male R&B heavyweights T-Pain, Ne-Yo, Chris Brown, Soulja Boy Tell'Em & Fergie. God bless ya, sir. Yes, I will run and tell that.


goblinbox said...

Autotune is evil. Hilarious, but evil. If you need it, you're a sucky musician. Period.

In my extensive studio career (of four albums total) I've only been pitch-corrected one time! Booyah!


Wait. What were you saying?

Michelle M. said...

I wish someone would autotune my life.

The Charlie one is adoooorable.

john said...

I blame that damn Cher song for the rise of autotune. I will admit, I have heard songs that have auto tune where it is used judiciously and actually sounds good, but most times it sounds robotic and awful.

The Charlie Bit Me mix, however, was genius! I also have to admit, the Bed Intruder Song video was pretty funny.

Good to have you back Josh.

Tam said...

Ah Billy Mays. Who doesn't love a man passionate about cleaning products.

I don't mind autotune, the kid thinks it's too electronic but it seems to work for me.

Ryan said...

I don't mind Autotune as a musical effect, but it bugs me when it is used to make someone sound better but fails (I'm looking at you Jane Lynch doing Physical).

The Charlie Bit Me Remix is really done well. It feels like an actual song even though they don't have enough words to work with to entirely flesh it out.

Bed Intruder is a bit bizarre because it provides no context. When I first saw it, it seemed like a man on the street interview with the reporter losing control. Your blurb below the video makes things actually make sense.

Mel said...

Auto-Tune is kind of like almond extract. A tiny bit used judiciously can enhance, but too much just whacks you upside the head and gives you a migraine.

that's J-O-S-H said...

GoblinBox: Um...okay?

Michelle: I wish constant vocal runs to feel the boring voids on mah everyday life.

John: I think the robot sound can be cooool! But then again, I LURRRVE musicians wiff perfect pitch that never need to rely on electronic assistance [see: Michelle Branch].

Tam: Sure, it's electronic, but there is a time and place for it in the music world, and when used smartly, it can be a lot of fun!

Ryan: BINGO! AutoTune is kinda lame when peepz use it to legit fix their voices, but when it's blatantly used as a way to sound computerized and shit [aka nearly everything Ke$ha does], I find it funky and cool!

Mel: HOLY FUDGE! I LOOOOOOOOOOVE almond extract y almond paste. MMMMMMMM. Seriously...put a shot of it in banana milkshakes and I just might give the culinary master a lapdance [read as: would promise a lapdance and then runaway after drinking it].

Ryan said...

I just realized that Justin could do a Puntabulous pool party music video. It looked like he had enough raw footage.

tornwordo said...

LOL I looked up Justin Beiber and still don't know who he is, plus he's Canerdian. The Charlie one is so cute.

Polt said...

Autotune is one of the seven signs of the Apocoplypse. Although truly, the Charlie one did have me smiling.

And I think, from now on, I shall not leave my house unless I have my afro swept back from my head and tied up with a red bandana. Cause that look really rocks, and is not in any way, so dumb, so dumb, so dum-dum-dum-dumb.


Naughty said...


Naughty had never heard of auto tune. See how you educate peeps? These were quite entertaining. My fave was bed intruder.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE ANTOINE DODSON!!! AND JOSH! i hear we're going dancing on saturday! whoop!

<3 christie

goblinbox said...

I mean auto tune the function (pitch correcting), not Autotune The News.

Autotune The News fuckin' rawk.

Dave2 said...

I want an Auto-Tune speaker hat that I can wear to Auto-Tune everything I say all day long.