Monday, July 19, 2010

My Monday Muse

Jiz
I suffer from having little to no self-confidence. I mean, sure, I'll be sassy and bluntly rude playful to peepz ova the interwebz, but when someone comez @ me wiff mean-spirited rebuttal, I literally fall to piecez and cry for one hundred yearz. That's why I view dis herre Monday Muse is not only an endless source of light-hearted entertainment, but as a foundation for how I want to better myself. Be nasty strong. Be truly, truly fucking contagious confident. Be...Jiz...




DRAG QUEENZ INSANE! could very well be the greatest name for a band ever. I'm gonna copywrite that shit before Lady GaGogglez stealz it and makez it not cool anymore.


But oh shit...I can't get distracted. The real point of dis entry is to highlight the elegant and permanently stained flawless beauty of Jiz! She dryhumps countless life lessons into our brain swirlz and for that, we should all be eternally grateful! Look @ all the important info you have been hand-delivered:

Nexxx time you reek of tuna (you little lezzie!), just pay your brother $300 and he'll shat away all your problemaz. Remember, your family will only care about you if money is involved.


Nexxxt time you want to kill yourself (cuz you wish you were dead), just punt off your shetty panties and dance with tears in your eyes DANCE TO DEATH! Remember, soiled linen is no exxxcuse to evacuate the dancefloor!

Nexxxt time some cheeky bitch tries to front on your shiz and force drugz down your gob, you look her right in her cabbage patch eyez, demand a trabajo de mano and force her to pose @ your command. Remember, you must take control of all situationz!

Nexxxt time you want to ruin your life and keep your unborn undeveloped mutant shrimp baby, Jiz will drop-kick some sense into your moronic head and will selflessly shove her finga up there and do you the favor. She's such a giver! Remember, having babiez is for artardz!


Jeebuz fucking Christ. I think I see a front-runner for the Monday Muse of July 2010...


(P to da S...kudoz to Cocky & Rude for first introducing me to the glittery wonder of Jizz. Sirs, I am in your debt. Sorry I burned your shit aaaaah!)



9 comments:

Mel said...

Keeping this one marked "unread", so I can watch with sound when I get home from work.

Dave2 said...

Truly Truly Outrageous!

Tam said...

Um, yeah, so that was disturbing.

john said...

It's true, some things you can't unsee.

Everyone in those cartoons had some big hair.

Internet business at home automated system said...

Young people ... from scratch
Middle-aged ... comeback
Rich enjoy their twilight years old ...
No matter which you can achieve what you want
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Thank you for your time reading, do not give up the chance to even know, know no loss to you!

Nathan V said...

I hadn't seen the Abortion episode. Yeah, my favourite part is the end of The Sequel episode.

hoteltuesday said...

WHERE IS TYRONE?

Polt said...

Well, that was indeed some fucked up shit. No way.

HUGS>..

David said...

I was forced at gunpoint to watch all of these and now the damn theme song is stuck in my head.