Monday, June 28, 2010

My Monday Muse

[Can you guyz believe that it's time once again for you all to feign interest in the democratic workingz of mah blog?! Yep, you are now ORDERED to vote for the Monday Muse of June 2010! Thunderclap your way to the bottom of dis herre entry and pick your favo Muse of this oh so sweatastic month!]

Awesome Toyz

Although I've discussed the overwhelming seal of approval that I've stamped on Toy Story 3 elsewhere online, I just want to say that it is one of the best moviez I've seen in a loooooooong time and if you haven't seen it then you better get your rumpz off to the theater and prepare to cry your ojoz out!

In honor of this fantastic conclusion to a ground-breaking trilogy, I thought I'd highlight some toyz that I wish I was lucky enough to play wiff when I was prepubescent!

Apocalypse Pony

Yay! I love being punished for all mah wrong-doingz and immoral axxxtionz [see: the drunken & depraved Friday/Saturday nightz I spent in college]! There's nuffin' better than being condemned for your terrible sintastico decisionz while playing wiff adorable equestrian statuettes! I was visited by Pestilence Pony before I was even alive since I was born wiff pnemonia! And I chillax wiff Famine Pony EVERY DAY since I don't have dinero to buy food! You really gotta catch dem all! They're just like Pokémon only instead of becoming world famous for collecting them, you get your azz toasted!

The Slide

I didn't see anyting wrong wiff dis video, but apparently peepz [aka YouTube commenterz] are bugging-a-boo about it! Sure, the slide is shaped like a giant beef schtick, but I find it to be quite educational! What better way to show kidz where babiez are brewed up than to let them relive the experience firsthand! Daddy!

Extra Amazing Amanda

CUTE! Part of me wishez that I was born a lady so I could get pregnant when I was 15, no matter what my mama sayz! would be able to play wiff girie baby dollz as incrediskatez as Extra Amazing Amanda! I didn't know what vodka was till I was 18! Look @ all those yearz I was missing out! That plastic know-it-all KB Toy geniuz is an exxxpert on eating disorderz (hooray for staying thin) and knowz all mah favo songz (I wish Lindsay Lohan would do a cover of "Daddy," a surefire #1)! But nooOoOoOOO! Us boiz just get st00pid G.I. Joe figurinez that are made for fighting, NOT for gozziping over imaginary lattes! SNORE!


Who is your Monday Muse of June 2010?!

Jackie Beat?
or this week's Awesome Toyz?


Justin said...

Oh my F****G God. I have no choice but to vote for this week's toys muse. The "inappropriate kids' slide" just has me laughing so hard I can't breathe.

It was fun meeting you yesterday, Josh, even if it was just for 1.5 seconds :-)

Ryan said...

You had me at Apocalypse Ponies. Can I have Seth Green's babies?

tornwordo said...

I've seen the slide before but it made me laugh again. Perfect hilarity.

anne marie in philly said...

I love 'em all...wish I had had toys like this growing up!

john said...

All about the Apocalyptic equines.

Tam said...

Those horses were pretty damn awsome but they should have gotten all those kids on the slide to be dressed in white. THEN it would have been super amazing.

Melody, Destroyer of Dreams said... slide.

Justin said...

Oh, Tam, you just *had* to go there :-)

My brain is still reeling from the fact that that thing seems to be real ...

Polt said...

I had to vote for Jackie Beat just cause I LOVE her Top! *forced laughter*


madtexter (corey james) said...

Oh, I vote for Elyse - hands down. I just love a cray cray hot mess.

hoteltuesday said...

No love for my fave toy, Extra Amazing Amanda?! LOVE HER. "I'm really 18. I just have a disease." LULZZZZZZZZZZ