Monday, June 21, 2010

My Monday Muse

Elyse

I HATE getting into trouble! When I was in high school, I never once received a detention and rarely ever had to be disciplined by mah teachers. I never gave mis padrez (too much) stress and whenever I got into tiftz con mis amigos, I alwayz had to address the issuez flat-out. If I didn't, I would get this nagging pain in my stomach that was a steaming mixture of anxiety, guilt and sadness! So that's why I completely understand the plight on dis week'z Monday Muse!

Long story short, dis shorty below is trying to get into some sorority and to make everyone happy or sumfing, she decides to play weather announcer and make it snow. She stealz a fire extinguisher, jackz it off until it creamz all over the place, which then setz off the alarms and everyone wakes up and hatez her.

Then she runs outside into a car with her friend, and this is where the video pickz up...



Aside from her strangled bird voice and melting wax face, I tink that Elyse is a rational and productive member of society! I mean...what did she really do wrong?! Wasted a valuable piece of protective equipment? Damaged the building she lived in? Pissed off a league of vicious sorority cholitaz? Shit out a mess that even that Brady Bunch slave Alice wouldn't be able to clean up?

Sure, but who givez a fudge?! She was merely trying to bring some Christmas Magic to everyone's drunkenly vapid whorelivez!

If anyone is to blame, it should be her father. He did it before and she just wanted to follow in his brain-dead footstepz!! Like father, like dumbo idiot bitch daughter!

But let's not blame anyone. Let's instead learn from this informative life lesson. People do bad things every day...and it's alright as long as you don't meeeeeeeeeeeean to [feat. frozen gaping mouth facial expression]! Keep crying, dearest Elyse, it brings the pretty out in you!


11 comments:

hoteltuesday said...

Brady Bunch slave Alice! HAHAHA

Tam said...

Wow. Umm. I hate when people cry like that. It's annoying. Please don't let that be my daughter in 4 years. Sigh. Or at least don't let me see it on YouTube.

Word veri: imess - yes you are mess honey.

Justin said...

Yes, Tam, "annoying" barely comes close. What an amazingly self-absorbed little nutjob.

Alas, Tam, if you don't want to see your daughter doing embarrassing things on youtube (or whatever the new thing is by then) then I think you will have to find a cave to move into. Everybody's most embarrassing moments are going to be on the internet (or whatever the new thing is by then).

Michelle M. said...

The BP execs should try this approach.

The Alice line... priceless.

adam said...

Maybe I should just sweep - I'll sweep the flooooorrrrr!!! waaaa!

love it!

john said...

"Stop taping, this is bad."

Yes, yes it is. I hope she is drunk.

Milo said...

Never got detention?

You, friend, are what we commonly referred to as a 'goody-two-shoes'.

Sadly I was frequently in detention and was once almost suspended (too long a story to go into).

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha..."I just wanted it to f**cking snow"...sob, sob. She just wanted it to snow guys, to give everyone a little winter wonderland fun, that's all. Now everyone "hates" her, lol. I must say, this was pretty funny! However, what kind of friend posts this for all the world to see!

-Cindy

Polt said...

Somebody needs to slap her across her face. Repeatedly. Now THAT would be worth watching on YouTube!

HUGS...

Dave2 said...

She makes me want to bludgeon myself to death with a fire extinguisher. THAT'S talent.

madtexter (corey james) said...

Dangs, she looks busted. Can anyone help a bitch out and make it snow?