Monday, June 7, 2010

My Monday Muse

Jackie Beat

Since gay d00dz are the main demographic of peepz that garbage dive in this trash dump of a website, I am sure that dis week's Monday Muse is not any sort of surprise or new face. Jackie Beat is a drag queen goddess of the cosmos that is known for looking fabbyfabo and for doing awesome rerecordingz of delectably derrrriciouz pop songz. But she's not the muse of mah entire vida para dis week for just those reasonz. It's for dis video below...

[note: I wouldn't have even come across dis video if it wasn't for the guyz @ Cocky and Rude for posting the original on their site and for Mr. Pasteeeeeeeeelnick for enlightening me to the wonder of Ms. Beat.]



I HATE when peepz try to correct me. Newz flash to the world...even if I'm wrong, just play along and humor me. If you dare to call me out on sumfing I say that soundz fishy or just plain false, I will sass yo azz fasta than Mandisa would condemn homosexuality would eat one hundred glazed pastries. And now wiff Jackie Beat's string of surefire comebacks, I know I will never lose an argument again!

"Josh, don't you know what they say about global warming?"

"WHAT? THAT IT'S MADE FROM CORN?!?!"


"But Josh, don't you know what they say about snorting asbestos?"

"WHAT? THAT IT HAS NO ARTIFICIAL INGREDIENTS?!?!"


"Come on, Josh. Don't you know what they say about child dismemberment?"

"WHAT? THAT IT'S SAFE IN MODERATION?!?!"


And please mind the absolutely CRUCIAL exaggerated facial expressionz [feat. head tilts and finger shush]. And alwayz, alwayz, be sure to wear your most glamorous, low-cut floral print mumu. That way your opponent has an E-Z escape hatch from the convo after you utterly humiliate them wiff ur brash intelligence.

These are life lessonz, people. Take note.

10 comments:

Mel said...

Hey, I'm the one who commented about this vid on Cocky & Rude! I leeeeerv Jackie Beat. 'Cause she all about class, you know.

Tam said...

Well, I think members of the KKK ARE made from corn. They have as many brain cells as a cob of corn.

MIKE said...

I love Jackie Beat! I've seen her perform live here in NYC.

Those "made from corn" skits are so brilliant because they're *barely* an exaggeration of the ludicrous High-Fructose Corn Syrup ads that they parody...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEbRxTOyGf0

john said...

I know I shouldn't laugh as hard as I did, but the exchange: "Um, love that top?" "Thanks, I think some ***** made it." made me snort.

Dave2 said...

I love corn!!

mikey said...

I think this is my favorite muse yet! wow...Jackie made FMG & the KKK funny....LOVE this

Jere Keys said...

You know what they say about Justin Bieber, don't you? (He's made of corn). This video made me pee my pants in enjoyment.

Adam said...

Yay! Cocky & Rude is my favo website! Mmmmmmmmmm gotta go eat donuts. And they're made of CORN! *snap*

Polt said...

Hey Josherz...ah, Love that top! *forced laughter*
:)
HUGS...

Ryan said...

This is great! Those corn syrup commercials are ridiculous.

I'll be sure to keep any judgments of you to myself, no matter how dangerous.