Monday, May 24, 2010

My Monday Muse


Super Mario Bros.

I know...I know...I'm sure there are only a handful [read as: Enrico & Craig] that will truly care and/or appreciate this week's Monday Muse, but in honor of the release of what will probz become one of mah favo gamez ever, Super Mario Galaxy 2, I just had to share this muse from mah childhood wiff you all.

Whenever I get saddercopterz, or overwhelmed by all the grown-up real-person shit that being a 24-year-old is burdened with, I just slink off to mah cuarto, turn on mah NES SNES Game Boy N64 Game Cube DS Wii and allow my non-existent azz to regress back into the simpler timez of mah past, when loanz and rent and insurance (what is that exactly?!) become replaced by Bullet Bills, Lakitus and Fire Flowers! Not convinced that video gamez make the world a better place?! Just check out these real-life adaptations of mah hands down favo franchise of anything ever...




The drama! Dis shiz is no longer just about Princess Peach getting her nalgaz snatched up by Bowser. Love! Betrayal! MURRRRRDA! Mario Kart: The Movie would be sure to sweep the Academy Awards. I mean, that scene wiff Mario and Daisy in the car?! Sure to win them BOTH statuettes! And I'm soooo glad they got a cute boi [read as: lanky and nerdy] to play mah favorita character in the Mario universe, Toad!

I know one ting...I wouldn't mind being a sweaty, prosciutto-swinging guido if I got to witness Daisy & Peach bitch-slap each other and if I was able to play peeping Tom to some homo makey-outey sessionz between Bowser and Donkey Bongz. SEXXXERSKATEZ!

So what do you think?! Is this not the greatest thing ever? Don't you just want to bust out your Tanooki Suit and confuse the 'shroomz outta some Koopa Troopaz? Don't you want to chuck a spiny shell @ the closest Thwomp (only to have it DO NOTHING since only invincibility stars can kill them...DUH!)?! How about you force Yoshit to eat a gaggle of Shy Guys and fart out a million eggs?!?!?!?

Or have I just confused the snot outta you? Yeah...that's probably right.


9 comments:

Dave2 said...

I'm still trying to master Wii Bowling. Don't be filling my head with dangerous ideas...

Michelle M. said...

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans
And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve
Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine
Can you tell me what more do I need

Tam said...

Well, I have no video game system (we're girls - we spend our money on shoes) and I've never played Mario Bros and I've only seen one episode of Jersey Shore (and it was on episode too many) but I have to say that Mario Jersey Shore was funny.

Word veri: dingle - gotta love the word veri.

Ryan said...

I love the go-carts!

Tam: My favorite character from Emmerdale is part of the Dingle clan.

SAM said...

I adore Mario but I always play Walawuigi when I play Mario Kart.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS GAME! HURRY UP UPS!!

Justin said...

Even though I'm not a girl I don't have a gaming system either. I haven't played games since the days of quarters and arcades. Centipede and Tempest were my specialties. And Q*Bert sometimes if I was feeling extra specially gay [read: every day]

Ryan - I still haven't watched those Emmerdale eps.

Josherz -- you are so right. That guy *is* nerdy and lanky and a "cute boi" :-)

john said...

Super Mario Bros: Jersey Shore was freaking hysterical! "I love big hands and white gloves and overalls." Daisy has a nice rack and Wario hitting her with the spikey shell was awesome!

goblinbox said...

I sold my Gameboy on eBay. *sigh*

Justin said...

I have to admit that "a nice rack" is not the phrase I have come to expect on these pages :-)