Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Let your light shine down! (Please?!)

So prepare ye ojoz for a tsunami of bitchocity, cuz sumfing that will cost me $$$ has happened and we all know that monetary expenditurez are always a stress-injector into mi vida.

Two weekz ago, I went out to Clint [aka mah toughman warrior '91 Subaru Loyale] to check his fluidz and see if he needz to binge drink some oil, waterfall some power steering fluid or hardxxxcore funnel some automatic transmission nectar. So I get my car bloated and happy wiff the necessary engine liquorz (I swear, Clint's truck is like a fucking minibar for coches) and then I notice a collection of small cracks in the glass cover on my left headlight.

My car has been dragged to hell (not in the good way) and has been resurrected numerous timez in the past, so I assumed that these marks were just a touch of wear and/or tear from being several decadez old. But then I touched the center of all the cracks (cuz lordy knowz I can't leave well enough alone) and a quarter-size hole popz out of the glass. DOOM DELUXERZ!

I was all like "&*#%$!@!*$&%#!!!!!!!!!" before calming down and running inside to fetch some clear packing tape. Now, as anyone who has ever moved can tell you, packing tape is some tough shiz. Put it on a box and there's no way you're getting it off unless you a) have a pair of scissors or b) rip the fizz outta all your schtuff. So I put a few pieces of that over the hole and thought I was in the clear.

But then it rained cats and hot dawgz and long story short, some moisture got into the glass case and raped the headlight's filament of any luminary usefulness. So now my front left headlight is busted central. And of course the Midas that I always go to calls every junkyard/body shop in the entire universe county, and none of them have a replacement part.

So I ask you, mah savior bloggy cholitoz, how do I fix my car?! I can't drive @ night wiffout mah anxiety of getting pulled over [feat. given a terrifying ticket!] ruining my existence. I could get the bulbasaur replaced, but then what if it rains and gets toasted again?! Please dahlinz, help a homeboy out!


the naughty butternut said...


Hmmm. I would say you were on the right track with the tape. Have you thought about popping the whole thing out and using that new cling wrap stuff on it and then taping it? I have stuff in my freezer I know has lasted over a year wrapped in that stuff. Not that I'd eat it, but then you're not going for tender and juicy, just watertight!

Dave2 said...

I'd try another salvage yard... hard to believe that NOBODY Nation-wide has something that will work!

Mel said...

Scour the intarwebz, I say.

john said...

I'm with Mel on this one, check the internet. Hell, ebay may have one.

I loved that you referred to it as your bulbasaur. I also would have accepted "Help me Obi Wan, you are my only hope."

Polt said...

I'm just surprised you know how to check and refill the oil, steering fluid and auto transmission stuff!

Who knew you were so butch????

I do find it kinda cute that your car is almost as old as you are. :)


Nance said...

Sorry about your car and the fact that I have no suggestions (beyond a proper burial). I just popped on here to warn you about this: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i3ecdc15bacc281d225fe4e0fd1ff0d31


Melody, Destroyer of Dreams said...

check online and with a subaru dealer. If these avenues fail I guess I'd just go a bit more hog wild with the tape thing and make sure you seal off the headlight-or ask Midas their advice on this.

Tam said...

I think there is clear duct tape made by 3M now as well. Once the light is dry you could replace the bulb and use the clear duct tape. I see cars put together with duct tape all the time and it seems to stay put in the rain. Better than packing tape.

Word veri: under How boring is that?

Ryan said...

You could try this:

that's J-O-S-H said...

Thanks for all your feedback everrrrbody! Your suggestionz are tens time better than what I planned on doing: Sitting in my car while it was parked in front of Midas and crying [read as: blood-curdling SCREAMING] until it was somehow fixxxed.

Chris D. said...

I hope you have this fixed by now. A salvage yard is a great place to find this kind of stuff. I once purchased a side view mirror for an old car of mine at a salvage yard.

My first instinct was to say that '91 didn't seem so old. Then I remembered this is 2010. Damn, time flies!

I actually had a rear break light on a different old car that had a leaking seal. The darn thing would fill up with water. The interesting thing was that it actually worked fine for a while, even full of water. The problem was that water would also leak into the trunk once the light was full. The "fix" was just to drill some drain holes in the bottom of the fixture. This was easy since the part was just plastic.

Good luck with your car.

Scott C said...

This should get you what you need