Saturday, April 10, 2010

Coming Attractionz!


Heya everrrrbody! I hope y'all are enjoying your weekendz. Myself, I've been keeping it lowkey and letting mahself rest after a crazzzy work week. Funny how everyone livez for the weekend to go out and have fun, yet for me, all I wanna do is relax and read about accidents and disasters on Wikipedia [see: Princess Diana and the Hindenberg explosion] and listen to melancholy songs that make me wish I was a better writer [see: "American Pie" by Don McLean].

Socializing...with other people?! Too much effort! I'd rather watch a movie all by my lonesome! And just in case you bloggy readerz are like me and sometimes prefer to venture off by yourself, here are three amazingskatez flickz that I know I'm dying to check out [aka if you have any good taste, you will stay far, far away from deez]:

Hausu


0:18 - Vanessa Carlton's dedoz?!
0:26 - "I see in your eyes where tomorrow is hiding in my heart"?!
0:39 - ::CHOMP::
0:51 - Horror(ible effectz)!
1:11 - Wow dis is such a lovely old hausu! OmIgAwDzLoOkOuT! A CAT PICTURE!
1:20 - Feline vom fiesta?!
1:22 - This is what pianos would like to do to me whenever I sit down @ one of them and pretend to know what I the shiz doing.


Birdemic


0:16 - Hi Rod!
0:28 - "...driven by [insert demonic voice] PASSION."
1:37 - Fuck Avatar. THIS shiz ain't messing around!
1:46
- Scatastico?!
1:47
- Oddly inserted obligatory sexxxcapadez!
1:56
- Even during a birdemic, you must remain cognizant of and be sure to take advantage of all low gas pricez.


Mega Piranha


0:04 - Greg Brady?! HUH?!!?!?
0:26 - Now the terroristz are using suicido bomber pescadoz?!
0:31 - Tiffany, I think we're alone now. Well, except for those illogically over-sized CGI fishez that are killing our azzez.
0:48 - Aw damn! (Dead) Newscaster grrrlfriend is just a few weeks too late!
0:57 - I think we need a bigger boat. Or at least one that isn't edible.
1:00 - BEST. TAG. LINE. EVER.

10 comments:

Mel said...

The effects in Birdemic put even Ray Harryhausen to shame. And you know, when I think sexy time, I think bird shit tsunami.

David said...

Oh, these are totally going to the top of your Netflix queue, because we HAVE to see them.

"House"
I think that's how I'm going to reply to any thing you say when I'm not sure what you just said.

Birdemic is just so very very very tragic. It's a not even a B movie, it's a Z Movie.

Mega Piranha are almost as awesome as Mega Sharks!

Mel said...

Let's get real here, David. You know that Tiffany is no Deborah Gibson. There's just no way a recycled Tommy James oldie could ever match the fierceness of "Electric Youth", and the same logically carries over to fighting giant killer fish.

Milo said...

Not heard of any of those films. I watched Blade Runner last night. Love classic 80s stuff. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Tam said...

Wow, I'm glad hey had coat hangers to protect themselves against those big nasty birds. I'm sure they were very effective. Could there acting have been any more wooden? Sheesh.

I'm safe from piranha, giant or small since it's too cold for them here. So I'm not worried but I think Greg Brady is in trouble.

Adam said...

Forget Mega Piranha, Piranha 3D is what u should be looking forward to! http://piranha-3d-trailer.blogspot.com/ It's coming to theaters April 16th!

Anonymous said...

Oh, these look fantastic to watch and laugh throughout (I couldn't stop while viewing the trailers)! Barry Williams! Watch out! The Brady clan can't save you now! Too funny. It also took me awhile to get over the dazzling effects of the bird movie; at first I thought it was some sappy romance flick and then all of a sudden dead birds...then maneating birds! From lame, to interesting (why dead birds?), to ridiculous. Hitchcock (The Birds) did it better.

I see future candidates for Mystery Science Theater show!

-Cindy

My word verification: cooking (me like)

that's J-O-S-H said...

Mel: You kinky [read as: dizzzgusting] sonofabirchbeer!

David: Your impression of the "HOOOOOUSE" narrator was pretty spot-on. Thus, I am quite TURNED-on.

Milo: Never saw "Blade Runner"! The title always put me to sleep. Seemed like it would be just another goofy axxxtion film that doesn't feat. toilet humor, sad poetic dialogue or elaborate song y dance numberz!

Tam: Here's a story of a lovely
la...::GULP::

Adam: You, Enrico and I should go see it together! YAY?!

Cindy: Dead birdz because mAnKiNd Is DeStRoYiNg dA eArTh! OoOoOoOH nOoOoOo! I prefer my pooly constructed animal-turned-monster flickz SANS environmental agenda, tanx u berry much!

Laura said...

I like that give them everything we're got means KICK FISH IN THE FACE.

Chris D. said...

Interesting movies. I am surprised how good the cinematographic is in Birdemic relative to how bad the acting and effects are.

A friend recently gave me some grief because I am not as social as he is. I just feel badgered if too many people want me to do social things with them in a short period of time. I can be social, but sometimes I need to get away from people for a while and relax.