Wednesday, April 28, 2010

...and the poets dreamed.

[this collage was made entirely out of pix found via Google Image-ing "poetry."]

So a few weekz ago, bloggy amiga Tam pointed out to me that April is National Poetry Month. HOOOORAY! Is there serial anything better than a nice painfully accurate spike of poetry to pierce your soul and leave you plucked of all your protective vices?! NO WAY, IDIOT! I studied poetry when I was in college and my senior creative writing seminar was one of mah favorite experiences EVER.

So it's obvious that I appreciate the craft and benefits of poetry, but I thought it would be quite gracious [read as: imposing and obnoxiouz] of me to help win all you gringoz some poetic IQ points. But instead of simply posting some of mah favo poems (that I know no one but Enrico will care to look at), I thought I would give all of you a glimpse of my own writingz [circa middle school]! So please partake of some whiny and overdramatic wannabe song lyrix poetic stanzas from a socially artarded mid-puberty Josherz! TanxB2Gawdz that I was reflective [read as: desperate for attention] enough to jot all of my twisted inner bullshitteriez down in my My-Diary. Geebuz oh man, mY LiFe wAz SoOoOoOoOooOOooo HaWd!

Secret Necessity

I'm missing you.
And you're all alone.
I called you there,
On the lonely phone.
I need a sign,
to let me see.
If this is fake,
or a love maybe

Wasn't it great [aka e-z and cliche] how I personified the telefono?! Dis it totez some frivolous deep teen rawka chick lyrix [see: Lillix, Fefe Dobson & Orianthi]!

Neverbeen Memories

It's not your fault,
It broke me down.
Just let me be,
I'm tired now.
Best title ever? I think so. And brillz rhyming, which you need if you want to be a non round-breaking poet like moi [aka WRONG. POEMZ. DON'T. NEED. TO. RHYME. I. STUDIED. THIS. IN. COLLEGE. YOU. DIDN'T. SO. DON'T. SAY. IT. HAS. TO. RHYME. PLEASE. AND. THANK. YOU.].

Stitches & Needles

Here are the words that I chose.
This is the song that I wrote.
Are you lonely and cold?
Or is that my current occupation?

Go eat a bowl of crusty scabs, Billy Collins! This is what REAL contemporary poetry looks like! None of that picnic & lightning shit! Funky & played-out depresso espresso interrogative poemaz is totally back in dis season!


So what about you silly little boobaloonz?! Do you have any heart-wrenching soggy wordingz to share wiff da class? Ever write a gorgeously understated and meloncholy [read as: crappy] poem about a middle school crush that never gave you the time of day? Ever take the lyrix to your favorite singer/songwriter's tunez and basically recycle them into a vague splatter of "original" writing?! Ever feel tired of being brave?! SHARE YOUR WORDZ WITH ME!


dcm said...

I'm insulted that you don't think I'd click through to your favorite poems. ::huffs off::

Mel said...

Here's an Elvis haiku I wrote a few years ago:

black velvet painting
sequins on spandex sparkle
sex symbol always

I've somehow managed to miss it the past two years, but Feb. 2 is the annual St. Brigid's Day Online Poetry reading. I posted some favorites back in 2007 & 2008 [feat. Go Look at My Archives!].

Michelle M. said...

April is also National Soft Pretzel Month - so put down that bowl of crusty scabs and have some salty, twisted deliciousness!

I was never into writing poetry. I do enjoy reading it (rhyming or otherwise). I prefer writing fabulous stories which will never be finished. Or published. Sigh.

Tam said...

I can do entire blog threads in haiku as well, it's quite fun, but no, I never wrote poetry. I think I'm a bit too literal. If you are pissed off at someone just say it, don't ramble on about rocks and seagulls and butter.

I did read your links though, I liked the Mick Jagger one. These are a couple of super shorts that people posted that I liked:

By Carol Ann Duffy

And this one by Canadian Margaret Atwood.

"You Fit Into Me"

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

Anonymous said...

I can't write poetry; however I always wished that I could write down my most inner thoughts and feelings and expose my soul to the world! I did once write a poem that was inspired by The Wall albumn by Pink Floyd....this was oh, ten years ago. It was titled, hang on to your seat..."The Wall"; so original right?! lol. I have no idea where it is or I would share it. Sometime I will share with you in person why I wrote it because the meaning behind it was very personal to me, hence the reason why I felt a desire to write it!


naughty said...

Hey now, Mr. Sweetie. Easy there. Naughty loves Billy Collins.

This is my favorite ever Mark Strand poem. I'm going to paint it on a wall somewhere in my house:

The Professors of English have taken their gowns
to the laundry, have taken themselves to the fields.
Dreams of motion circle the Persian rug in a room you were in.
On the beach the sadness of gramophones
deepens the ocean's folding and falling.
It is yesterday. It is still yesterday.

Do you love it? If not, I'll love it enough for both of us.

Here's a haiku Naughty wrote many years ago

My mother's dark hair
tangled strands on a brine wind
bending over shells.


adam said...

I was never much of a poet, but in 3rd grade I won an award for a poem about a kid that gets gum stuck in his hair. Does that count?

Chris D. said...

Love the header image. Nothing makes me think of poetry more than a anthropomorphic pig smoking on a toilet! ;)

I think I found a typo in the Catie Rosemurgy poem (be=he? in second to last line in stanza 1).

Thanks for sharing your older poems with us. I still would very much like to experience some of your more recent work. I think there should be a portion of the gathering dedicated to you and Enrico reading your poems to us. :)

You already read my adolescent angsty pair of poems but for the benefit of others, two can be found here: .

The first is about frustration with matters seemingly beyond my control. The second poem is about the guy I fell for in HS and the muddled "relationship" we had.

Polt said...

I'm with Tam, in that I don't really like poetry cause if someone wants to say something, just freakin' say it. But on the other hand, i am kinda envious of those people who can say something without being so direct.

Have *I* ever written anything? Oh man, when I'm in a mood, I can write the worst poetry ever imagined.

Like this:

Or this:

That should tell you everything you need to know about my poetry skills...or lack thereof.


that's J-O-S-H said...

DCM: I'm insulted that you disappeared from the bloggy world for a million yearz ! ::pouty face fart esssplozion::


Michelle: SOFTY PRETZEL HEAVEN! I am totez that person that holds the back up to mah gob and sifts all the salt rocks down my gullet! SO GOOD [aka bad for me]!

Tam: I had to study that fish hook poem in high school. LOVED IT! I am frrrealz of the "Red Wheel Barrow" brevity in poetry is always mad impressive!

Cindy: If it has anything to do wiff kids being ground up in meaty beats, then I NEVER want to see it! My poor tainted youth!

Naughty: "...the sadness of gramophones
deepens the ocean's folding and falling,"?! I LOVE POEMS ABOUT MUSIC THAT AREN"T LAME OR CHEEZ CITY!

Adam: LUCKY! I wish I was a child prodigy! SMACK MAH BITCH UP, PLEASE!

Chris: But if I share mah recent werx, then I won't be able to get them published in a magazine or anywhere that matters aka anywhere that can give me moniez!

Polt: Once again, you devalue and hate on sumfing I ADORE. Booo! Poetry is obviously an important part of our artistic cultural and history. I WIN.

Chris D. said...

Josh: Which is why I said you could READ them to us this summer. I seem to recall that you implied you could do poetry readings even though you couldn't post your poems on-line.

john said...

I'm not a writer, at all. I can write business material and I think I can express my thoughts in the written word, but I will admit that poetry is often beyond me. I don't fault the poetry, but myself. I sort of don't get it.

Word verification: treat.

Wait, isn't that an actual word?

hoteltuesday said...


Tam: I wrote a 6 page paper about "You Fit Into Me." I'll have to bring it to the party so you can read it!

Here's my current favorite line of poetry:
"Name one living thing that doesn't / somehow bloom."

Anonymous said...

Josh: Lol, no it doesn't involve children being made into burgers! From what I remember it implied to the general message of the album the walls that we build around us for protection, it is a good defense...but it also blocks good things and change. Something along those lines!