Thursday, March 4, 2010

Sweet Dreamz?

Ever have one of dem dreamz where something happens that is so utterly bizarre and disconcerting that even after you wake up and go a'bumblin' about your day, you can't stop thinking about what happened? Well, I DID!

Last night I had a rather deceptively simple sueño that merely involved me standing in front of mah bathroom mirror, brushing my chopz. I am anal retentive about my teefz and am sure to brush [feat. flossyflossy] them multiple times a day. I am supa serial afraid of getting a cavity and then having to fork over prox $1,000,000,000 to get it taken care of, so initially I was proud of Dream Me for being so responsible while I was visiting Slumber Town.

But then terrible hell broke loose and impaled my subconscious wiff horror-time nightmare spears! As the bristles of my brush were scrubbadubdubbing mis dientes, scratches started to appear all over them. The scratches became deeper until ultimately mah poor little teefz began flaking outta my mouth and collecting in my sink. Since I was asleep and my mind likes to torment me, Dream Josh just kept brushing and scraping and flaking until all that was left in mi boca were stubs where pearly whiteness used to glisten. My mouf ended up looking like dis:


So I did what any obessive compulsive paranoid artard would do...I looked up the meaning of all this dental madness on the interwebz thus further propelling myself into a suffocating pool of anxiety! My findingz were totez not sexxxycopterz. Here are some of the possibilities that this rando website I found on Google told me about:

Losing your teefz in a dream could mean...

1. "You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confience."

2. "Anxieties about your appearance and how others perceive you."

3. "A fear of rejection, sexual impotence or the consequences of getting old."

4. "You may have uttered some false or foul words and those words are coming back to haunt you."

5. "That your in jeopardy."

6. "An over-exaggeration of your worries and anxieties."

7. "Menopause."

So basically I am an insecure, ugly, sick, impotent worrywart who gossips religiously and is beginning to go through "the change." Yay! Rando unreliable website, you sure hit the nail on the head!

So what about you folkz, what are your dreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaammmzzz trying to frighten the shit outta you about tell youuuu about yourself?!


hoteltuesday said...

I had an interesting dream last night and I remember thinking about it while driving to school, but I forgot it already!


Chris D. said...

Some months ago I had a dream that I sold a house that I really liked and leveraged the revenue to buy a few cheaper houses to rent out (In this market!!!!!). In my dream I was panicking about not getting enough tenants to make enough rent to cover all the mortgages. Quite a nightmare! I woke up and was glad to find that I hadn't tried to become a real-estate mogul by buying and renting property in a renters market. It was a great relief.

One day I may want to buy and rent properties, but I will make damn sure the fundamentals support my actions, and that I have enough capital to protect my positions.

You do have very handsome teeth.

madtexter ☺☺☺☺☺☺ (corey james) said...

I read one time (okay waaaaay back in high school) when I was reading a book on dream interpretation [I was freak] that losing teeth meant a good thing. It meant that it was a re-birth, a new awakening!

But then again, I wear a night guard in my mouth at night so I don't grind my as-yet-unpaid-for porcelain fakes.

I think you'll be okay. If you dream, that means you are getting good sleep. REM sleep, you know. Value it, no matter how weird it seems.

Mel said...

You forgot the part about you being old. And, judging from that second pic, Shane McGowan.

My dreams, when I remember them, are either incredibly mundane or weird-ass fucking bizarre and epic in scale. In high school, though, I used to have this recurring dream where I was an observer in the Brady household. And then there was the time dead, bloated Elvis came to give a concert at my school and he was wearing the same shorts I was. Total social embarrassment.

Hm, What? said...

I'm not sure what my dreams are about. I have to write an entry about my dreams because they're just as fucked up as yours.

Michelle M. said...

The tooth dream is one I have a lot, too. I remember reading that it means you're afraid of losing control. I also wear a nightguard to keep me from grinding my teeth. Sexy!

Nathan V said...

I can only remember my dreams for more than a few moments if it's about something that could have happened. I dreamt the other day that my roommate walked into my room and stole all my towels even though I told her not to. Then, when I woke up, it took me a while to realize that I still had towels. I know, I know, I live a life of adventure and wonder.

Tam said...

I don't often remember my dreams but I've often had one where I can't dial a telephone properly. That no matter how many times I try I keep hitting the wrong key so have to start over and for whatever reason I HAVE to make the call but I keep screwing it up and the panic builds and builds. No clue what that means either.

Enjoy menopause. The hot flashes should keep you toasty warm.

the naughty butternut said...


I have recurring dreams about being chased through my old neighborhood by bad people...I'm pretty sure they're aliens like in that War of the Worlds movie, and they intend to juice me. But oddly, as I'm running through neighbors' back yards, I'm taking note of everyone's decorating choices to see what I might like to incorporate at chez Naughty if it survives the ray gun blast.

I guess if I dodge the juicing I'll have great insight into window treatments.

Glad to see you're back on the blog, Sweetie. Totally banished my sadz.

Christina said...

ive had quite a few dreams about losing my teeth. usually it just means your stressed out. no new news there, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

verification word: waxin

Polt said...

I don't usually remember my dreams, but several years ago, I had a dream similar to yours. Except I wasn't brushing. I was just grinding my teeth, some people do in their sleep, only I wasn't sleeping, and I felt them crumbling apart like a dry brownie does, into these little crumbs and pieces I had to keep spitting out.

Perhaps i too was going through the menopause at that time, who knows?


john said...

I have a cousin who had the reoccurring teeth dream. He's a little high strung.

My most common dreams are of flying and the zombie apocalypse.

Anonymous said...

I remember having the teeth falling out dream, I forget the details though. Lately, this week I've been having disturbing dreams and they usually involve zombie like people! I'm serious! I spend the entire dream running from them, having to think fast in tricky situations. And it seems these kind of dreams last foreeeeever. Sometimes there will be random people I don't know running with me, and sometimes people I do know...friends and family members. When it involves family members or people I'm close to, I then have the extra fun of trying to save them as well! Well, at least I haven't been caught yet in any of them!


callonmevalerie said...

Losing teeth is a common dream. When you're losing body parts (usually teeth), it means you feel like you don't have control over your life, and your teeth would be especially prone to show up since you're so meticulous about them.

It makes a lot of sense that you would have this dream when you've just gotten a new, full time job, and quitting a job you've had for eight years. There's a lot of change going on in your life and it's hard not to feel like you don't have complete control over that. Your anxieties (you, anxious? ;)) are just manifesting themselves in your subconscious. I wouldn't worry too much about it.

(Lame, I know, I used to read up on dreams and subconscious symbols all the time).

Also, you don't have to worry about your teefz falling out anymore since you'll have HEALTH INSURANCE!

David said...

I pretty much don't remember my dreams. I've only ever had two memorable ones in my life. One involved a giant fish tank, and one involved vmapires.

tornwordo said...

I was told by a dream specialist that it meant guilt over masturbation. I've never had the dream though I guess cuz I don't feel guilty haha.

Of course she's long dead now, maybe the meaning has changed ; )

Milo said...

Last one was about vertigo and being stuck at the top of a building.

Justin said...

I've had many very vivid very weird dreams in my life, though nowadays I rarely remember them. I think most of my dreams are pretty mundane; I do have bizarre dreams fairly often but they are often so bizarre that I can't easily articulate them, and I almost always completely forget them within a couple minutes of waking up.

I have had the "tooth" dream more than once in my life. It's a stress/anxiety dream, not unlike the "naked in class" dream or the "Oh My GOD I'm at a final for a class I forgot I was taking and never went to a single lecture for" dream (it's really horrifying that the last time I had THAT dream was 20 years after college).

My "tooth" dreams have come in many different forms. Sometimes it's my teeth falling out, sometimes it's something more bizarre. The worst one was one where the enamel of all my teeth seemed to have turned into something as thin and weak as eggshells and underneath was just (this is incredibly gross) lots of bright yellow pus. Each tooth was so fragile that they were all cracking and exposing the oozing pus. Quite disgusting. I awoke very shaken. Though very relieved that my teeth were still solid and not oozing pus.

Justin said...

I just had a terrible nightmare last night.

I dreamt that we had gone to the grocery store yesterday (we actually did go to the grocery store on Saturday, so that was semi-accurate) but that when I woke up this morning I opened the fridge and there was no milk!!! The HORROR was that not only was there no milk, but we had JUST been at the store and forgotten to get some!!!!!!!

Thankfully when I woke up for realz there WAS milk in the fridge. What a relief!!

Yep, that's how exciting my dream life is :P