Monday, March 15, 2010

My Monday Muse


Love is a wondrous thing, isn't it? That first instant of becoming smitten with someone...holding hands...kissez...all that nasty stuff that comes's all a roller coaster! But what about those times when the lurrrve isn't reciprocated?! There have been several hundredz of times when I've dug someone hardxxxcore, only to have them roundhouse kick my heart against a brick wall wiff their indifference and neglect. Love hurtz! So that's why dis semana's Monday Muse will let you feel not so alone in the sea of unrequited swooing. let's start wiff some history here. Check out DIS VIDEO for a foxtrot down memory lane to when Jerry Springer & love goddess Coco first met. Lovergrrrl basically tellz us a boo-hoo story about how her husband peaced out and left her all sadly single in the world. She then blah blah blahz about being depressed and grief-ridden and yaaaawwwwwnnnzzzzzz. Then she gets to the good [read as: sexxxy] stuff.

Coco & her giftbow headgear start to quiver in excitement as she informs us of the loveydovey time she spends getting to know her whatchacallit better. Cute! Exposing herself to her neighbor or to kidz at the mall is just child's play though. What grrrlfriend lurrrvez most of all is cozying up to her manoz in front of the televisor and tinking delectably devilish things about Mr. Springer himself. AW!

I have to question Jerry's sanity. I mean, for supa serial...grrrlfriend has got it goin' on! She dressez like the hawt mess that Lady GaGogglez wishez she was! That mane is probz filled with all the magical secretz of the world. And whattaya do, Jerry? You bring out some d00d named Ludwig with a blurry face & ugly tie and expect Coco to just fall crazzzy head ova tacky heelz? She's a passionate woman, Jerry. And you better watch out...Coco [feat. bewbiez] is gonna come getchuuuu!

Jerry, just look @ her enjoying herself while she looks @ you! And stop talking to her in such an impersonal way! YOU'RE HURTING HER!!!


Justin said...

"I cannot sit any more in dat chair! It's Burnink!"

hahahahaha :-)

(Yayz! First comment!!! :D :D :D )

Mel said...

The higher the hair, the closer to God. She must be the muthafuzzn Second Coming.

Tam said...

OMG, right at :20, check out the guy in the plaid shirt with the shave/ponytail hairdo. I think I'm in lurve myself.

Why can't we see Ludwig's face? Is he disfigured? He must be if he's so desperate he's in love with the screeching witch from Macbeth. The people on Jerry Springer are truly frightening.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap. I don't even know what to make of this.


the naughty butternut said...


Wow. Just . . . wow.

Tam said...

Have I ever mentioned that you "interwebbingz" are the best ever? Not likely. Okay, I love you.

Every morning I go and check out most of them (that the firewall will let me) and I know I'm guaranteed some smiles if not all out snorts/giggles to start the day.

David said...

Ugh. Just ugh.

Polt said...

Tam, I noticed the same the shave/ponytail hairdo guy!!! We truly ARE twins!

All I can say is...poor Ludwig. The love of his life totally ignores him, he never really gets to say a word and, worst of all, his face is entirely blurred out. How bad to do have to be for a Jerry Springer clip, of all things, to have your face blurred out?????


that's J-O-S-H said...


Mel: Hell yeahz she is. I'd resign my life to celibacy and pointless worship if it meant I could see Coco all the time after I peaced out.
Tam: And by "screeching witch" you must mean "angelic celestial being."

Polt: HEY! Jerry Springer is the place where dreamz come true [aka where fake dilemmas are exploited on television and fat people fight each other.

Ryan said...

I think Ludwig is blurred because after being ignored by Coco, he probably refused to sign a release.

hoteltuesday said...

OMG dis breaks mah heart! If someone said they love you, why would you ignore them and try to hook them up with someone else?! RUDE. He sucks.