Sunday, February 21, 2010

My Monday Muse

[Before we begin, lemme remind you that it is the last Monday of the month, which means you are all morally obligate to vote for your Favo Monday Muse of February! Scroll down to the bottom to make your gorge voice heard!]

"Short Skirt/Long Jacket" - Cake

Soooo a few dayz ago over @ Puntabulous, someone mentioned the band Cake and punched my head with a fistful of memories. I remember 10 yearz ago that they came out with a bizarre little ditty that featured a ball-rattling baseline and oddball lyrix. The song was called "Short Skirt/Long Jacket" and featured talk-singing vocals about a guy's specifications for his dream cholita.

And sure, the song is cool and shit, but it was the music video that really got peepz talking. I wasn't sure if I was gonna include it as part of the Music Video Vault or count it as a Monday Muse, but I thought that since 5 or more of the individuals featured in the video could be Musez on their own, I would allow it!

Basically some d00d that may or may not have been in Cake walked around accosting rando gringoz to listen to the song and critique it. It's kinda like when you're walkin' around Nueva Nueva and you constantly get bombarded by whorez on the street that try and forcefeed you their contemporary gospel R&B and even when you say "No," they still follow you for three blocks trying to coerce you. LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR GAWD-PRAISING BULLSHIT!

Anyway, they recorded all the peepz' responses and made a video for it! It was gRoUnD-BrEakINg! Checkita checkita checkitaout!

I thought I'd point out some of the most memorable critix (that I very well may have Facebook stalked):

Robert L. Clark: Within the first 2 seconds, he already lurrrvez the track. He is a man after my own heart...being more willing to purchase muzak instead of taking care of himself [aka his teefz].

Jasmine James: She hatez it cuz the singer's voice is "scratchy" which it is not at all.

Elizabeth Cullen: A golden-haired magical elf lesbian who pretends to think that the d00d'z voice is sexy while despising his high school poetry class lyrix.

Ke$ha's Mom Sandi Niklas: One of mi favoz! A stoner mom who probz got knocked up at Woodstock and now spends her days traversing the boardwalk, dancing (unprotected) in sunbeams and werking as a dry carpet cleaner to the stars part-time at the beaded necklace stand at the end of the pier.

Jim Soper: A retired architect who designed the chiseled plaster wrinklez in his forehead himself.

Steve Boeckels: Some important guy [read as: he's wearing a suit] wiff a cute face starts dancin' like he's not white.

Polt Ralph Walbridge: Some grumpster who blah blah blahzzz about how this song doesn't compare to any of the old music that he listened to and snoooooooooore....zzzzzz. Chut uh! Listen to Britney Spearz! And what makes me sad is that he is a poet like Enrico & I! Whatevz...I looked up his poemaz online and they were manufactured in the Snooze Factory! Donda estan Anne Sexton, William Carlos Williams & Joshrico?!

Aaron Saag: Wannabe music snob. Go eat a crotch! Take your ugly jacket [feat. st00pid buttonz], pointless dress hat and your ska muzak library and go get dragged to hell (not in a good way).

B.N. Duncan: Some supagrrrl that a feminist would approve of?! Excuse me, Mr. Old Man Beard, she has a name and her name is P!nk. And "Ass Load Comics"...WHAT?!

Rafe DeWitt: An unemployed, recently divorced (and bankrupt because of it, I assume) tattoo man that uncomfortably refers to ladies as "broads." Cute!

Jens Wallat: He's made completely outta pork roll and misses the "rising action," whatever that means. Nice shades! GIMME!


Who is your Monday Muse of February 2010?!

MySpace Kid?
Maxine Swaby?
"Short Skirt/Long Jacket" by Cake!?


David said...

I liked the home-school girl. Too bad her mom burned all her music.

Mel said...

You forgot to mention White-D00d-in-Suit's pleated front slacks.

I have to say, I've never heard anything by Cake that made me feel anything other than meh. A chacun son gout, I suppose. Maybe if they were to take on the sweet vocal stylings of Maxine Swaby, though....

goblinbox said...

There have totes been too many effin' bands called Cake or The Cake. It's confusing. Plus it's morning and I haven't had my mug of tea yet.

Tam said...

Interesting idea, interviewing the man (woman or child) on the street. Very tough decision this month but I think I went with Maxine because of her ability to get me free airline tickets.

hoteltuesday said...

Polt with a strikethrough! HAHAHAHAHA!!! E>E>

Polt said...

Okay, first of all I am SO not Ralph, cause I LOVE this song! I've been loving this song/video before you ever heard for the first time. (or if not you CERTAINLY berfore Enrickyricardo did). however, a shout out in ANY josherz post is still awesome!

I'm more like the dancing suit dude, cause I'd totally do that, even in public, if I liked the song. Or maybe I'm the Asian navigator in the orange jumpsuit. Or maybe I mean I want to *have* the Asian navigator in the orange jumpsuit. Or maybe I want the guy in the purple shirt with the fro and lover lip piercing. No, nononon, I want Robert Carpenter, the hot shirtless guy dancing and smiling away by the river! yeah, I'd wear a short skirt AND a long jacket for him, oh yes I would.

Um...wait, what was the question again.....


that's J-O-S-H said...

david: yeah...poor home-school girl. I bet her mother's surely religious teachings scarred her to the point where she is socially inept and in constant fear of armageddon.

mel: i love his outfit. I wish i was rich enough to hire someone to steal. And hellz yeah, cake could NEVER hold a sundried tomato candle to ms. Maxine!

Goblin: i don't really like tea OR cake. I'd rather gorge mi boca wiff pies and lemonade!

Tam: free tix? What seduced me about her was the way the light shone off her plump vaseline fingerz! They look like greasy little vienna sausages waiting to be deepthroated! Absolutely derrrriciouz!

polt: i knew this song right when it came out. And ugh..sick! I threw that asian navigator out the window cuz he's ugly!

Tam said...

Oh gee, thanks for that image. Brain bleach needed now. Sheesh.

the naughty butternut said...

Sweetie Pie,

I love Cake.

[re: Jens Wallat] Were you thinking Schweinebraten? Yeah? Me too.

And I'm with Polt re: Robert Carpenter. He resembles the boy for whom I failed college geology. He was the GPA hit.

Boys are boring. No schist.


Jusitn said...

Melllll Mell Mel Mel MEL Mel Mel. If you're going to be pretentious and affected enough to use le français (which I highly applaud), then you're going to have to use it correctly. It's "chacun à son goût" mon frère (each to his own taste). And might I just recommend that all of you do a google image search on that phrase. It's all male chests (well, the same male chest over and over).

This was probably by FAR *the* single hardest Monday Muse Vote **EVER**. There was just not a SINGLE one that I didn't want to vote for. Who couldn't want to vote for meltdown myspace boy? Who couldn't want to vote for Maxine? Who couldn't want to vote for the water breaking all over the guy's face in mid-air? And who couldn't want to vote for this week's muse??!?!?!

In the end I just had to go with Maxine. But it was a tough choice.

BTW: NON-strikeout Polt can *have* orange-jumpsuit Asian guy or fro guy. *I* wants me some shirtless Robert Carpenter (niiiice) or adorable Steve Boeckels (cuuuute!!! But no way he's really a drug rep with those dance moves).

Hm, What? said...

I'm voting for Short Skirt/Long Jacket because I too remember when that song came out and it was lyke, my favorite sawng of awlll tymeeee.

I think I'm picking up your spelling habits.

the naughty butternut said...

I forgot to say that I voted for MySpace Kid. The whole scenario was just soooo...disturbing to Butternaught. Had I behaved like this as a wee squash, my genius mommy would have had some words about indoor voice [read: Butternaught would still be in her room ruminating over her unspeakable behavior.]

Justin said...

Naughtystalkernut -- I soooooo nearly pulled the trigger on MySpace kid. It just made me feel soooo happy that I've got dogs instead of human children :-)

Jere Keys said...

Remind me to tell you my story about Cake, a loud whore, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and a park full of hipsters some day. It's a story that has to be told in person to get the full effect.

Ray Avito said...

I wanted to vote for oh-so-expressive Maxine but that dog plunged me into insanity this morning. Dog/human hybrids all the way...*head spinning*