Thursday, February 11, 2010

God knows the world doesn't need another band.

Hiya all you cornballz! I have an extra special [read as:'s aight] treat for all you bloggy readerz out there! Tanx to some detective work by my high school co-worker Nick (enjoy your shout-out, kid) who went hunting through the Hopeless Valley Butthole High School AV catacombs, a glimpse of moi back during my "rock 'n' roll" dayz has come to light.

Now for all you hoz that didn't know, I started playing the bass guitar back during my freshmen year of high school. As mentioned before, I also played the cello but it was boring and nerdy and all we ever played in orchestra was the "Hallelujah Chorus" [aka extra yawnz wiff a side of lamesauce]. So I put all of mah MuSiCaL PaSsiOnZ into my bass-playing and songwriting. And of course by "songwriting" I mean I lifted crappy poetry from mah My-Diary account and called them lyrix.

The band was called Big American Party and wiff three good friends of mine (Brian on guitar/vocals/mandolin, Mike on guitar/vocals & Dan on drumz), we started practicing all the time. We were pretty damn diligent and disciplined if I do say so mahself! We met up outside of school on the weekends and not only put together some original muzak, but tanx to Brian's brilliance, frrrealz recorded some of our songs and put out a CD! YAY! Here was what our album cover/band logo looked like:

That's each of us, L-R: Me, Brian, Dan, Mike. You can try and figure out what our shirts mean, but you'd fail cuz you're st00pid [read as: they're inside jokes]. We had a legit website, that has since lost it's funding (Mike's parents) and has been shut down. Boo! We also made like $20 each off of selling our CD around the halls of our douchebag high school. Back then, that was like $ONE MILLION!

However, the greatest achievement of our lives was when we performed at da highly publisized BATTLE OF THE BANDS! I swurrr there were famous peepz there! Okay, there weren't. We played some of our originalz as well as a cover of the theme to Donkey Kong Country and a rock version of that "Castle On a Cloud" song that stupid azz Cosette whines all over in Les Misérables (Team Eponine Forevz!). We didn't win cuz life hatez me and I'm never allowed to be happy, but it was still worth it. I tell people that the voting was neck'n'neck and that we came in 2nd by. a. hair., but I don't know if any of that is true at all.

Through and through it was a great experience and I really learned how to actively function in a...blah blah blah snoooooooooooooooooze.

To get an even deeper perspective into our musical prodigy genius brainz, watch the documentary that a fan of ours, Maddy, made about us. Hope you enjoy the video and my interesting hair situation. For serial, why didn't anyone tell me how fucking disgusting beautiful I looked?! ::beef::


john said...

That hair of yours was beeeuuteeeful. I think the "814"was your weight at the time 8lbs 14 oz. You were totally rockin' out at 1:36! Serious head banging going on there.

hoteltuesday said...


1. Why didn't you get a chance to talk about being in the band?!

2. Where can I get this CD?!

3. I was playing music from MY high school band earlier today!!!

Brian said...

We did make more money selling CDs at Battle o' the Bands than the winners got as prize money. And, if I remember correctly, the winners played some jam-band type stuff for awhile and then ended with a Doors cover. Pfffffffft.

Mel said...

David was in a punk band in HS and has a very fuzzy DIY tat that says "THRASH" on his upper arm as a result. Growing up in the sticks, the whole garage band thing was an experience I missed out on - very much a townie phenom.

What I want to know, though, is when y'all are going to get back together for a reunion tour.

Snickers said...

1) Yes... The "Kid" absooolutly lurvz his shout-out!!!

2) The judges at Battle of the Bands were high, because Big American Party should have won! Seriously... this was the only full length video of a band from that year (or any of the few years before or after it)... obviously that means you were the best!

3) I would like to know where I can acquire a copy of this CD... So when Josh Page is No. 1 (a.k.a the only person who really matters in the music business) I can listen to his original awesomeness!!!

Jake said...

I always wanted to be in a band!!

I can play acoustic guitar a little bit (aka really badly). Maybe all I need is a bassist. Interested?

Tam said...

Why weren't you interviewed? What's going on here? You were the star. And adorable with the pony tail.

I think Mandolyn Mayhem should be the name of a European influenced Rock Band.

Dan said...

Memories! I have consistently said over the years that it would be fun to revisit some of or songs and do more awesomer re-recordings of them.
Also Josh, did you know I'm learning the bass now? Now I get like a full 10% more respect than when I played the drums! High Five!

Ryan said...

Lol @mandolin. It reminds me of our choir tour to Ireland when one of my friends brought his mandolin. It counted as a carry on personal item, so we had fun making sexual innuendos based on that for the entire trip.

Laura said...

There's no way I paid 20 DoLlArS for your CD. Let's assume I stole it and/or bribed you with Rita's.

candindo - espanol for lying about how pretty a monster feat. them being the only one to not get it because monster are stupidz.

the naughty butternut said...

Butternaught tried to comment earlier, and had this great little comment all worked out, and then like a big dope closed the window before it was done posting. Butterdope.

I will recap:

I was going to abstain from commenting today because I'm just beginning (maybe just a little tiny bit) to look like a comments section stalker. But it's raining felions and canines down here and I can't go outside and play, so you're stuck with my blathering again today. I promise no matter what you post tomorrow, even if I have to lash my fingers to the arms of my chair, I'll not comment.

Anyway. Butternaught must admit that she prefers Sweetie unplugged. Like when Sweetie and that darlink Enrico did Tennessee together. A song Butternut had never heard before, and as she is melancholic by nature AND was born and raised 18 years in Tennessee, nearly drove her to the far edge of ferklempt.

Butternaught acknowledges that, as a complete stranger, her opinion matters not, but she is looking forward to the debut of an original poem authored by Sweetie, set to music and duo-warbled with that darlink Enrico. Just don't do it tomorrow because if I can't comment I'll die, I tell you.

john said...

Butternut: We've all been there gurl. Closing the comment window after writing a witty and genius comment, not the stalking thing. That's all yours.

Josh: Stalkernut raises a good point, when do we get to see some poems?

BOSSY said...

Loved it. Right to the credits. Hey, Bossy is a bass player too. No wonder she loves you.

Dave2 said...

I filled in on keyboard for a band a couple times, but never took it seriously... certainly never serious enough to be in a documentary! That's pretty sweet!

Later I composed background music for video work, but that's pretty much the extent of my music career.

Justin said...

Mmm. It's definitely going to be "Stalkernut" from now on. Thanks, John.

JOSH. I'm just. *ahem* Heh. I mean. *chuckle* Pony tail. Man. And I didn't think your blog could get any more awesomely hilarious :-)

Ryan: is that where you got your early training, in your pre-puntabuperve days? Making sexual innuendo about mandolins? (Am I being particularly obtuse here, but what exactly *is* sexual about mandolins?)

Ryan said...

Justin: It revolved around the mandolin's status as a carry-on personal item. That leads to comments like, "He was playing his personal item during the concert" or "He needs to go to his room and oil his personal item."

Stephen said...

Oh yes, Big American Party, good times. You forgot to mention the bands second biggest performance, which was that Block Party thing in Elm Ridge, Shultsies neighborhood. I remember that I was an almost Roadie for that one, and possibly another occasion where you played in a basement, I believe where that first photo was taken. I used to refer to myself as BAP's roadie, but I know that helping you guys(Mostly Brian) transport equipment and kind of learning as I helped with setting up the equipment doesn't make me a roadie. I was one of the fellows who manned the CD table during the Battle of the Bands, and yes, you guys did make a pretty penny that night. I actually own one of those magical Silver discs, heh. Apparently, a couple of songs by the band have names inspired by randomness originating from me as well, such as Double Dip, and Requiem of Rock and Roll, Parts 1 and 2! Anywho, I just wanted to add my small share of the BAP history to the lot, as it was one of the very few bright spots in my Highschool Experience at that mockery of an Education Facility...

Anonymous said...

I love Big American Party! What memmories that time holds for me. You guys had a good time, you did what you had to do...make music! I was proud of you, and happy for you. That was an important time for you Josh, It's when music became more personal to you. Rock on as they say! (Ha ha) Love mom

Laurie said...

No way 814! U R cool. (I must have a thing for bass players ....)

that's J-O-S-H said...

John: My hair looked like it got run over by a truck and then crawled back onto my scalp where it proceeded to die and then rot. Fashion!

E. Copterz: I was the bassist aka not important like the guitarists were. And I'll burn you a copy.

Brian: Jam bandzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzsnorefestivaldeluxecitynothankyousleepytimecentralzzzz...

Mel: We're never gettin' back together cuz the other three memberz all moved up north together and left me to rot in Jerzeee.

Snickerz: You already experience my awesomeness first-hand every weekend where I make fun of every single thing I see.

Jake: PERFECT! I have an acoustic bass! We can be sensitive male singer/songwriters ala Jason Mrazzz or Dashboard Confessional!

Tam: I also didn't sing on our album either! Ug Why do I lack self-confidence?! ANSWER TIME: Cuz I'm not good @ anything.

Dan: We should totez rerecord some of our songs! And maybe have lyrics for some of the ones that we just didn't write any for! PS, I'm so outta practice that you're probz ten times better than me @ the bass by now. Good jerb!

Ryan: You went to Ireland for choir?! The furthest we went was an hour northeast from the high school! RIP. OFF.

Laura: I'm assuming you hypnotized me wiff Rita's gelati. That's the only logical explanation.

Butternaught: OMGawdz! I'd LOVE if you'd become mah personal stalka-stalkarazzi! Where do I sign up? Do I have to pay you?!

Bossy: Bassytime duet?! How could [read as: disastrous] would that be?!

Dave2: Oh yes, cuz a less than five-minute crudely recorded documentary on your friends' band that you made for 8th period video editing class is really the definition of SUCCESS. :D

Justerz: Finally! Someone insults my dirrty mange! Tanx! It's about time someone called me out on looking like a total asshole.