Saturday, January 23, 2010

Firstz of the Year!

So my friend V.U.B.O.Q. recently posted an entry about his 2010 virginity and how whenever the Año Nuevo comes around, he feels that he is granted a clean slate and starts ova brand new in regardz to...certain private aspects of Well, since I am less open about my sexxxy time secretz than he, I thought that I would share wiff all you folkz what I've "lost my 2010 virginity" to when it comes to books, movies, music & theater! Aren't you excited?! Here, I'll give you a hot minute to collect yourselvez before I begin...






My First Book of the Year
"The Girl in the Flammable Skirt" by Aimee Bender

Back when I was a dutiful little English major [feat. no sleep and constant essays], I had to read a short story by the talented (and adorable!) Aimee Bender for one of mah creative writing workshops. Since that was back during my sophomore year of college [read as: prox 5 yearz ago but feels like 55 yearz ago] I don't remember what story exactly that we read, but I remember being drawn to her prose that read like fully extended poetic lines. Her writing had a mystical imagery and lyrical quality that I'd come to expect crave like a drug fix from poetry and it was beautiful and heartbreaking and depressing and melancholy and gorgeous and every other lovely word one can use to describe a piece of writing. Her story wasn't afraid to dabble into the dark regions of poetic tides and I was completely captivated by [read as: insanely jellerz of] her talents.

Anywayz, I was conversing wiff my BFFL Enrico and he told me about these two stories in partix from her collection of short stories, "The Girl in the Flammable Skirt." One was about a girl who sleeps wiff old peepz, is obsessed with her obese sister and who violently ooglez a rando grrrl'z navel while the other is about a man who had his lips blown off during the war and how his wife copes with not being able to smooooch him. Intrigued by his descriptions while also trusting any recommendation of his (cuz durhzzz...he and I share the same tastez on nearly everyting), I got the collection. I just finished it last night (in between exorcising my soul outta mah lungz via non-stop coughing) and WOWZA! SO GOOD! She's one of those writers that are so talented that I actually felt inspired to get to work on mah own shit. I'm for def def defferz looking to get more of her werk and so I can continually cream over her gorgeous wordz.

I thought I should thank Enrico for convincing me to give this book a shot, so here's a quote from the book that made me immediately think about he and I's relationshit. ::cue violinz::

"He was always sad about the world. It was a reason why I loved him. We'd sit together and be sad and think about being sad and sometimes discuss sadness."

My First CD of the Year
Animal by Ke$ha

So Enrico already posted about this CD a few weekz ago, but eff it! I will too! Ke$ha's so hot hot hot, she deservez all the publicity I can give her! For those of you who have been living underground for the past year (or those old peepz that think they're too good for modern day music, cuz Lord knows the only musical talent that the world has ever experienced was confined solely to what was popular during their generation), Ke$ha is 2010's biggest breakout star! She was originally featured on that crappy garbage track "Right Round" that everyone but me lurrrved. It just gave me a headache! Then she started werking on her own record and tanxb2gawd that it was finally released!

Here is why I lurrrrrrrve Ke$ha, and the reason could be pretty much paralleled for why I love Katy Perry: She knows she's goofy and she knows that she's an underdog. She embraces all the trashy goodness of her image and her music and she uses it to her advantage. WITHOUT TAKING HERSELF TOO SERIOUSLY, she was able to harness the winds of drunken debauchery and score a #1 Hot 100 single, "Tik Tok" while also landing @ numero uno on the album chartz, ousting a certain someone who I also (professionally) adore. I love Ke$ha for her spunky attitude and silly demeanor [feat. gross album cover] and I was all of you hoz reading to go download (or at least listen to!) "D.I.N.O.$.A.U.R.," "Your Love Is My Drug" and "Stephen." Soooooo goood!

Oh, and she gave an interview in the latest issue of Rolling Stone and what she said just further validates why I lurrrve her. Deez werdz could have been ripped outta mah very own mouth!: "I was just hoping to become a pop star before the world ends in 2012." AH! Lovez her!

My First Show of the Year
Next To Normal

A year ago, I never would have included this category in a post like this. But since running into Mr. Pasteeeeeeeeeelnick, I've been to quite a handful of shows in just a matter of months. Unless Every theater in Nueva Nueva goes bankrupt tomorrow, I totally foresee David & I going on many, many more theatrical outingz.

But I'm getting side-tracked (oh no)! Last Monday, we went to go see the critically acclaimed musical Next to Normal. It won three Tony's and received non-stop praise from David, so needless to say, I was expecting the best...and I left the theater speechless! It's one of those neo-rock musicals that are all the rage nowadays. It has a band wiff electric guitars and basses and drumz and shit and the vocalists could very well be lead singers in rock bands as opposed to opera belters. And I like that! The music reminded me slightly of the score in Rent, but whereas I find Rent melodramatic and slightly affected Next To Normal was 100% genuine and incredibly moving. Basically it's about a housewife who is going through a mental breakdown and the play is about her trying to come to copezzz wiff her inner demonz! Sooo good! But, the play doesn't completely waltz around in Depression City...there are quite a few quipz and brilliant one-linerz that do manage to keep it fun and amusing

Oh! And they namedrop Sylvia Plath in one of the songz! Yay! My favorite songs from the show were "Superboy and the Invisible Girl" and "I'm Alive." I love laughing & crying at the same time!

My First Movie of the Year
Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus

Three outta four ain't bad...isn't it? We can't alwayz have a jackpot of brilliant artistic experiencez, can we?! Now I know what all you bloggy folkz are a-thinking: "Duh, Josh. OF COURSE this movie was fucking terrible," and to that I say "Chut uh." I had no doubt in my mind that this shitstorm of a fuckturd pelicula was going to be st00pid and cheesetastico and an embarrassment to the world of cinema. But I thought that at least it would be entertaining!

I already mentioned this movie back during one of my Monday Muses last year, wiff da clip I featured, I thought for serial that it would be a gloriously horrendous and highlarious viewing experience filled wiff bad acting, bad effects, bad writing...just bad everything. I didn't think though that I would be for serial bored as stone though!

There was too much pointless faux-science dialogue and not enough shots of the crappy monster dummiez! And when they did show the creatures, the majority of the time it was just the shark! I mean, don't get me wrong, sharks kick azz...but peepz have seen those a bajillion times in movies. I never see killer octopusses, and I'm fucking pissed off that this cornhole of a film had a ratio of 9:1 of shark vs. octopus shots. Booo. What a shitty way to relinquish mah 2010 movie cherry...where's mah rape whistle when I need it?!

So who have you gringoz put out to so far this year?!


hoteltuesday said...

"I'm for def def defferz looking to get more of her werk and so I can continually cream over her gorgeous wordz." LOL! I have to get more of her work too!! And omg, that quote is PERFECT!

Girl in the Flammable Skirt?! Ke$ha?! Are we the same person?!

And a group of my friends saw Next to Normal and LOVED it. I wanna see it so bad.

Tam said...

I'm pretty much still pure as the driven snow except for the book part and then I'm a total slut.

Book: I can't remember which one I read first but I was suffering from Toy Poodle Flu (which means I had no ability to focus on a book longer than 50 pages or so) so read a ton of sorts at the beginning of" the year. I think one that REALLY impressed me was Serious as the Grave by Kiernan Kelly. It's a zombie love story but not. People got "reanimated" because of a comet and they now face discrimination because of it. There are laws to protect their rights (they don't brain much) Essentially the main hero finally figures out his friend has been in love with him and there is TONS of humour about his situation and I love Kiernan's sense of humour but underneath it all there is a serious message about people targeting a group for discrimination and hatred, in this case it's zombies. The politicians get on TV spouting hatred and fear and rousing the masses. So in 63 pages there is humour and romance and smexin' and some very serious messages about discrimination and how easy it is for minority groups to be targeted out of fear and ignorance. Done pimpin' that book.

Music: Haven't bought anything new this year.

Shows: Duh. I live in a cultural wasteland. Well, maybe not but we're not NY.

Movie: Robert Downey Jr and Sherlock Holmes. Lots of fun.

Dave2 said...

ZOMFG! MEGA SHARK VERSUS GIANT OCTOPUS SUCKS?!?? This is terrible, terrible news! As somebody who loves Shark Week on Discovery Channel, I was looking forward to this epic battle my whole life! Now what am I going to do? Just kill myself, I suppose. Thanks for ruining my life, Josh!!

Except... I hear that there's a sequel coming out to Avatar in a few years, so I guess that's something that will keep me going for a while longer.


David said...

JOSH! I believe you lost your 2010 movie cherry to An Education, which you saw on New Years Day wiff someone who I guess is just totally forgettable. ::dissolves into a million billion tearz::

My book virginity was taken by Wild Things by Dave Eggers (lurv him), and as Josh reported, we lost our theatrical hymen to the fabulous Next to Normal. I'd like to modify his review, in that while the performers could indeed front for cool rock/pop bands, they all have legit theatrically trained voices and lots of musical theater cred. It's not a scream-fest, these folks have real vocal chops. And the pit also features strings (violin, cello), in addition to the guitars and drums.

I am still a blushing virgin as far as CDs go, though. Unless you count the mountains of tunes that Josh brings for me to upload each week.

Polt said...

Book: A Torchwood book, Bay Of The Dead.
Music: I don't think I've bought any new music this year so far.
Show: Nothing yet, but Michelle and I will be seeing The Odd Couple at a local dinner theater soon. (chut up, this ain't New York! We don't have REAL theaters around here)
Movie: "In The Line Of Fire" I sat through that horrid lil ditty when it was on cable and I was ill on the sofa.

And just for the record, and relating back to my post on this subject...I'm still a 2010 virgin. *SIGH..weeps mopey angst filled tears*


Justin said...

JOSH -- it's for def def defferz not because us "old peepz ... think [we're] too good for modern day music, cuz Lord knows the only musical talent that the world has ever experienced was confined solely to what was popular during [our] generation". It's just that after you get to a certain age, your brain gets full, and you can't take in new information, like who the latest talent is ;-)

john said...

I've only put out for music this year. The newest cd I got was Ke$ha's "Animal". It really is fun, thought I'm not a big fan of "Stephen" I do love "Party At A Rich Dude's House" and "VIP".

hoteltuesday said...

David: "It's not a scream-fest, these folks have real vocal chops." So it's not like an Adam Lambert CD?

John: "VIP" is totally about the life of Joshrico. SIGH.

David said...

Enrico: Exacterz. Although you cry when you listen both, just for different reason.

David said...


john said...

Enrico: "VIP" is about your and Josh's life right *now*. 2010 could blow up big for you both. Just don't hold your breath.

that's J-O-S-H said...

Enrico: "VIP" wasn't on the copy of "Animal" that I got. I tink it's an international bonus track. I come...

Tam: You won my heart at "zombie love story."

Dave2: Right?! I guess since their budget was probably embarrassingly meager, they were only able to afford cheap and scant effects. Boo! Spielberg better sign his azz onto the sequel (rumor is that they ARE making one!) and make this shit rock!

David: I'm ignoring your comment cuz you're trying to correct me on mah own blog. RUDE! I'm alwayz right, durhz.

Polt: It's only been 24 dayz! Steven Carell was a virgin till he was FORTY!

Justerz: I will always be up on the latest music. It's the only thing I give more than a flying shit about!

John: Err....tanx?

Michelle M. said...

Late again.

Book: "Under the Dome" by Stephen King. It was a reallly long Twilight Zone episode.

Movie: Haven't gone to the theater yet, so it was a Netflix movie. "Carriers" was about a group of 20 somethings driving across country to avoid a plague.

CD - haven't bought one yet.
Show - haven't seen one yet.

Melody, Destroyer of Dreams said...

Under the Dome book-wise-loved it although it made me really anxious when I was reading it.

Movie? Does Walking with Dinosaurs the series count?

have yet to listen to new music. Taking it slow.