Thursday, December 31, 2009

¡Año Nuevo!

Here we are, my beautiful gringoz y cholaz! It's the last day of the decade. 2009 was gettin' to be sooOoOoOo funkey [feat. played-out], so I am tinking that it's a buena cosa that 2010 is about to pass out of Time's tired-azz uterus.

As I mentioned a few entriez ago, this year has been crazzzyskatez what wiff all the heartbreak and rediscovery and bloggy goodness and new friends and old friends and yadda yadda. I am looking forward to 2010 and hoping it brings a new batch of adventuraz and exciting endeavors for me to carelessly frolic into.

Everyone seems to create unrealistic resolutionz for themselves that they for usualz give up by the time they wake up January 1st wiff their first hangover of the year. So I ain't gonna play that shiz. Instead, let me just share some tingz that I will work towardz achieving during the next 365 dayz...

1. Have a book of poetry published and (somehow) become a hit, thus making me rich and respected in the literary world.

- read as: vigorously continue to work on my writing and try to put together the groundings of a manuscript.

2. Get a high-level jerb in the music publicity business that allotz me a six digit salary and friendshipz wiff all the cool celebz I obsess over.

- read as: buckle down and chisel away @ my resume and be proactive in securing a fulltime jerb of some kind that doesn't feat. serving tablez.

3. Become famous via an impressive run on American Idol, a sexxxy Rolling Stone cover shoot [feat. resulting controversy] and an Oscar-nominated performance in a dark dramedy that winz critical acclaim.

- read as: continue to do my silly singy song vidz, get myself into better shape [read as: more muscle definition] and maybe attempt getting on stage @ some point even if it's just karaoke.

4. Have Josh Is Trashy become the universal homepage for everyone en el mundo's web browser, providing me 48,329 million hitz a day and the self-validation I oh so desperately crave.

- read as: make this site even more entertaining and enjoyable for the truly lovely (and tasteful) readerz that make me feel like any of this crap I write is actually worth it.

As for 2009, well I had many fond memoriezzz (none of which I care to repeat, cuz let's be honest, if it was note-worthy, I blogged about it @ some point). Here is a quick look at what I kept mahself occupied wiff dis year:

What I Read This Year:

What I Listened to This Year:

What I Watched This Year:

Alrighty folkz, have fun greeting the New Year in whatever way you please. Personally, I really want to ring in 2010 serving rich peepz goat cheese tartz & monkfish and by golly it seems like Lady Luck is jizzing on me cuz that's exactly what I will be doing! Whatever your planz are, be safe (but not boring) and I'll see ya on the otha side. I leave you all now wiff Death Cab for Cutie's "The New Year"...


Tam said...

"be safe (but not boring)"

Well shit, what am I supposed to do now? It's too late to correct the problem. Sigh. Okay, pretend I'm at a wild party kay? We'll go with that. Go-go dancers are involved and gold lame g-strings.

Wishing you wonderful things in 2010 Josh and hope all your dreams come true.

Last word veri of the year: orreafto - When you marry a delicious Oreo and you are truly in love you live happily orreafto. Yum.

Andrew said...

LOL @ "Lady Luck is jizzing on me"

Happy New Year!

Dave2 said...

Well, you're not my browser homepage, but your cartoon shenanigans IS my desktop background AND you made my big list of cool blog crap for 2009! How special does THAT make you feel? :-)

Here's hoping you achieve all your goals in 2010!

Craig said...

Wait, Andrew is really Craig! Was signed in under my Dad's name. D'oh!

dcm said...

Craig/Andrew beat me to commenting on possibly my favorite line ever written in the English language, so I'll just say that things like that make this my favorite blog ever. Keep being crazy awesome hilariskatezzz and I'm sure you'll get everything you want. (PS I will totally audition for AI with you; I've always told myself I should do it!)

Jere Keys said...

For your controversial Rolling Stone cover shoot, you should dress up as a donkey and pose with a fake Saddam Hussein corpse as a shout-out to all the Puntapeepz.

Laurie said...

You too sweet Josh. You & I have a surprising amount in common to-do for 2010 is oh so similar. Let's push one another in right but scary (sometimes) direction. Ok?

Have fun tonight safe ....Happy New Year!

Justin said...

Wait ... You have tasteful readers?

Here's to 2010!!! You've got a doable resolutions list there (tho I don't know how you could make this blog MORE entertaining).

Happy New Year Josh! :-)

madtexter (corey james) said...

Josherz, I have to say without a doubt that your blog is one of the most entertaining I have ever read. I wish you all the best for 2010 and I'll be looking for that book of 'trashy' poetry.


Michelle M. said...

I think this will be your decade. Fame! Fortune! Caramel creams!

Stay trashy in 2010 : ).

that's J-O-S-H said...

tam: all my dreamz already came ta troofz cuz you are in mah life! Oh, and "orreafto" is the best werd verification definition yet!

dave2: it IS an honor! It's mah life's game to become as interfamous as tu!!! Now feel honored in return!

andrew/craig: oh dear! Can you imagine if somehow your dad found out about that comment and connipted (sp?), not remembering writing it?!

dcm: "idol" is for serial mah biggest (soaking wet) dream of all time! I've already planned out my crying fit when they play mah farewell video after i get voted off during the final 3. DEAD. SUPA. SERIAL.

jere: that's a good idea. However, initially it was gonna include me in tight underoonz, posing my emaciated torso in front on a bathroom mirror while my face seductively yet self-destructively peerz up through a mile of running mascara up @ the mirror/camera. The veins in my arms are huge, insinuating drug usage along wiff some paraphranelia (sp again?!) and naked men unconcious on the floor behind me. The caption readz: "Josh, the Bad Boy of Idol?" The accompanying article is about how i used to fall into gross circlez of promiscuity and disregard to my health, but then i became focused and dedicated to teaching gay men that hooking up and sleeping wiff rando guys is the most immature, emotionall-stunted, disgusting thing in the world ever. Oh, and that cats are my favorite animal!

laurie: we need to push each other in the name of poetry! Sexton, Plath, Cummings, W.C. Williamz! huzzah!

justin: you're tasteful enough to recognize my brilliance [read as: possible artardation]!

madtexter: just wait until mah book tour! It's gonna be hawt. I'ma have sexxxy lady dancerz and live music @ each signing [read as: the one book store employee forced to stand by my table & mahself humming]!

michelle: i need to lay off the c. cremez! David always gives them to me and i'm starting to get fat [aka no i'm not].

Mel said...

Sounds like a totally doable set of resolutionz. Looking forward to seeing you pull them all off.

Anonymous said...

This year I am going to finish school and get on with the rest of my life! :-) :-) :-)

Not that I am dissing school in anyway, I love that I decided to go and still love it...but let's look at reality here, my personal life has seriously been put on the back burner.

I am hoping that there will be some interesting times coming my way that doesn't always involve books, and psychology articles if you catch my drift. I know your year will be exciting one Josh...and you will end up in New York before it's through! It will happen...hang tough!

Much love always,

Dorkys Ramos said...

I hope you have an awesome year, kid! Good luck getting it together in 2010 and I'm looking forward to your wonderful attempts at singing ;)

Ray Avito said...

If nothing else, 2009 introduced me to the phrase "mad jellerz" (spelling?) and that I'm grateful for.

David said...

I'm assuming I fall under the category of "yadda yadda." Ah well. Maybe I should stop giving you all those caramel creams. ;-P

john said...

Happy New Year Josh! I hope all your trashy drams come true in the new year!

BOSSY said...

Love your flashy lists of what you read, listened to, saw, etc.

Bossy's would be a very short flash of maybe one book and lots of TV shows she fell asleep during...

Chris D. said...

Good luck with all your aspirations!

Craig: That is a hilarious comment to make from your fathers account! ;)