Saturday, November 14, 2009

This is what earplugz are made for.

It's dat time again! Time for me to force you choloz to listen to the vocal belching I delusion mahself to believing is "singing." I asked on Puntabulous what songz peepz thought I should sing and one of mah favo peepz ever, Tam, responded. They suggested that I go old-skoll [aka circa 2003] and pull some Hilary Duff outta mah pocket. Remember her?! Back before she was making out wiff peepz on Gossip Girl and having sex wiff scorpions, she was Disney's favo pop-slut. Then she grew outta her diaperz and was replaced wiff an even spunkier starlet, Miley Cyrus. Sorry Duffster, but to quote Rhonetta, you're for def def deffers "funky & played-out."

Then I asked peepz to suggest male singerz for me to crap on and of course someone said Justin Timberlake. Then I imagined mahself punching whoever said dat in the nose, cuz let's be completely honest, I might be a douchebag, but Justin frrrealz is ten timez worse. What a dick! So after I shot down that suggestion, Jesse McCartney's punkazz name was brought up and I smiled and agreed.

Then as torture a bonus I thought I'd record a third that I am sure none of you peepz know about. I blogged about it befo anyone liked me and I thought this was a prime time to pull it outta mah little bag of trix. That growling little dog-gremlin Lil Mama released a song last year that honestly NO ONE seems to know about (except for Val, who I shared it with). It's mad hott & sassyfrassy and I'm pissed (but not surprised) that it bombed. Take a gander @ the vidz and feel free to send me a mailbomb:

"What Dreams Are Made Of" - Hilary Duff

"Leavin'" - Jesse McCartney

"Truly In Love" - Lil Mama (feat. Peter Toh)


goblinbox said...

Can you only sing in a moving car? What happens if you're stationary? Do you sound different?

You actually do have a nice voice (and, like David, I'm actually a pro, so YOU FEEL ALL AWESOME when I tell you that).

When you get money, spend it on a coach! Then go be a rockstar!

Ryan said...

I watched Leavin' first. Now, I'm going to spread out the goodness by working on making cookies in between videos.

Who knew drive-by karaoke could be so fun?

Jere Keys said...

Do "I'm a little teapot" next!

john said...

The dance moves in "What Dreams Are Made Of" were awesome and I nearly lost my water at "salad fingaz"!!

Your singing definitely has potential, but your driving still frightens me a bit.

Watching David's video, I was impressed by his dancing and jealous because I could never pull off that costume. I was also reminded of the SNL skit of "Justify My Love" "Wow, look at the unit on that guy."

that's J-O-S-H said...

GoblinBox: Check THIS out!

Ryan: If you lurrrve mah vocal stylingz a lot, maybe you should send me some cookiez! I like oatmeal raisin. Tanx!

Jere: I fear that I wouldn't be able to sing that wiffout the accompanying pantomiming. And I don't tink I would be able to do THAT while driving. Ah hell...I'll probably try it (feat. get into car accident and be tired of being brave).

John: I'll teach you the secrets of my swaying dead hands and my constant head-cocking.

callonmevalerie said...

I know that you have listened to "What Dreams Are Made Of" (Tender Ballad Duet) and (Extended Final Scene feat. Hilary Duff in a bad wig) since high school. Instead of going to Monsters '04 reunion, can we just drive up and down Dublin Road with you shouting to the skiez?

I love that I get a shout out in being the only person to know this Lil' Mama (and Avril Lavigne - REMIX!) song. I also hit all the low notes, which makes my testicles bigger than yours.

Ryan said...

Josh: Cookies don't ship well cross country. They get dry and crumbly. However, if I have a conference in the NY/NJ area, I'll bring some with me for you.

Tam said...

Yay! You ARE a Disney Princess Sweetheart. Hil Duff was hanging out in our town for a bit when her BF played hockey here. And I hear Carrie Underwood is moving to town to live with her studly hockey man. Hmmm. Maybe you could do a series of "chicks who've been to Ottawa". Alanis Morisette has a condo here.

I actually googled G5 one time because it was bugging me. It appears he's referring not to the $16K Pontiac G5 car but to the Gulfstream V executive jet. I hope so anyway, otherwise she is going to dump his ass really fast.

An no, I had never heard the third song but your rapping skills are nearly as legendary as Jere's.

Great job. :-)

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Hahaha I love ya singing in the car like that.. you are soo awesome.

I heart Hilary Duff in that movie and I watched that vid in delight. Alas the lack of sync killed it a bit but the comments are just soooooooo funny.

I have a confession.. I didn't last the full wack on the other two vids :(


Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Having sex with scorpions? ROFLMAO.

Craig said...

This needs to be a regular feature!

David said...

These posts are and will always be my favo music videos. MTV can suck it.

that's J-O-S-H said...

Val: Ur testez are so big that I bet they could even rival P[shift+1]nk's! Oh, who am I kidding? Her nutterz are so monstrous that they cause tidal wavez that destroy small unimportant island communities when she jumpz into the ocean.

Tam: Put a letter in the UnderBot's mailbox that asks if till now she's always been fine on her own.

Soul Seared: You better watch the other two! I risk the lives of many many other peepz via car-crashing, just to keep you folkz entertained!

Craig: I do 1-2 every month! Where have youuuuu been?!

David: Wrong...MTV can suck THIS.

Chris D. said...

What Dreams Are Made Of - Hmm, "video out of sync". Sure... Maybe there is some Milli Vanilli going on here. ;) I didn't really feel like you were into the song.

Leavin' - I've heard the song before, and thought it was OK. However, YOUR performance was amazing! I think it is one of your best singing videos. You did very well with his vocal style.

Truly In Love - Never heard this song before (that I can recall). I think you did well with it.

Ray Avito said...

I'm not quite sure who this Jessie McCartney is, but I'm sure I prefer your version and the color effects are accidental? Accidental fantasmic...

Lil Mama...oh no, now I must go play Lip Gloss 15 times...

bingo girl said...

I love the snapping of fingers! What's up with the color changing?
Did you try auditioning American Idol? Why not give it a try ;)

Michelle M. said...

Sorry this comment is late - my sound was not working.

I love that you put your hand up when "Put a Ring On It" briefly played. And you can channel Rhonetta! Jealous.

Love these videos. You are too adorable.

Christina said...

i miss you! these videos make me upset that we dont live together anymore. move to greenpoint

word verification: canctio = a butchered-not-real spanish word we use when we think we (read as: i) can speak spanish together

Dorkys Ramos said...

Loved. It! I watched Leavin first, of course, and you had me rolling with your wonderful musical talent and those hilarious side comments. I want more!

LatinKink said...

Maravalloso, papi. De veras, me encanta su voz. Mas, mas y mas.

Abrazos y abrazotes. Cuidate, ok? Y mas videos de ti!!!

LatinKink said...

no..! en serio, ven y visitamos en Yucatan, OK?

LatinKink said...

Seriously, this is great. You should do more. Yeah, we speak INGLES en Yucatan too, broder.

an we likes the way you writes. coolness. we can't do it the way you do. but we likes it. ;-)