Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Teardropperz On My Guitar

I hate when you ask somebody "What music do you like?" and their response is "Anything but country." I feel like that's everybody's immediate cop-out and if I am having a convo wiff somebody and they drop such a generalized and thoughtless answer, I immediately vom at them and walk away to leave them stewing in mah warm beef chunkz. For judgem3ntal as I am about different kindz of music, I still try to keep myself cognizant to all genres and try and appreciate the uniqueness that makes them special. I am really smart and open-minded! (good for me!)

Anywayz, I say this because within this past year, I have found mah earz flap-jacking all over the musical world, taking note of all sortz of different soundz and such. I've found myself diving into the world of country music a lot recently. Of course when I say "world of country music" you all know that I really mean "female singer/songwriters of the world of country music." Yay! I find that ladies write depressing love songz much more eloquently [read as: painfully] than stupid idiot men do and since being sad is one of mah favo past times, I have a wide selection of depresso espresso musica to drown mi vida in!

For awhile, I found mahself listening to Carrie Under-Bot's "Jesus, Take the Wheel" on repeat while riding the bus to and from work. The song is all about living a terrible life and having a baby and giving up and having Jeebuz save your punk azz from car crashez. Huzzah! This song also won bonus pointz wiff moi for being performed by mah favorite American Idol season six contestant, LaKisha Jones! Sassy and heartfelt! [P to da S: while embedding that Idol link, I got distracted for over 30 minutes looking up other LaKisha performances. Lovez you forevz, KiKi!]

Then I started getting into my Taylor Swift obsession [aka waking up, smelling the coffee and realizing she's amazinskatez!]. The first time I heard "White Horse" my heart literally stopped working and I had to go to el medico so I didn't die. The video has a poor little T. Swift cryin' sparkly diamond tearz out of her sugary gumdrop eyez and the first time I saw it I had flashbackz of when my ex thought it was a good idea to try and crush mah existence by saying he didn't need me in his life. Weeeeeeee! Now I'm ova him and can listen to "White Horse" all I want and pretend he's watching me sing it on American Idol [country week] and sticking his foot in his mouf.

And how can we talk about waterfall-inducing country singer/songwriterz and not mention The Wreckers (feat. one of the chicaz that made me cry 24/7 in high school, Michelle Branch)?! I got their CD at the end of the summer and immediately fell deeply in love wiff [read as: became incredibly depressed by] their song "Tennessee." Ug! Why couldn't I have written that perfectly understated and utterly devastating chorus?!

But alas none of these trackz have given me more heart palpitationz than dis following ditty...

Prox three yearz ago, I was watching some goofy music awards show when I decided that I needed a snack. So I trudged off to the kitchen and while I was making myself a PB&J sammich, I took note of a particularly tortured sounding vocalist coming from the other room. By the time I got back in, the performance was more or less over and I forgot all about the song.

Wellzzzz, a few semanaz ago, I was trying to write a poem that didn't suck and I kept wanting to use the line "Why don't you stay?" but sumfing felt all funnerz about it. Then I realized that it was because I was stealing the line from that song that I barely heard several yearz before!

After being pissed that I'm not nearly talented enough of a writer to come up wiff something that's both beautifully simple yet effectively unforgettable as that line, I looked up the song . It's coincidentally called "Stay" and it's by some group called Sugarland that has sold millionz of CDs despite the fact that I had no effing clue who the shiz they are. I then downloaded it and haven't stopped bawling for two weekz. house is starting to look like Nyahleanz [read as: New Orleans] after Hurrican Katrina flooded its ass. Watch the video and then try to tell me that you don't feel completely broken on the inside:


Jere Keys said...

I have limited time to explore music. Between indie, pop, rock, folk, world, showtunes, classical, hip-hop, R&B, blues, dubstep, mashups, drum & bass, and punk (and all the subgenres and crossovers), I feel I have sampled an adequate variety of genres. Don't like country. Haven't since I was 15. Don't feel the need to start trying now.

If it's any consolation, I also have no tolerance for House music if I'm not actually on ecstacy (a.k.a. never).

dcm said...

Growing up in Georgia, I consider myself an expert on the best thing we've exported since Jimmy Carter. It's nowhere near my favorite kind of music, but I love the heartstring tugs it can be capable of. So I'll make some recommendations.

"I Wonder," by Kellie Pickler
"Concrete Angel," by Martina McBride
"Whiskey Lullaby," by Alison Krauss (some dude sings too, but she's the important one.)
"Travelin' Soldier," by the Dixie Chicks. Actually give that entire album, called "Home," a spin.

Okay, I'm done being a dorkus now. But sad music is what I like, because listening to real emotions brings me peace, as opposed to empty pop melodies. I should go cut my wrists some more, since I'm so melancholic.

Ryan said...

While I don't listen to much country, I definitely enjoy some of it. In high school, I had a job as a cashier at a store that played a country station. After listening to the same Top 40 country countdown for the fourth time in the same weekend, I found some songs that I liked.

Mel said...

I so rarely like Top 40 What-Passes-For-Country, but I lurve, lurve, lurve me some old-time Appalachian music and bluegrass. And if you haven't listened to some Gillian Welch, you absolutely must.

You forgot about "everything but rap", though.

Michelle M. said...

Rap, heavy metal and rap aren't my favorites, but there are songs in every genre that I like. And I adore Dolly Parton.

Polt said...

I really can't stand the current batch of Country music out right now. But I can really get into some Johnny Cash. "Folsom Prison Blues" is just rockin. (And the only song I can atually sing somewhat decently...shoulda picked that at karaoke for me!)

Some of Loretta Lynn is okay.

But Sassy josh, punkin, if you want REAL good country music, if you want women singing sad songs, and singing them beautifully, give Patsy Cline a try. Voice of an angel. Listen to "Sweet Dreams" and tell me you can't feel the pain coming right out of the speakers and wrapping itself around you.


Tam said...

The video won't show up for me at work. :-( I just see a white box.

I think most people thing Waylon Jennings and Loretta Lynn, dogs dying, standing by your man, getting drunk, etc. when they think country. THAT, I don't care for. I don't mind some of the newer stuff, TS, Dixie Chicks, some of that stuff. (Not big on sad songs though.) I can't listen to a country station though, one after another is too much, but toss in a few here and there and I'm good.

I tried to get Taylor Swift tickets last week. My daughter would have died if they'd been under the tree for Christmas. The tickets went on sale at 10:00 and by the time I could get through at 10:20 there were only singles left. FUCK!!! Oh well, I tried.

hoteltuesday said...

Good job linking to a live version of Tennessee instead of the horrid real video!!

If you're listening to country, you should be listening to Martina McBride!!!!!!!
Look up:
"Where Would You Be"
"How Far"
and "LOVE LAND"!!!!!!!! And listen closely to the lyricz!! That song makes me want to refuse the stiff procession to the grave. I cry every time.

Michelle M. said...

Kristen lives!

that's J-O-S-H said...

Jere: Ecstasy is for desperate hoz that are unsatisfied with their pathetic lives and therefor need something else to make themselvez feel worthwhile or a part of sumfing.

DCM: I actually enjoy Kellie Pickler [aka T. Swift's BFF]! "Best Days Of Your Life" is epic and I listen to her butchered version "Unchained Melody" from when she was on "American Idol" on a daily basis.

Mel: See...I'm the opposite, I LURRRVE that Top 40 crap that isn't "real country" but still gets lassoed into that genre because there is a slight twang artificially inserted into the singa'z voice.

Michelle: <3 Jolene <3

Poltergeizt: YOU KNOW I'M OBSESSED WITH "WALKIN' AFTER MIDNIGHT!!!" And I saw "Walk the Line" a few monthz ago and fell in lurrrve with Johnny Cash.

Tam: Maybe try this.

E. Copterz: I'll have to memorize them all so you and I can huddle together on the streets on Nashville and cry on our acoustic guitarz and then become famous for our earnestly bleeding heartz.

Ray Avito said...

It's a very beautiful song, but what is this emotion of which you speak. What? No, no, that's...uh...just my eyeliner causing my eyes to water...

mkf said...

you want heartbreak, cupcake? i'll give you heartbreak [minus the first three seconds, which i suddenly can't seem to find anywhere other than on my own ipod]:

and once you have absorbed the full majesty of the foregoing--and if you're still insisting on the inspiration of a female--you might wanna check out this one: