Friday, November 13, 2009

I could eat you up, I love you so.

I've had mah heart ripped out. I am legally dead and mah funeral is nexxxt week [bring party favorz!]. Okay, I'm not totez frrrealz, but after seeing Where the Wild Things Are last wednesday wiff David, I have to admit that mi corazon is un poco broken. I was expecting this movie to be a bit of a cheez-festival what with it being based on that kid's book that I never read/looked at. All I really know about its author, Maurice Sendak, is that he is also the creator of that god awful Little Bear series that was alwayz playing on Nick Jr. when I wanted Rugrats to come on. Booo! That bear was such a little bitch and I hope someone made a rug outta his punk-azz.

Anywayz, I went into the film a little skeptical. I left it, however, quite speechless and quite in love. Yes, the story was great. Yes, the effects were amazin'skatez. Yes, the acting was prett brillz. But what really got mah heart to erupt in a barrage of empathetic volcanic juicez was the character of Alexander! He was this goat-being that was smaller than all the other Wild Tingz that was constantly picked on and occasionally ignored by the otherz. He was tragically innocent and sweet and sensitive and easily wounded. JUST LIKE ME! I wanted to give him a thousand hugz and then marry him.

I spent the entire film pinching David whenever Alexander was on screen (so he knew to pay extra close attention!) and then screaming in disgust whenever he wasn't. I want him to have his own spin-off movie/television series that I can cry to every night. For some reason I always fall slightly in lurrrve wiff the fictional characterz that are pathetically insecure and overtly delicate. So therefore I shall induct Alexander into mah Supa Sensitivo Cry-A-Lot Club where he can mope around and be sad along wiff Billy Bibbit from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Chad Linus from the MTV television series 2Gether. Huzzah!

David got mad jellerz and annoyed wiff me for the rest of the night cuz all I tcould talk about was my new boyfriend. He threatened to beat me up and then I cried. Then he did beat me up and I cried some more.

As we were walkin' through the movie theater [which is like a maze!] I took note of several movie posters that caught mah eye:

Some scary movie called The Crazies that looked cool. Though I would have liked it better if it was renamed Drag Me To Hell 2 starring Enrico & I.

I saw this poster and went blind due to the thousand rapid eye-rollz I experienced. It's just mah initially reaction to gratuitously annoying photo-shopped whore-men. This movie lookz dumb and seems like sumfing the majority of the Puntabulous peepz will be all hawt & bothered about. Boo! I'ma go watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the 50th time instead!

Then as we were about to leave the theater, I ran into two of mah best friends, Enrico & Mo'Nique. They were kabitzing about how hard it is to be women and what they were planning on putting in their frying pans when they got home. Sadly I have yet to see Mo'Nique's sure to be Oscar-nominated performance in Precious. NEED. TO. SEE. IT. SOOOOON!

What movie have you choloz y gringaz seen lately? What are you excited to see?! Let me judge your cinematic choicez!


dcm said...

That man poster looks atrocious, I agree. My last venture to the movies was for WTWTA as well, so I don't really have much to contribute, except that I finally watched The Corpse Bride on Netflix instant the other night and liked almost all of it, except the songs. If Tim Burton would get real Broadway song-writers instead of people like Danny Elfman who can't break out of the "Never Had a Friend Like Me" Aladdin mode that's cheesy and catchy, but never really moving, maybe I'd actually enjoy one of his films in its entirety.

hoteltuesday said...

UGH. Why haven't you seen Precious yet?!?! So many amazing moments that I want to refer to/confuse people with and you haven't seen it yet.

Tam said...

The last movie I saw was 9 on the weekend. Very dark end of world movie but very cute steampunk rag dolls who are brave and smart and I'm pretty sure 2 and 5 were in a gay relationship. Lots of freaky Tim Burton feel to it.

There's not too much I'm dying to see but Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey might be good. I love SH and RD is a pretty good actor so I'll be curious to see if he can pull it off. That's really about it. Nothing else is calling out to me as a "must see".

john said...

Last movie I saw in the theater was Ponyo with my god son and his mother. It was meh, some amazing animation, but not his best work.

I also finally saw District 9 and LOVED it. It wasn't what I was expecting, but I really enjoyed it.

Verification word: recram: what Josh did to get into those teeny tiny shorts in the second picture.

Polt said...

The last movie I saw was "Gay Sex In the 70's" which had surprisingly little gay sex in it. It was a documentary, and it was chock full of interviews with gay men who were alive and living in Nueva Nueva from Stonewall through the beginning of the AIDS epidemic.

It was pretty interesting to get a look at gay life back then, as compared with today. A history documentary about gay sex, what more could I ask for?


that's J-O-S-H said...

DCM: I lurrrved "Nightmare Before Christmas" though! I adored "Sally's Song!" SO SAD! I want her to release an album.

E. Copterz: I constantly feel compelled to name-drop Joann though I haven't even seen it yet!

Tammerz: Holy fuck! Robert Downey Jr. is one of my pepaw crushez. Seriously...that man is absolutely gorge!

John: PRAWNZ!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

Polt: I saw the word "AIDS" in ur post at a quick glance...and I am terrified of even reading about it, so I couldn't read your comment! AAAAAAAAAAH! ANXIETY....RISING....

Craig said...

ZOMG! I know the post title is a quote from the movie, but I'm just gonna pretend it's about you and David being all kissy face and getting gay married and popping out babies someday. YAY!

David said...

When I'm not beating 23 year-olds until they cry bitter delicious tearz, I see things like WTWTA while getting pinched constantly.

I guess I'd better see Precious pronto or else risk getting confused/mocked by Enrico, and quite frankly that shiz is getting old already.

goblinbox said...

I was gonna say something hilarious, but I've been derailed since somebody said Robert Downey, Jr. *daydreams*

Michelle M. said...

I preferred In the Night Kitchen (feat. peen) to Where the Wild Things Are.

Poor David with bruises all over his lovely arms.

Last movie I saw was Paranormal Activity. It made me queasy. I DETEST shaky cam. I was disappointed that it wasn't very scary. But I did close the bedroom door that night - so it wouldn't slam on its own. I want to see Precious, Zombieland and 2012.

Tam said...

I agree Josh, he's a hottie. But are you sure you'll be able to handle the history aspect of the movie? I'd hate to have you bored to tears. :-D Maybe you could fantasize about you and RD during the slow parts. That's likely what I'll be doing.

BOSSY said...

Bossy can't read this because it might have a spoiler, but, Hi Josh! Kisses and hugs.

Ray Avito said...

What they're putting in their frying pans? Oh, I laughed hard! Your head kills me.

Mo'Nique scares me running up those stairs in her nightie.

Transylmania...pop culture of late has ruined vampires for me.

Sharon said...

just wanted to show my love for linus from 2gether. that is all. <333

Milo said...

WTF is that goat thing???

I haven't been to the cinema in absolutely ages. Probably nearly a year. Can't even remember what I last saw. I like going, but just don't seem to get round to it!!!

Jere Keys said...

I have nothing to say about any of these movies I haven't seen. But I hope to see "Nine" or "Sherlock Holmes" or "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus" when I get done with my schoolin' for the semester.

Sharon Tharp said...

haha i just realized i called him linus (which is the name of my ex bfs cat/his last name) anywayyy lol i meant chadddd <333

that's J-O-S-H said...

Craig: But I tink I got my uterus murdered outta me when I was a little boy...guess I'm da daddy!

David: How can you being getting tired of Enrico confusing & judging you?! You better get used to it, cuz wherever I go, he goes. It's just how it has to be.

GoblinBox: Holy shit I know. I used to have him as the background on my computer when I was still in high school. I told my parents that I just really like a certain movie he was in. I told them it was the stupid azz "Gothika" when in actuality the movie he starred in was called "Josh's Liquid Dreamz" and I watched it every single night.

Michelle: I wanna see those three movies as well! Make Harry fly you out here so we can have a daylong marathon at the cinema watching movies, hugging and eating faux-butter topping. Yumz!

Tammerz: History? Boo! The possibility of seeing Robert Downey Jr. wiff his shirt off...almost makez up for it.

Bossy: No SPOILERZ...really. But tanx for the love. Are we married yet?

Ray: <3 <3 Mo'Nique <3 <3 She lookz so fierce in "Precious" but let's be serial...her shining moment of climatic glory was when she hosted the greatest show of all time, "Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School."

Sharon: My obsession wiff Chad Linus really was quite unstable. I imagined that I was written into the storyline and we fell in love. I am not kidding. I had our wedding muzak planned out..."I'll Be" by Edwin McCain performed a capella by the other four band memberz.

Milo: That "goat thing" is my future boyfriend. WATCH YOUR MOUF!

Jere: feat. Heath Ledger death controversy?!

Sharon Tharp said...

SHUT UP! lol I <3 edwin mccain's "ill be." no joke it was my fav song/future wedding song circa my dawsons creek obsession days. so i would totally attend your wedding to chad tho sadly QT would be absent from that acapella :(

ps. This one time I fit five dollars up my butt and, not to brag or nothing, but I bet I could fit way more up there. Way more! Easy!

that's J-O-S-H said...

I still find mahself saying "butt-load of money" all the time. People look @ me like I am legit crazzzy.