Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Q+A! (the Twitter Fiesta Thunderclap Showdown Remix)

What I lurrrve about Twitter other than being able to randomly post stupid shet that nobody carez about, is that I can legally stalk celebrities throughout my day via the posts that they [aka their assistance that they force] write themselvez! What I especially enjoy is when certain famous peepz will invite followers to send them questions that they will later answer on the site. Well, in training to becoming a sexxxy and important member of the pop culture elite, I thought that I would open up a forum of preguntaz from my Twitter followers and thus answer said questionz on my blog. Twitterbugz Enrico, David, Jere, Chris, John & Josh B. all obliged with some grrreat, thought-provoking inquiriez! [How obvious is it that I couldn't tink of sumfing to write about today?]

If you could relive one single day from your past exactly as it was the first time, what day would you choose to experience?
I was just talking about this sorta thing with a friend of mine a few dayz ago! I would want to relieve my freshmen year of college. It was such an exciting [and overtly sexxxual] time for me filled with many vundervil [read as: drunken] memories. I made some great friendshipz and learned a lot about mahself. Partiez, early morning movie nightz, everyone having their dorm roomz open during all hours of the day, homework that I seemed to never do but always somehow got accomplished, trips down to the food court to eat painful mac & was all quite a blast! If I had to choose one day, I would pick my one during my first weekend @ school when I got hammered with my soon to be BFFz for the first time. I tink it was between my second & third vomming in my new friend's wastebasket that I realized "Wow...this is a time to cherish."

What's your shoe size?
Last time I checked it was like 9 and a half. Isn't there some correlation to the size of shoez and the size of a fella's weiner schnitzel? I dunno...I like to measure my business by the size of candy barz. Pay Day KING SIZE comin' @ youuuuu live!

What was your first kiss like?
It was muy romantico aka not at all. Here are the reasonz why:
1. It took place in the back of my friend Oliver'z car while she was driving with a passenger in the seat nexxxt to her. I was in the back with a friend of mine who I knew was gay.
2. Shetty pop muzak was blaring and piercing my earz.
3. We were on our way back from seeing people get their bodies ripped to shreds tanx to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
4. Before that we were @ some goofy themed school dance [aka Lame City USA].
5. Since it was mah first time to makerouterz wit something other than my hand, I was terrible and kept clanking my teefz on his. Oh! And my tongue was worthless and sat like a wet slug in my mouf. It sadly wasn't until college [see question #1] that I learned the art of tonsil hockeyz.

If people have flavors, what would you taste like if I licked you? How does that compare to Enrico's flavor?
Hmmm...I would hope something derriciouz like pink Fla.Vor.Ice or caramel creeeemez! Yumz! However knowing my luck, I'd for probz taste like sumfing vile like that paste that accumulatez on teenagers' retainerz when they're not properly cleaned or sweaty locker room underooz or mushroomz. And how would I know how da E. Copterz tastez?!?

What were the most substantial events in your life and how did they shape you?
I personally feel that I have yet to have these quintessential "life-changing" momentz yet. But I do have an inkling as to what they will be when they finally do happen:

1. When I get voted off third on American Idol and have the judgez cry fowl while applauding my bravery and genuine sweetness.
2. When I win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for the big screen adaptation of Forgive Durden's "Razia's Shadow."
3. When I start my first ever nationwide poetry tour with my fellow talented literary geniuses Enrico & Julia.
4. When I do my first controversial B&W scantily clad Rolling Stone cover [feat. smeared lipschtick on my face, bloodshot peeperz, my veinz popping outta mah skin and a bottle of rum in my hand].

If you could host a dinner party with 4 people from history, who would you invite and why?
Well, I would have to invite the four most important peepz in the history of the universe: Rhonetta, Tatiana Del Toro, Mary Roach & Darwin Reedy. Girls' night! We would discuss the latest fall fashionz [sexxxy & different], how to be a supastar without having to drink Paula Abdul's bubbly water and which are the best techniquez with which to set the city on fiya. Of course we would have to take a break @ some point and admire Tatiana's impressive portfolio and Darwin's novella manuscript. Oh! And if we're mad luckerz, Mary just might perform all of Shakespeare's "A Midsummers' Night Dream" using only her animated spazmatic body and her ten bajllion voicez! BFFLz!

What food did you hate as a kid that you like now?
Artichokez used to taste like a bile deluxe meal when I was a little tot, but now I tink they are quite derriciouz. Especially in dip! Why herro tastebudz...let me introduce to you heaven.

How do you feel about "3"? Will it ever reach #1?!
I was just thinking about this two nightz ago when Perez Hilton was barfing on and on about "3" on his Twitter. I am actually unsure of how well it will do. I tink that there is a lot of buzzzzz around the song and that once it is available for download, people are gonna flock to dat shiz like white on Evan Rachel Wood's face. I tink it could be the next "Party In the U.S.A." and debut really high due to everybody buying it. Howevz...Brit Brit is really touch-and-go with her singlez. She's only had 7 top tenz in the past decade and only 2 #1's. Seemz like a lot of her tunez don't get the radio representation that other artists get. Though Circus did get a lot of who knowz? Wow...I just read that over and I am a pop culture NERD FESTIVAL! Anyone else tink I belong werking in the music industry?!

What's the best?
You. Yes, you are simply the best [better than all the rest].


FitzLikeaGlove said...

Past experrryence I wanna relive: Duh, the day we met silly.

Shoe size: I wear a size 12.5.. Soooo get ready for this jelly, biatch.

First kiss: In my Volvo wagon. SHE leaned over kiss my cheek, then decided to be camp and catch my lips. That crafty minx!!!

Flavor: I'd taste of pistachio and cinnamon .. effing try it before you diss!

My dinner party turned "CLUE" remake (aka: 4 peeps you've probs never heard of): Arthur Rimbaud, Caligula, James Dean, Rudolph Diesel

Food I hated now have a liking for: It's a cop out, but broccoli.


The best?!: Cutting into a fresh piece of construction paper...

Chris D. said...

My Junior year of high school was a bit like your Freshman year of college. I made some amazing friends, and had some amazing experiences. But it was also a tricky time for me.

I am also a 9 1/2. It is a good size. Not too big, not too small, just right.

I have not had very many kisses. I usually need to feel comfortable with someone before I would want that kind of intimacy with them. I am not sure if that is good or bad. I may need to figure that out pretty soon. Ug.

I never liked Artichokes. I think they are even more gross than mushrooms, and mushrooms are pretty gross.

Chris D. said...

FitzLikeaGlove : I know Arthur Rimbaud! Well, not personally. ;) I wish my french were better so I could more easily read his poetry. :( He would be cool dinner companion!

goblinbox said...

Artichokes FTW! I am so serious. Teh YUM.

Mel said...

I didn't never not like artichokes, but I had issues when I was a kid with summer squash and asparagus.

And I wear size 13's. Mah feets is too big for anything smaller.

Tam said...

Well, to answer the age old foot/penis ratio question, it seems the answer is no (or else Mel's husband is a very happy man). :-) On Saturday afternoon there was a show on the health channel called, yes, "The Penis Show". Everything you always wanted to know about the penis and lots you didn't (men produce between 3-5 gallons of ejaculate in a life time - unless you're a porn star then it might be higher). And apparently there is no correlation between penis and shoe size, or hand size, or nose size. However in general taller = longer. Basketball players? Yep. Jockeys? Not so much.

Tasting like caramel creams would be nice. I like Enrico just tastes like candy due to high sugar intake. Not that I'd know. I'm just guessing.

Jere Keys said...

I'm pretty sure I taste like a chocolate martini, but only because I love the dessert-flavored martinis a little too much and have spilled many of them on myself. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to serve a drink that tastes so good and gets you so drunk you can't stand up straight in those triangle-shaped glasses? I'll take my next appletini in a mason jar.

hoteltuesday said...

2. Remember when we found out we had the same shoe size?! Aka you better let me borrow those shoes I tried on cause I love 'em!

3. Do you love how I asked this question even though I already knew the answer?! I just wanted everyone else to know. lol.

4. I thought you said my flavor was white shark bites?!?!

5. LOL!!!!!!

6. A dinner party would obviously feature bubbly water, so Rhonetta was an inspired choice! And you already know Tati is mah gurl.

8. If you're a nerd festival, so am I! I knew exactly what you were talking about the whole time. Isn't it REALLY weird that Brit hasn't been huge on the charts? She is seriously (whether you like her or not) one of the biggest pop stars of all time (Of all time!) and yet she has less #1 hits than The Black Eyed Peas, who will fade into obscurity soon. So weird.

David said...

Gosh, I cannot IMAGINE who asked you about "3".

But, yay! you used one my questions.

Michelle M. said...

I would imagine that Enrico would taste sweet and you would taste spicy (level 7).

john said...

What a maroon I am, I posted a reply to Mel on Hotel Tuesday which should have been here. Size 13 shoe, wow! For a record, size 10 here.

Chris D.: With kisses it's all about quality, not quantity.

I think I taste like chocolate chip cookies.

Melody, Destroyer of Dreams said...

To relive: Huh. I already relive things in my head all the time, hence my addiction to nostalgia.

Shoe size: 8.5.

First kiss: ugh........awkward, high school, chapped lips and chafed face.

Flavor: this point, I must taste like some kind of alcohol. A bitter alcohol. Perhaps some sort of lager with a hint of pumpkin.

My dinner party: Michelangelo (I need to understand how a human can carve the statue of David out of a solid peice of 30 foot marble and I can barely muster that strength to draw something decent once in a while), a megalodon shark (so awesome), Bach before he went blind(duh...genius musician that made me want to play the violin-but I don't want to have to feed him), Vivien Leigh (in my opinion the most stunning actress of all time-but also very troubled). Its quite a mix, but I think if I start off with just the right drink we could all get along.

Food I hated but now like: I really hated cheeseburgers when I was young. I love them now, obvz.

Brit-Brit's "3": ...

The bestest: love. Family, friends, romantic...all of it. That, and some really good pizza.

that's J-O-S-H said...

Fitz: Kissing girlz is gross. Broccoli is derriciouz. Your feet are monsterz.

Chris: Kissing a lot of people is gross! DO. NOT. HOOK. UP!

GoblinBox: Melt some cheeze on those bitchez...mmmmm.

Mel: Assparaguz still tastez like hell to me. And squash is derriciouz!

Tam: I want to see "The Penis Show!" I better be on it.

Jere: I've never had a dessert martini! I need to remedy that sooooon.

E. Copterz: BEP = snoooore, vomz, snoooooore again.

David: I used two of ur preguntaz actually, dear.

Michelle: I'm actually on the cusp between level 6 and level 7. Don't give me tooooo much credit.

John: What kind of cookiez? Chewy (aka good) or hard (aka disappointin').

Melody: The shark would eat you all for dinner! Weeee!

Julia said...

hahahahaha ok:

1. uhhh i don't know!

2. i'm a size 7ish!

3. my first kiss was great! i was a pro from the beginning.

4. i'd probably taste like vanilla, plain simple and to the point.

5. reading poetry with you, DUH.

6. Anais Nin, Henry Miller, Carlos Castaneda, and Dylan Thomas.

7. Stilton cheese!

8. i don't speak pop culture. you're going to have to explain that one to me.

9. I saw a drag queen performing this song last week. HAHAHa tina <3

MISS YOU a lot.


john said...

Josh: Home made chewy chocolate chip cookies of course.