Monday, September 21, 2009

My Monday Muse


Firstly, I HATE breakfast. Wafflez, pancakez, french toast...VOMZ! Having too much sweetness en la mañana makes me want to die. Other mornin' type delicaciez like eggz, cereal and pork roll (one of my favo tings en the entire mundo!) I lurrrrrve, but will only have after noon. For some reason, eating before then makes me hate myself and feel sick. Whatevz! I personally tink it is mah body's ingrained attempt at keeping me pleasantly thin emaciated. However! Denny's has tried to toy with mi corazon by creating a breakfast soooo irresistible that I just might have to break my eating routine. They have created the world's greatest fruit-based being [sorry Richard Simmonz] and put his sexxxy ass on top of a stack of otherwise disgusting pancakez! Try not to drool all over tu computadora!

Wait...whhaaaaaaaaaat?! Twas all a filthy bastard lie?! GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST?!? Ew! I'm gonna beef everywhere! Ug! NannerPuss is the only kind of breakfast that I would ever eat...poppy music theme song and puppetry! That's how I want to start my morningz. Apparently I'm not the only artard in the world that wantz to be in a bestiality relationshit with Mr. Puss! There are prox a million remixez and reduxez on the interwebz that people have done to honor this breakfast deity:

Coolest. Baby. Ever.

Demonic Dance Remix!

The Assassination of NannerPuss [aka the worst day of mah life]

[RIP NannerPuss]


hoteltuesday said...

Are we the same person? I HATE BREAKFAST TOO!!!!
Except for cereal, which I LOVE!

I hate that Nannerpuss blinds himself!

And the name is dumb. Doesn't that translate to "grandmother's vagina"?

And WHY DOES THAT LOOK YUMMY TO YOU?? It's a banana, on top of pancakes....

john said...

Enrico: More accurately, it is half a banana in its peel on pancakes! Gross.

I have a friend who's husband calls her "Nannerpuss" She hates it.

I like breakfast food, but I'm not a big eater in the morning. Breakfast for dinner, however, is one of the best things in the world. So good in fact, I may have to suggest that for dinner tonight or tomorrow.

Tam said...

Huh. Well am I the only one who noticed in the evil remix he has a giant boner which rips in half and goes limp? That's gotta hurt. That is the weirdest thing ever, well, probably not ever but weird.

I like breakfast although places like Denny's and IHOP always make it sound more appealing and you order it and it's kind of gag-worthy. I like toast and jam or Nutella. Boring.

Michelle M. said...

The atomic bomb made me laugh. That baby is pretty darn cute.

I don't eat breakfast either. I do like hash browns and waffles, but it has to be late at night (preferably after I've been drinking).

David said...

OMG Michelle are we the same person, I loved the atomic bomb, too!!!!

The demonic mix was genius. I loved all the subliminal LOL cats.

I have to have breakfast or else I get a headache and then light-headed. But I'm not so much a fan of the sweet. I like cereal and I love eggs florentine. Oh and I make a great frittata.

Polt said...

I don't eat breakfast if I'm not working, but when I go to work, I get some milk and a Tastycake cherry pie from a local store and eat those.

And Enrickyricardo, you read my mind, the whole time I'm thinking "doesn't that mean granny's va-ja-ja?"


Soul Seared Dreamer said...

Well if it makes you feel any more normal - I'm not a big fan of breakfast but I do try to eat something.. usually a yogurt or something. Anything heavier makes me sickly. Cereals are nice sometimes.

that's J-O-S-H said...

E. Copterz: It's not the food itself that getz me a-grumblin' but the wonderful ditty that accompaniez it! Guess what? I LIKE PAAAAAANCAKEZ!

John: Yo, for awhile, when I would come home from Nueva Nueva, I work make mahself some derriciouz omelettes. Fill those bitches with onionz and cheese and I'm one happy sunofa-sunofa!

Tam: My freshmen year roommate was literally OBSESSED (feat. Mariah Carey) with Nutella. Our room would either reek of Nutella or curry. Guess which one I preferred.

Michelle: One time when I came back to my house completely effing shwasted, I ate an entire quart of [cold] mashed potatoez that I swiped from my restaurant the night befo.

David: We have frittataz @ my restaurant. Or as I like to call dem "Nelly Frittataz." They change every Sunday. Last week we had one that feat. salmon, cream cheese & leek. I died. And then ate five pieces.

Polt: Going into Nueva Nueva in the morning, I used to stop @ a Au Bon Pain in the Port Authority and get a ting of Muesli...but that got expensive, so now I just starve to death.

Soul Seared: Cereal is usually what I eat for dinner when I get home late from working in the city. It's easy, derriciouz and requires close-to-no thinking to prepare.