Saturday, August 15, 2009

I'm not the piano man.

I don't claim to know how to play the piano. I've alwayz wanted to be one of those uber-talented gringoz who can sit down at the ivories and just tap-tap-tap a great little ditty that has everyone crowd around me while marveling @ my magic fingaz. But alas, I am not and the few times I've tried to learn to play the piano I always got frustrated and gave up. I played the bass guitar in a band in high school, and while I love the bass (and really need to pick it up again), I always found the piano to be sexxxy. Sensitive, yet powerful. Profound and crafty. I WANT TO BE THE NEXT REGINA SPEKTOR / FIONA APPLE / RUFUS WAINWRIGHT / VANESSA CARLTON...

...oh! Speaking of which! When I was a freshman (and boy, was I fresh!) in college, Ms. Carlton released a brillz song called "White Houses." It's all about growing up and coming to terms with your maturity and it's all nostalgic and beautiful and makez me cry [like dat's hard to do]. It;s wonderfully metaphorical and got banned from MTV cuz V. Carlton talkz about losing her virginity and having her Bloody Mary erupt. Just like my freshman year! Well, except I don't gotz a hymen.

So anyone, it was my obsession that year that my dorm peepz had to listen to on repeat for weeks on end. I discovered a (terribly outta-tuned) piano that was in the lounge of my dormitory, so I slowly but surely began to tinker away @ learning the song. Once I did, I forced everyone I knew to listen to me play it. But then I went through college and slowly lost the time to practice and once I graduated and moved into Shawn's house, I lost any opportunity to use a piano.

UNTIL NOW! [sound hornz and start da parade!] Mah sister found her old keyboard from when she was a teenager and was nice enough to let me borrow it! I am by no meanz a talented musician, but I thought "What the hay?" and posted below two videos of me fucking up otherwise gorgeous songz.

Vanessa Carlton - "White Houses"

Kelly Clarkson - "Already Gone"


Jere Keys said...

The last song I taught myself on the piano was "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from The Little Mermaid. I would make an awesome Ursula the Sea Witch.

Tam said...

Well you're no Billy Joel but not too bad at all. Better than I could manage. I don't have the ability to make two hands do two different things at the same time. Kind of that "rub your tummy/pat your head" disability.

I never really liked White Houses though, kind of annoyed me. Yeah yeah, white houses, buy some freaking paint if you don't like them, get over it. Oh yeah, I'm sensitive like that.

Chris D. said...

Wow! Great job! Once again you inspire me to try to do more. I wanted to learn piano. But I never got past Love Me Tender. :( I like White Houses. I think you did a nice job with it. At the end of the song it almost looked like you were going to strip for us. ;)

john said...

Your singing and piano playing are far better than mine! I wish that were more of a compliment than it is, but sad to say it is not.

The on going commentary killed me (Belt it bitch!) and I love that you quoted You're So Vain! I also loved the little dance at the end of White Houses.

callonmevalerie said...

It took me a while to figure out what song you were dancing to at the end, because the melody that came in sounded just like Livin' On A Prayer. Then I figured it out.

You need to make a video of just you screaming at things (feat. ugly people we went to HS with).

I'm glad that White Houses (feat. C Major) made it onto your blog. Now I have to watch the other one.

callonmevalerie said...

On a serious note, you are actually good, Josh. I actually noted that your voice has gotten better. (Not that you weren't an American Idol upheaval victory before, but you know what I mean).

Also, you labeled the last song incorrectly. It's actually called "Already Gone (Beyonce Halo Remix) (Ryan Tedder Criticism Overdub Extended Play),

I also died at the "why am I not wearing pantz?!" comment. BECAUSE WE'RE BOTH LADY GAGA AND DON'T WEAR PANTZ TO APPEASE OUR STALKER-STALKERAZZI

Nathan V said...

I used to "play" the piano all the time 'cause my parents had one. I would tinkle away on it whenever I waddled past. However, I've hardly touched it in two years, and I recently discovered that my skillz have dive bombed and I can no longer play anythign of value. Sigh.

We used to have a little yamaha keyboard too. The unweighted plastic keys still make me vom.

Piano playing was better for vanessa. Practice will make better.

hoteltuesday said...

You played White Houses for me at TCNJ!!! And yeah, those T/W pianos are soooo out of tune!

Jere: "Poor Unfortunate Souls" is my favorite Disney song! Love it! Please do it with me at karaoke!

Polt said...

Way back before you were even a sassy twinkle in yo mama's eye, I took piano lessons. Was pretty good at it too as I recall. I belted out a helluva impressive "The Entertainer" and "Fur Elise".

However, once more to no one's surprise, I've never heard of these songs. :( I DID however very much enjoy the "Venus" dancing!

And I think the KPIB (Karaoke/Piano Playing In your Boxers) was a very nice touch. :)


David said...

I took piano for nine years and even won some awards, but I could NEVER play and sing at the same time. Very impressed.

Anonymous said...

Just love the dancing in the first video, ya baby you got it! As for the 2nd one, I think you did a fantastic job. I mean it! Your voice had a smoothness and softness to it during that one, nothing was forced. It just sounded really natural and light! Good job!


Julia said...

my roommates and i just listened to your vids and we all think your supa supa talented. and a really good dancer! maybe you should apply to be one of lady gaga's backround dancers.

Michelle M. said...

I never progressed beyond "Fur Elise" (I have the two hands which cannot do different things simultaneously syndrome Tam mentioned). I can pick out any song with one hand, though. Anyway, I'm impressed you can play, sing and throw out witty asides at the same time. I was considering getting a puppy, but now I want a Josh.

that's J-O-S-H said...

Jere: You must be her for Helloween dis year.

Tam: Way to crush mah dreamz! "White Houses" was MY LIFE five yearz ago!

Chris: I'm only a stripper in my daydreamz.

Val: "ugly people we went to hs with" = "everyone we went to hs with"

Nathan: I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THE KEYZ!!! They make the most atrocious slapping sound when the are pushed and released!

John: Tanx for the compliment! When/Where should I send that CD?!

E. Copterz: Oh yes...I remember when I played that for you and was trying soooo hard to impress you with my mediocre musical skillz.

Polt: Is it bad that I have no idea what "The Entertainer" or "Fur Elise" is, yet several peepz have mentioned it?!

David: YOU impressed with ME?! I am still crying inside over your moving rendition of "I Don't Mind." [I'm serious]

Cindy: That's sweet of you to say, even though you have to cuz you're mi hermana! :D

Julia (feat. roommatez): hellz yeah, I'd LURVE to grind my taint up against Lady GaGa's no-no zone.

Michelle: Special this week - Joshes are only $2.99! Pick yours up today!

Melody, Destroyer of Dreams said...

lolz...amazing. Thats all I can say about the whole thing! Dinner in a week in two days!!!

learn piano songs said...

These video is good...But you can improve more. I am good professional in piano so i am saying this. Anyways nice blog and video.

Dorkys Ramos said...

Oh snap with the skills! You know, to this day I want to learn the choreography to white houses, but I don't think I'd be able to manage her moves without some strings pulling me up.

LatinKink said...

Honestly? That was really good. Fun, relaxx, easy listening. I'd buy a CD of it. If you make one, better make sure I can get it somehow.

No kiddin. I liked it a lot.