Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Q+A!

I'm tired of writing all the time. I'm lazy and running out of tingz to blog about...Oh hell, I'm a huge fucking liar, I can't get enough trash-talking! But I do want to try and make my blog more interactive with the handful of people that visit it semi-regularly. Also, since I work crazzzy long horaz Tues-Thurz, I feel like my blog gets often times neglected during the week. So thereforez I am instituting a string of short theme postz where I will ask a rando question of sortz, answer it mahself and then leave it up to you beautiful commenterz to share your own little storiez while answering! It's like effing elementary school morning circle[jerk] all ova again! Memoriez! I want to get to know you all a little better, and what better way to do that than ask irrelevant and sporadic questionz?! For this first entry, I thought I'd pick a question that I know everyone will be able to answer...


What's your least favorite song?

And I don't mean a song that irritatez you a bit (Eiffel 65's "Blue (Da Ba Dee)") or a song that got hardcore played out on the radio (Santana & Rob Thomas' "Smooth") or even a song that's just fucking stupid (Vitamin C's "Graduation (Friends Forever)")...I mean a song so incredibly terrible to you that when you heard it for the first time it ate a cancerous hole into your psyche where it sitz and waits to make you feel faint and ill everytime you hear it.

Now, anyone that knowz my dopey butt is aware that I love pop music. All genrez of music are respected in my music library, but crappy pop music is alwayz one of my favz. And flash-in-the-pan has-beenz & one-hit wonderz?! I can't live without them! Samantha Mumba, Kandi, SoulDecision, Craig David, The Darkness...all of these artists had their shining moment of fame, only to become a faded star in the all-encompassing blackhole that is my Windows Media Player music library. But there is a one-hit wonder out there that never got any guilty pleasure lovin' outta my magic stick. A song so terrible that hearing it puts me in a dizzying spell of vertigo. I knew from the second I heard dis song that there would never be another track in the world that I could hate with as much venom as I do this one. And that song is...

Len's "Steal My Sunshine"

VOOOOOOOOOOOOOMZZZZZZZ! Ew. Chunkz are everywhere and I need to go fetch my ShamWow and do some spot cleaning. Serial though, my history with this song is a short one that is not terribly complicated or all the interesting. Anyone that has heard this song (if you were lucky enough to miss out on it when it bubonic plagued America back in 1999, then click on the song title above and prepare for a headache) knowz that it's one of those SuMmAtImE JaMzzzZZzZZz that everyone blasts for three months before archiving to the back of your brain along with "She Bangs" and "I Wanna Be Bad." In all due respect to Len (yeah...who?!), the song is technically a good pop song. A clever hook, upbeat tempo and a feel-good vibe that is fun to get drunk and singalong to. But there is something ingrained in my head that refuses to make me not feel violently frustrated when it comez on. Perhaps it's the dude's gross raspy frat-guy smoking-a-clove voice, or those odd swirling synth soundz that loop throughout the backing track of the chorus, but whateva it is, I am not exaggerating when I say that my templez start to pound when this monstrous tune from hell crawlz out of the 90s and reinfiltrates the radio once every summer. It's like an apocalyptic groundhog!



Ok, so now we all know that "Steal My Sunshine" by Len is my own personal culling song, so tell me, what song do you hope getz erased from the history bookz and forever damned to nonexistence?! Tink long and hard and then post!

28 comments:

Jere Keys said...

No need to think long and hard.

Barbie Girl by Aqua.

And for the record, I hated this song even before I began associating it with a certain ex-boyfriend who played the boy role in a drag performance of this song.

hoteltuesday said...

Other than every song ever by Ludacris or the Pussycat Dolls, my real least fave song ever is probz "Who Lets The Dogs Out"! Ugh! HATE HATE HATE that song. Anytime it comes on in a commercial (or Disney movie) or is even referenced, I scream in pain.

FDot said...

Awww..I kind of like Steal My Sunshine....mostly for the hook it uses from the Andrea True Connection. It works in Go though.

My worst song is easy:

"Mo Money Mo Problems" by The Notorious B.I.G. I was working in the NYC school system when he died and everyone started playing/singing that song. I really came to hate it and the whole Hip Hop/Rap genre.

john said...

I'm with FDot on Len and for the same reason, the Andrea True sample (More, more, more! How do you like it? How do you like it?" - Often, personally.)

The song I hate is "The Freshmen" by The Verve Pipe. Worst. Song. Ever.

Jere: I hoped you listened to more Aqua than "Barbie Girl". There is sooo much more to them than that song. They make some fantastic pop music. I sent Josh one of their songs recently.

Chris D. said...

The Christmas Shoes. It is a celebration of our societies' misguided moral mindset and materialism. Yuck! Every Christmas season I am haunted by that hideous stupid song all over the radio. Can't someone just make it go away?!?!

Michelle M. said...

"Come on Eileen" by Dexys Midnight Runners. The horror.

*and the overalls without the shirts underneath in the video. Ugh.

Milo said...

Luther Vandross 'Dance with my father'. Totally over-played by the radio station I like (Magic FM) and it's just too sentimental and corny for me.

My favourite stuff is 80s & 90s. Don't really like any contemporary stuff.

john said...

Chris D.: I completely agree! It kills me when I meet people who love it and find it so sad. Horrible, horrible song.

Michelle M.: Come on Eileen? I barely know her!

that's J-O-S-H said...

Jere: I don't completely despise that song...I mean, the girl in Aqua makes some pretty awesome pouty faces @ the camera during the video! And music video posing is one of my most sought after skillz!

Enricoz: I hate that Baha Men song and how every children's show adopted it even though is blatantly sexual/stupid.

FDot: B.I.B. [mispelling but it totez stays] always terrified me so I may have heard a sec of that song ONCE, but then turned it off and cried.

John: ThE FrEShMan!!! OmGawdz! In high school, everyone was like "yo brah, you gotz ta check out dis song. It's epic." It's one of those "really deep & complex" songz that everyone tinkz they are supposed to love and the really arty kids will pretend like they understand the lyrix even though they made little sense. Though I still find mahself listening to it when I'm a sad newz bear. Guess I still like to revel in pubescent emotionz!

Chris D.: I tink I know what song you speak of, but I also tink that the second I heard someone on the radio say "Christmas Shoes," I would immediately switch off the radio. What a cornfestival!

Michelle: That's the attire I'm gonna get married in aka Reason #218 That I Am Single.

Milo: I can't help but be creeped out by that title. I know the song is all about nostalgia and whateva whateva blow chunkz whateva, but the title is just very upsetting and makes me tink of incest. Sick nasty.

Polt said...

I kinda like "Steal My Sunshine", its in the movie "Go." And "Come On Eileen" reminds me of my childhood. And Michelle, if you've got the body for it, overalls without shirts is just fine. :)

My least favorite song..."Against All Odds" Phil COllins. It caused a split between me and a good friend that never fully healed. Plus its just slow, and sappy, and boring as all get out.

HUGS...

Ryan said...

I own Souldecision's CD!

I definitely hate "Who Let the Dogs Out." So stupid, so popular. "Barbie Girl" is catchy and annoying.

I hate Next's "Too Close." It makes me feel dirty. Strangely, I don't get this feeling from Blue's cover of it. Maybe it's because I wouldn't mind Lee Ryan getting too close.

M. Nicodemus said...

Ugh! So many bad songs; Who let the dogs out and Barbie Girl are HORRIBLE! Although I do kinda like Steal my Sunshine, it is fun and up-beat and brainless, exactly how I like my men (ba-da-dum!) But seriously...

I absolutely cannot stand; and I know this will revoke my gay card; Wannabe by the Spice Girls. The first time I heard it I couldn't believe how this crap could be made, yet I also knew it was destined to be a huge hit. *Sigh* where did society go wrong?

Ryan said...

I also don't like the Spice Girls.

Craig said...

Aw, I LOVE Steal My Sunshine!

I'm with Chris: Christmas Shoes is by far the worst song ever.

Christina said...

L
A
T
E
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that week!!!!!

lOLErcLoptErK8s!

Craig said...

I'd also like to add anything sung by Jessica Simpson.

that's J-O-S-H said...

Polt: That song is annoying, though the Postal Service did do a pretty sweet cover...very understated.

Ryan: I guess we are the only two choloz in the entire world to own that SoulDecision CD. I love it, esp. "Ooh It's Kinda Crazy." CLASSIC!

Nico: I don't understand that Spice Girls song...it's talking about a romantic relationship one second, and then switches to being about "fRiEndZ fOrEvA!" Confused!

Craig: Especially her butchering cover of "Angels" by Robbie Williams. Holy shet...it sounds like a cat being slowly eaten alive by fire ants.

Xtina: So I missed a million milez of fun! ::barfz::

Michelle M. said...

I have SoulDecision too! Yay! I bought it for the song "Faded". Indeed I did.

And I thought of another one: "Jump Around" House of Pain. Pain is right. That "noise" makes my ears cry tears of blood.

I also hate that Licky Boom Boom song.

And Come On Eileen has now taken up residence in my noggin. Thanks A LOT Josh. Evil!

Amy said...

Anything by Nickelback, but especially that obscenely annoying song "Rock Star" or whatever that was way overplayed ...and oh geez why is it so bad? The lyrics are oh-so creative ...ewwww

Tam said...

I spent all day thinking about this yesterday (a loooong drive with lots of time to think) and I had trouble coming up with something I hate as opposed to the innumerable useless pieces of drivel out there, but I thought of Gwen Stefani's Wind It Up. Even her hotness can not bring yodeling back in style. Please, just stop.

hoteltuesday said...

I agree with Amy. Nickelback is super annoying. And their songs all sound the same!

john said...

Amy: YES! Nickelback suuuuucks!

that's J-O-S-H said...

Michelle: "Faded (feat. Thrust)" is epic. I adore that song and it's cheesy video (feat. computer generated city) (the is that necessary remix?)

Amy: I'm glad you brought up Nickelback. And by bringing up Nickelback, you brought up my lunch ::vomz, then diez::

Tam: Oh...I forgot about that one. That song is the epitome of suck. Seriously...is it even a song? I feel like "Wind It Up" is like listening to the radio and having two or three stations get spliced together due to bad reception. You're like...is this one song or a hideous mashing of multiple tracks due to this thunderstorm?

Ryan said...

I checked iTunes when I got home. I hadn't listened to most of Souldecision's songs since 2007.

Craig said...

Oh, and I HATE Gives You Hell by All American Rejects. It just stinks of sour grapes!

p!nk said...

Somebody hates Against All Odds?! I think, stripped down and without the overtly 80's overtly dramatic reveb on everything on that track, that it's a quiet a lovely song.

You know what's my least favorite song ever?! That goddamn version of the 12 Days of Christmas that comes on, where everyone's bitching about what they hate about the holiday season, and goes on for WAY too long (like the original), and ends with everyone screaming in frustration. WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO RECORD?! My favorite/least favorite part of that song is the guy screaming, "HANGOVERS!!"

Anonymous said...

The theme song from the show Friends, for sure. Not that I ever watched it, it annoyed the hell out of me, but the song used to be played on the radio big time!

-Cindy

Melody, Destroyer of Dreams said...

Rest In Pieces by Saliva can kiss my ass. Aactually, everything that band ever shat out can take a long walk off a short cliff.

I also REALLY dislike anything by Everclear.