Anyway, I think he's supa hot and his faux-enthusiasm for artarded products makes my trigger switch get even testier. Take a look @ his famous advert for ShamWow:
Please take note of the genius testimonialz and how beautiful all the cholaz are that they interview. Funny how they all have hard-onz for the ShamWow, yet seem to be at some sort of garage sale for it, holding unwrapped packages of this God towel. They must love them so much that they all jump in their old lady vanz and follow the ShamWow convention around the country like a bunch of hungry groupiez! If Vince was there, you know my stupid ass would be driving worldwide, buying every last ShamWow they had.
Of course beauty and genius are two tingz that don't go ignored, so here are several hilarz parodiez of this aforeposted infomercial:
I'm so strong! Eeerrrrrrgggg!
Jesus Christ Sponge!
Oh no! Party foul! No, I'm just kidding, I'm doing this on purpose.
That nose is gonna pop open...like a butterfly!
b. Baby Carrot + Celery + Tomato = Salad, a fine substitution for pizza.
c. What begetz a borrrring life? Boring tuna, you idiot!
d. Hard-boiled Egg + Pickle + Green Onion + Ham = Breakfast[?] & an Exciting Life!
e. I'm gonna love his nutz...oh well, I already knew dat.
f. Life is hard enough as it is, and I don't want to cry anymore! Murder an onion!
g. The key to making America not fat anymore is slapping, lotz and lotz of slapping.
h. The accompanying cheese-slicing device, the Graty, can be used to make tacoz, frettuccine, linguine, martini AND bikini!
Between the ShamWow, SlapChop, Graty and daddy Vince's domestic abuse, there really is NOTHING else I need in life. Well, maybe some self-respect, but that's asking a lot.