I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.
One of my favorite people in the entire [VH1 Celebreality] world has to be the deity above, Ms. Saaphyri Windsor. She was on Flavor of Love 2 for prox two seconds before she was kicked out for beating some white whore who stole her bed. She then went on to win Flavor of Love Girls: Charm School, which is by far one of my favorite shows in the entire world ever. Why in the holy name of hell is it not on DVD yet? For fucking out loud, it drew in high numbers for VH1, plus there are DVD series of every other stupid Flavor Flav show and their accompanying spin-offs!
Anyway, Saaphyri is perfection and I'd thought as an early Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa present to anyone that happened to stumble upon this blog, I'd share the infamous aftermath showdown between my love and that dumb powderpuff slut that caused the too-soon ousting of my beautiful muse.
ps...her lip chap is poppin'!
Solange - "Sandcastle Disco"
I believe Kevin turned me onto this song sometime over the summer. I've been progressively listening to it more and more as the months go on. The video is a fucking trip and a half with crazy outfits, interactive cartoons and epileptic dancing. There's also a giant baby. Anyway, the song itself is pretty refreshing itself. Channeling a more old-school up-beat R&B style, the song has a "classic in the modern age" feel to it. Solange handles the low notes well and easily keeps up to pace with her sister. My favorite part of the song? When she glamor-pusses the camera and moans "DON'T BLOW ME BABY!" during the bridge.
Jason Mraz - "I'm Yours"
This song has been out for a long time now and even though I heard it as early as last spring, I've only just recently become quite attached to it. I think Mraz's recent Grammy nomination for Song of the Year is what shot it back to the front of my brain. I always am cognizant of which songs are nominated for this specific award, because of the attention that it focuses on lyrics. Having to do with how the song reads and looks on paper as opposed to how the final recording sounds, the nominees always are filled with thoughtful and creative lyrics. Well, I read them over and after I "Aww"ed over how sickeningly sweet they are, I started to become addicted to the simple melody, gentle island tempo and Mr. A-Z's trademark vocal scatting and hurdle-jumping.
Forgive Durden - "Life Is Looking Up"
The latest CD by once-band-now-solo-project Forgive Durden is a concept musical that must be approached with an acknowledgment that it will most definitely be different than anything the band has done. In the vein of other successes like Pink Floyd's The Wall or Coheed & Cambria's entire catalogue, Razia's Shadow is the transplanting of an extreme auditory experience within a narrative frame. It's a moving and captivating story of love, death and good versus evil (I swear it's not as cliche as that soundzzz!) This song is particular really captures the grandness of a theatrical production with majestic vocals and instrumentation popping out every which way. Deep rushed strings collide with demanding percussion while a story unfolds in front of the listener. A lot of sound that is handled very well within the confines of a singular song. Though it is a little uncomfortable to take this one track out of the home of the album, it still stands on its own as an example of the talents of sole member Thomas Dutton.
Beyoncé - "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)"
Everyone in the world knows this song now. It is number one on the Billboard Hot 100 and for good reason. Catchy and empowering lyrics matched with an absolutely unavoidable beat with a surprisingly menacing bass synth makes this POP GOLD. Plus, the video and its choreography is mad hott and has been copied by gays, the morbidly obese, Alaskans and that who must not be mentioned. But who am I to judge? Kevin can tell you that I too have been caught dancing to it [my fav move is the fist-pumping march seen at :43 on the original video].
Janet Jackson - "Rock With U"
So Janet, Ms. Jackson (if you're nasty) hasn't been having the greatest luck recently with her music career. Her past two-three albums haven't sold nearly as well as the monster hit All For You did back when I was still in high school. It's a shame, because this track is pretty effing delish. A hypnotic nigh-club dance track that features
lazy seductive vocals by Janet is the kind of tune I want to get drunk and strip to. The video is dark, sexy, a little scary and really highlights how short Damita Jo is. It's a travesty this didn't really make it in the United States, but I believe that it was a much bigger success across the pond in the UK. I guess us Americans just can't appreciate a good ecstasy dance pill like those Europeans.
Check It Out:
Missy Elliott's "Hit Em with da Hee" (sample starts at 3:12)
Virgania Horsen's Pony Express
Looks like this mail is gonna get there early.
And yes, I am a little obsessed with Kristen Wiig.
Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway
The album itself is probably one of my favorite female pop vocalist records of all time -- and trust me that I a good portion of my music library is composed of such -- and it won like 3 Grammys or sumthin' sumthin'. It had five and a half singles (they TOTALLY should have full-fledged released "Gone") and it was definitely a huge step of maturity for K. Clarkson. But the album cover still boggles me after all these years. She looks like she is fishing her head out of toilet after a night of binge-drinking. Her hair is a mess, her face is way too airbrushed to be even considered authentic (though her roxxors nose-piercing still remains quite prominent...hmmm), from this angle the bridge of her nose makes her look like one of those troll dolls and her arms look like flesh-colored tree stumps holding her disembodied head. What further grates my tenderz is the fact that the international release cover (seen here) is a beautiful shot of the singer that still has a little edge to it with wind-swept hair and a longing stare, while keeping Kelly from looking drunk as an effing skunk.
The Pussycat Dolls' PCD
Another disc that just didn't stop putting out hits...no matter how obnoxious and whorish they were. The album cover is actually quite a nice shot of the group. The font is nice that their name is written in and the girls look pretty enough, except for red-headed Little Miss Fugs-A-Lot all the way on the left (sorry Carmit!). My main problema with the album cover is a small one that resonates in a big way. What the fuck is with the ghostly blue shimmering light that is exploding from behind
sole lead vocalist Nicole Scherenzingeroniandcheese? Is it supposed to be some sort of spotlight? Then why are they in front of it? And why is the light especially prominent around Nicole's waste? I mean, duh, we get it. She's hot and the ring-leader of this sex-pot singing slut circus, but could they make it anymore obvious that she is the only one that matters? They should just change the name from "The Pussycat Dolls" to "Nicole Scherenzingersausageandcheesesandwich & Some Other Hoes that Do Something Sometimes", but I guess they go with what sounds good as opposed to the truth.
Fergie's The Dutchess
Firstly, being that I was an English major in college, I really need to point out my dismay and my general confusion as to why "duchess" is spelled wrong. I really don't see the point of it or if it's a play on words or anything clever at all. Secondly, Fugalicious is humping a pillow, on a bed, in heeled short-boots. Her pose is terrible and her face is worst. Fergie's face, to me, has always looked like the unfortunate meshing of Carmen Electra, Frankie Muniz and a groundhog, after a night of snorting meth. But aside from her looking like herself, the whole cover shot is just poorly designed and the colors suck and everything is a mess. It looks like a fan-made cover that some loser did for a contest (Fall Out Boy, anyone?). And another thing, what's with the featured singles being listed on the cover?! They usually have those kind of things on a sticker that can be removed with some Goo-Gone. Not actually printed on the CD booklet itself. Did they think that after people removed the packaging and listened to the CD they'd have to remind everyone as to why they bought the CD and be all like "No wait! Don't throw out it out yet! Remember "Fergalicious" and "Clumsy"?! You liked them when you heard them on the radio! They're on here!!!"
Park that car.
Drop that phone.
Sleep on the floor.
Dream about me.
Welcome To My Home: Part I
"I do not blink. Not at all. Good for me!"
Welcome To My Home: Part II
"I never met a carrot I didn't like, except for this one!"
Welcome To My Award
"I eat sea monkeys because I can always make more."
Welcome To My Holiday
Welcome To My Face Off
"I said put on a swimsuit, not take a whore-bath."
Welcome To My Evil Twin
"This will be tough, but try playing a virgin.
"And this is the day I make you mine."
Fall Out Boy's Infinity On High
This debacle of chaotic mayhem won some sort of online album cover contest that the FOB boys pimped on their site. Apparently talentless nobodies were told to submit ridiculous and awkward album covers for the foursomes upcoming CD. Some nerd festival under the name "PT WNTZ" shoved a bunch of crap into a room, put wings on a sheep and used like five different Photoshop features to make this piece of "art". I had FOB's previous discs and it is def a good thing I liked them and that my friend burned me a copy of Infinity On High, because with this nonsensical and too-left-of-center-to-the-point-of-it-just-being-obnoxious cover I would have just rick-rolled my eyes and moved on past it at the store.
Alicia Key's The Diary of Alicia Keys
I don't really care that this CD got buttloads of praise and that half the world has it and that it's won a bunch of awards. Blah blah. I know Keys is a talented songwriter/pianist/singer, but this album cover has plagued my mind for the past four years. I just don't get it. It looks like she's dead lying under the piano staring blankly up. What is going on? Is the piano and its shit-stained keys supposed to be like a separate border for the left side of the cover? If so, why is it so big? Is it supposed to look like a crappy composite shot? Then mission accomplished. I hope whoever mad it flunked out of graphic design school and now flips burgers. I just don't get it. I really find it hard to believe that this is the absolute best cover that could have been come up with. Lame and poorly conceived.
I wasn't aware that Leatherface did album covers.