Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Wario Comeback Special

Kevin showed me this video last night. Holy about awesome advertising. I don't want to give anything away, but this online ad is pretty much one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time and I'm still scratching my head over how they did it exactly.

oh, and Wario always one of my favorite Nintendo characters.

ps...I just realized you can interact with it and pick shiz up! TEN EXTRA POINTS!


Friday, November 28, 2008


Yahoo! creates these silly topical movie slideshow galleries and I loved their latest (Most Fucked-Up Film Families) for including the Burnhams, Leatherface's crew and (my favorite) Divine's meat-smuggling, shit-eating, trailer park-living clusterfuck of a brood from Pink Flamingos.

It sucks you in.

Wow...I don't think in the history of television that there ever has been a hyptonizing black hole as addicting as the entire BRAVO! TV network. Between Top Chef, Project Runway, Work Out, The Real Housewives of [insert luxurious town] and those like five real estate, house renovation shows, I find my ass planted onto Kevin's couch for hours on end watching these faux celebrities talk about how difficult their lives are. With the exception of Project Runway and Top Chef, most of the shows are basically just about gross rich snobs with too much money and too little to do.

But how can I complain? I'd be a hypocrite to condemn it completely...I'm watching Million Dollar Listing: Hollywood right now. I have no idea what's going on but damn everyone sure looks mad glamz. GEEEZ! Life sure can be FAB! ::pukes::

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Maybe it's because I'm a Pisces.

When things are bothering me, as much as I try, I can't seem to concentrate on anything else. This is frustrating and I end up wasting so much time just thinking.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

And to think that it all started with chickens.

I watched an absolutely fantastic film this evening that Kevin got off of Netflix. It was City of God, and may I just say that I haven't been so engrossed and unsettled by a film in a very long time. Based on a true story, it follows the life of protagonist Rocket as he grows up in a corrupt and impoverished community in Brazil. The film feels not really "acted" by a "cast of characters" but actually lived by real individuals. The raw filming style was sometimes harsh and hard to swallow, but always evoking. The story's ability to branch off into mini-segments to highlight specific individuals was very commendable in a film of such a large magnitude of this, and it was successful and very effective in its presentation. To see the corrupt ways in which society can come to function provides quite a disturbing view of society and to notice that by the end of the film that there actually is no resolution but just a progression and eventually repeating of the errors of the past is terrifying and boldly honest. This is definitely one of the best films I have seen in probably a few years, maybe ever. I'd recommend it to anyone that has a soul to feel for the heartache and plight of the human race at the mercy of its own power.

the first cut is the deepest...and it fucking hurts too.

excuse me in advance for the lack of capitalization during this entry. last night, towards the end of my shift at the restaurant, i slip in the kitchen while holding a handful of wine glasses. said glasses shattered upon me hitting the floor, thus deeply cutting my poor innocent left hand. luckily i washed it underwater right away and i am almost positive that there is no glass left in the cut. i dosed it with peroxide and covered it up with butterfly bandages and shit. it hurts like a bitch a little bit when i move my hand too fast, hence why i am only using my right hand to type, hence why i am careless with attempting to use the shift key to make capital letters. however, i think it should be alright. i went to kev's house right after it and sulked about how effing lame life can be some most of the time. i am feeling a little better, but i'm still a little down and pissed that lefty is temporarily an invalid. righty will pick up the slack while his bro is recovering (they are mad tight). this accident has made me reflect on a lot of heavily weighted topics like the fragility of our bodies and how delicate our lives are, but i won't bore whoever is reading this with such meandering bull. i'm done moping online for now.

kudos to me for getting this much written in fifteen minutes with just uno mano.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Fix your eyes and get out while you can.

I'm on a break from my double at the restaurant. It was rather busy, with me and my co-worker doing a total of 36 people by ourselves. And I've realized that being busy doesn't always equate to being exhausted and pissed off by the end of the shift. My demeanor regardless of how many people I end up serving is really based around how the people I am serving treat me. And all was going great until I had this one particular customer. A man, roughly around the age of 60 or so came in. He had a bottle of champagne. He was meeting another fellow though, and I can't help but be a little irritated with people who bring a whole bottle of champagne to a noon...with only one other person dining with them. Seems slightly pompous. Anyway, I brought over his chicken and sprout croissant sandwich and the second I heard the clink of the plate onto the table he started ranting about the half a pickle that lay on his plate. ", no no. I detest pickles." I find the world "detest" to be slightly extreme and overly serious for a matter of disliking a food. He then demanded that I not only remove it from his plate, but that I get rid of anything it touches.................I dislike mushrooms. I know they are good for me and that they are a very versatile and nutritious food. But I still don't like them. However, if I was at a restaurant and received something that had mushrooms in it without specifically asking the server to omit them, I would make do. I'd push them aside or just pick them out. No biggie. This grown man started whining like some sort of child and I just didn't understand how he can feel secure about himself when he starts to whimper like a bitch and as someone else to fix his food for him. I'm mean, I guess if his entire family was murdered by a gangster pickle or something like that, then maybe I could understand. But since pickles don't usually look like this, then I think he could be a big boy and deal with the slight inconvenience that he never mentioned to me before. Grow up sir.

Anyway, I started searching about YouTube to eat up time before my next shift, and I stumbled across one of those YouTube protege singer-songwriters that spend all their time posting videos of themselves singing poorly into a grainy camera with terrible audio (like it matters). However, this individual I found to be quite captivating and incredibly talented. Her name is Mia Rose and she is pretty effing brills. I highly suggest her version of My Chemical Romance's "I Don't Love You", which can be found here. She brings a gentle and soothing quality to this song that really illuminates the lyrics. LOVES IT!

a post to be ignored - exhausted concerns

I started to fall asleep, but I then got so worked heart is racing and my mind becomes just a foggy mess of all these emotions that I can't really figure out. A mix of anxiety and jealousy and just plain fear is keeping me from getting to sleep. I am so scared. I need this and I want it and I am scared. A train speeding like a bullet from a gun and I am trying to stay standing upright as it reaches its highest velocity. I don't know how to control these rabid thoughts and I wish I could just close my eyes and think only of comforting notions, but fear is like that: it doesn't let you rest and it takes over. Being brave can be so damn hard and telling yourself that you are strong is only a lie we keep for ourselves so we can feel more comfortable pretending to just not feel anything. I'm giving this all my best shot, shot, shot. Bang, bang, bang. And what is frustrating is knowing that I partially do this to myself and that my mind...the two Pisces fish swimming around in my head constantly are battering my skull with worries. This means the world to me. So much more than I hoped it would. Goddamn these human minds for allowing such fear. I want this to mean everything.

i tried not to worry
but you've got me terrified.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I want to be what killed the dinosaurs.

"I couldn't stop killing," Bonin once told a reporter. "It got easier with each one..."

I have to agree. It does get to be a bad habit.

In the excitement of getting my new laptop, I forgot to mention that I finished Chuck Palahniuk's Lullaby a few days ago. Probably one of the strangest concepts for a book I've ever read (just behind Octavia Butler's Parable of the Sower and Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five). Spells and murder and magic books and dying babies, it was quite the mind-tripfuck. Once I got used to the very strange plot of the book, I really started to enjoy it and its very extreme and out-of-this-world characters. It definitely has intrigued me to read more of his stuff...I was researching him online (aka WIKI-ing him) and he has one book in particular that seems to have a pseudo-metafictional quality about it where a group of individuals are forced to write. It sounds lame when I write about it, but the same could be said about Lullaby. I have tried to explain the book to several people with each of them giving me a wary and amused smirk back, clearly thinking that the concept of the book is silly. But that's what I would assume is the secret gold of Palahniuk's work. His books have such elaborately creative and blatantly crazy premises, yet he is able to make sense of the bizarre and ridiculous situations he creates. I mean, anyone can pretty much write a cheesy and generic love story, but to write material as risky as that which is found in Palahniuk's novel and have it be entertaining and well-written is quite a feat that deserves much praise.

I have picked up David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day, which I read several stories from at the beginning of the summer. As always, it is hilarious and vulnerable. I'd love to meet him in person. He kicks ass.

(free) TV on the Web

Thanks to this absolutely fabulous NBC & Fox based television website Hulu, I am able to watch like a million different shows, some with clips from episodes and some with actually full-length episodes. Pretty sweet considering how YouTube and other sites aren't able to (legally) host copyrighted shows. While searching through their catalog, I came across Hell's Kitchen which I completely forgot about. Though a little trashier than Top Chef, I still enjoyed it very much and to my pleasant surprise, Hulu has every full episode from season 4, which thus explains why I am up at one in the morning. In a sick and kind of morbid way, it's very comforting to see pent-up and bursting tension in a restaurant kitchen that I am completely removed from. And Gordon Ramsey is pretty much a pimp.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My New Baby

So being that I have always been the overly paranoid type about pretty much anything in the entire world, I have been known to be especially frugal with money, rarely spending a dime on any (as Kevin would say) "toys" for myself. My car is from '91, I always look for the most cost-efficient places to live and I rarely indulge myself in any expensive luxuries for myself. And up until this point, the computer I have been using for the past 7-8 years has been a quite dependable Dell desktop. Being the trooper that it is, my wonderful computer has survived numerous hardships including but not limited to a failed hard drive (and consequential replacement), numerous files and programs added and deleted, a dying monitor/speakers/mouse as well as a cooling fan transplant. So after years of relying on old faithful, I have decided to both treat myself and give my dear dear desktop a much needed rest. I caved and spent a good chunk of $$$ on this beautiful piece of machinery. The color is not pink though, but actually a deep red...think of a candy apple. I am more than a little ecstatic about my purchase and have spent the past two hours customizing and tinkering around with it and all it has to offer. And while it did cost a pretty penny, I fully believe that it is money well-spent. Mwuah! LOVE LOVE LOVES IT!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Somewhere, I'm over the rainbow.

I went over to Kevin's place tonight and (since he is wonderful) he taped for me the season premiere of Top Chef that aired yesterday. Quite exciting, and may I just say that I am proud of myself for being well-versed enough in my waiter skills and culinary knowledge to actually have been able to know a good portion of the jargon that the potential Top Chefers used. I already have my favorites like the one guy that started out as a dishwasher and worked his way up to being a head chef, or something something. His name is....Eugene? I also kind of dig this mad crazy girl with a bouncy head and big ole eyes that bug out when she's excited. Don't remember her name, but she's pretty rad. There's also this one contestant who Kevin out pointed that has an uncanny resemblance Vanessa Carlton, so therefor that is what I will call her for the rest of the season. And then there's the one contestant I like to call "Bangs"...if you watched the show, you would totes know who I am talking about. She's interesting and I am trying to figure out if I like her, or if I'm just simply curious about her and what lies beneath her upsetting hair situation.

Anyway, two people already went home. First off was some boring chick that doesn't matter who couldn't cut/dice/cook apples who was forcibly peaced out before they even got to the kitchen (ouch!). Then this one gay dude who is still in culinary school got the boot during the first challenge. He was a good kid, but just not experienced enough to go up against these other seasoned chefs who have been doing this for years. Novices always have it rough, and I'm sorry to say that whatever this kid's name was will not be the Christian Siriano of Top Chef.

I'm excited for this season and goddamn my working schedule for making me have double shifts on Wednesdays! But thank you Kevin for your delicious DVR. However, this season has already irritated me a little bit, and I hope that this doesn't come across sounding crass or rude. The three gay contestants (now two after this first episode), made this big deal about themselves and created some lame phony-baloney "click" called the RaINbOw CoNNEcTioN or something equally uncreative and obnoxious. It may just be me, but my whole stance on sexuality comes down to the fact that it shouldn't be someone's sole attribute that shapes their personality. With so many intricate nuances that people have about themselves, to highlight something like their sexual orientation and making it the founding basis for any sort of representation seems selfish and childish. I don't want to seem malicious or weak or unsupportive; I feel that gay rights are very important (see two posts before) and I am very comfortable with who I am. I guess it's a defense mechanism that allows those of a feather to flock together in order to feel a familial safety. I respect that, but in a way it also seems to segment the minority party in a counterproductive way. Why not try to merge with those that aren't like you and change perspectives, rather than simply inhabit an already detrimental image. This topic goes far beyond this single instance during the show. I am just not a fan of the gay male mentality in general-> the hooking-up for hooking-up's sake, so to add some sort of twisted notch in a bedpost. The attempt to mark one's territory regardless of disease and the shameful color it can paint oneself in. There's got to be a more productive way to spend one's free time.

I am proud of who I am as a person, a friend, a son/brother/student/poet/worker/boyfriend and my sexuality is simply that...who I am attracted to. Have I worn a rainbow color accessory before, yes. Was I deeply upset by Prop 8? Yes. Am I ecstatic about Obama's president-elect status partially because of his liberal and accepting view of homosexual rights? You bet. Am I disgusted daily by the pitiful use of the word "gay" as a pejorative and am I dumbfounded by ignorant hate mongering coming from the mouths of both elected officials and everyday nobodies? Of course. But being proud does not mean becoming and reaffirming a highly commercialized and self-prejudicing image. I'm proud to be me and I'm proud to be in a monogamous relationship with another man that I care about deeply. I want equal rights for all and I would like to get married someday. That's enough for me. I don't need the shoddy glitz and glamor of a stereotype to make me feel fulfilled or worth something. I feel life is too short to spend it wasting time and talents that could be directed to doing something worthwhile.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

We've all gone crazy lately.

I am beginning to feel a little stir-crazy. These days feel like repeating movies and the past few months, though enjoyable, have become more and more frustrating. I want to go on some sort of a road trip. Not to anywhere in particular, but just get that exciting lost feeling of being somewhere unknown and having no other choice than to travel your way out of it. There are times when I just can't help but feel stuck in routines and barriers and I'm in desperate need of a break-out. I want the open road and loud music and fingers through the whistling air. I want new faces and strange places. I want to get lost and let the unknown environment force me to get a grip on certain aspects of my life. Too high-strung and often regretful over what I haven't done, I need to take steps to punctuate my life with things that will make it feel worthwhile. I'm so scared of what is out there that I need to just throw myself into it. Let the oblivion cover me head to toe and accept all that there is to accept about myself. Become a better person. I feel out of sorts everyday now and want to just relax and let breezes skirt me across this overwhelming anxiety towards everything. Accept all I have and hope the people I care about will eventually care about me the same. Life takes time and though my patience is waining, there is always a chance to reevaluate. And here it goes.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yet bigotry still exists.

Though I am so incredibly happy for Obama's presidential win, the celebration feels shrouded in some bigotry-induced rainclouds. The fact that roughly 52% of Californians are supporting the detrimental and prejudicial Proposition 8 to eliminate gay marriage really honestly breaks my heart. A black man was just elected president, yet still all is not equal in this country. Equality is for everyone, not just those who are white or male or heterosexuals. Supporting some twisted and maligned vision of what family values should be is only hurting this country. How dare someone impede on my rights and how dare someone take away what's important to a whole sector of people. This country has a lot of growing to do and as for this historic day, I feel it is incredibly bittersweet.

Thank You America

For the first time in a very long long while I must say that I am proud to live in the United States. I nearly broke down in tears last night. Here's to new beginnings and fixing the debacles of the past. Barack Obama is the shiz.