I continued to follow this proclamation this weekend when Kevin and I went with my sister Cindy to visit my other sister Melody up in Perth Amboy. To say I got intoxicated is an incredible understatement, but let's not skip over the magic that is the Jersey Shore and the wonderful time we had visiting Sandy Hook. Now, before I begin, I must make my feelings on the beach known. I love it for several reasons...those being the following:
1. The ability to fully immerse myself in water (aka swimming).
2. The sun and the off-chance that I will get
3. Making sea gulls jealous with ice cream treats that for some reason taste ten times more delicioso when you are covered in sand and sweat.
4. Being a complete asshole the next day at work when you can brag to all your coworkers about how much fun it was and how they "really need to get down there soon."
- and -
5. Being able to read and sleep interchangeably for as long as I want without anyone thinking I'm lazy.
Now, the worst things about the beach are:
1. The waves/undertow trying its damnedest to knock you over and drown you.
2. The sun and the very likely chance that I will get
3. Sand getting EVERYWHERE.
4. Bragging at work about your visit, only to have your coworkers start blathering about their beach home that they are spending all of August down at, avoiding completely the exhausting drive on the highway and the obnoxious task of finding a parking lot that won't rip $20 out of your pocket.
- and lastly, but worst of all -
And this last statement brings me into my story. Now, I won't for one minute say that I didn't absolutely love visiting my sister and getting drunk into the wee hours at her apartment while having deeply riveting and sometimes disturbing and always piss-in-your-pants-inducing conversations, but the beach as mentioned before has its flaws. And the existence of jellyfish is a curse on the world. We dive into the freezing water, well at least Cindy and Kevin do. Melody and I being saner and less sadomasochistic, decided it was best to baby-step our way into the freezing tundra water that came gushing at our ankles. After settling into the fact that yes, this is really cold and that yes, it won't get warmer, we dunked our heads under and tried to enjoy the feeling of floating that comes with salt water.
But then came the stinging. Well, I wouldn't even call it stinging, being that verb is a little over dramatic. Maybe, a slight grazing...like quickly rubbing the tip of your fingernail against your arm. Whatever you want to call it, it started to happen around our feet and slowly up around our torsos. Nothing to be alarmed about, but we began to notice several large brown and translucent jelly blobs bobbing around us in the water, like some sort of gang circling before the jump. Mildly freaked, we attempted to work our ways out of the undertow's clutches and while retreating, I looked below me to see that floating on the surface of the water is what seemed to be collections of light foam. Upon closer inspection the revelation that these were actually small little segmented pieces of infant jellyfish began to sit in, and thusly did our panic. Our swimming (or should I say thrashing) towards the beach picked up and we exited rubbing our bodies and launching towards our blankets. A small itching irritation, like that of a baby mosquito bite, began to cover my legs. Upon drying off it faded off, but not for Cindy, who started to get a semi-severe irritation on the side of her stomach. The rest of us laid back down onto the blanket and I started to read David Sedaris' new book while Cindy began wondering if the lifeguards would have any vinegar up at their booths. I said "No" and that was the end of it. Her pain faded as well and we enjoyed the rest of the weekend engaging in my four favorite activities:
- and -
So therefore, the trip was a complete success and aside from the joy of being able to visit Melody, I also learned that jellyfish are a direct creation from the devil and that they should be avoided at all cost. As mentioned a few entries ago, Kevin and I visited Belmar two weeks ago, and when were there I witnessed these two monster children standing over a washed-up jellyblob, poking at it and flipping it like a pancake, before splitting it in two with a shell. I thought how disgusting those little brats were and how awful and barbaric their parents much be...but now, I honor them for facing this gelatinous enemy head on, and giving it a taste of its own biting medicine.